I once was diognosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I took celxa for 6 months and I was never quite the same after that. I feel like my brain got messed up, like I cant think straight. I really dont want to go back to the hospital but I have started crying more about random things. I am just generally sad. I also have been isolating my self more I only talk to one of my friends and even they dont know whats going on. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'll get sucidal, I think about it some times. I dont think i would ever do it though. I feel like I'm just falling down this black abis. I'm 15 and I really dont want to die, but some times I dont think i can handle it. Please answer ASAP. thanks
The first thing you really need to do, and I know it's super hard, but you have to talk to somebody about it. Tell your friend about how you're feeling and they might be able to help you out when you're feeling your worst. If you have a teacher or a family friend you really trust you can talk to them as well to get help. I actually "came out" about my depression to a random family doctor in a walk-in clinic first and just cried in her office for like an hour longer than the appointment was supposed to go. She was able to refer me to a therapist to help me out. It took me a really long time to admit that I couldn't do it on my own and ask for help, but once I did it made me feel so much better to get the weight off my shoulders. It's really hard to get up the effort and the bravery, but you just have to trust that being depressed is really the bottom of the bottom and by getting help you'll only be going up.
Medication isn't usually given to somebody as young as you because of the side-effects, but seeing a therapist to just learn how to cope can make an amazing difference. Once you're older you can make an educated decision about what kind of medications you might want to try.
Just because you're depressed doesn't mean that you're necessarily going to be suicidal. They are two completely different things. If you don't want to kill yourself then you're not going to do it.
I know how much it *****, I'm actually feeling pretty depressed right now, but it can get so much better. I find it helps to think of the depression as like a monster that hangs onto your back and just attacks you to make you feel like ****, but you can get stronger than it and learn to beat it off and make it go away for a while. It doesn't have anybody to help it, after all, and you totally do.
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