I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm going into my first year of high school in September. Ending middle school I started noticing I cared less and less about almost everything I did. I stopped piano lessons and became reluctant to go to my archery classes and tournaments. I used to write a lot, but suddenly I couldn't be creative at all.
At the end of school and throughout this summer I became addicted to video games, I'd stay up until 4 or 5AM and sleep until noon or later. Then I'd spend the whole day playing games until late and repete. All the time I have this dark cloud over everything I say and do. Even when one of my best friends came over and made me laugh really hard, I still felt... Empty... And dark.
I DON'T want to be like this, I want to be productive, but I just can't bring myself to do anything anymore... I just don't care. I was supposed to be reading these four books and doing reports on them and I can't even do that! I LOVE reading... This was when I realized there was something really wrong. I sit at my computer and stress about not getting the book reports done and I think of how I'm going to make an excuse or... Something, I don't know what to do. I go to bed freaking out about how I'm not going to get it done and I start crying, normally. I don't want to disappoint the teachers or my parents, because that'd be letting down myself. I told my mom and she says it's just a teen thing, but I think something is really up.
I feel awful and pressed all the time, but I try to ignore it... Something needs to change, but I don't care enough to change it... It doesn't help that my mother does nothing too even though she knows about it, she just gave me a hug and told me not to worry.
I'm scared I'm going to fail high school. I am scared I'm going to disappoint my family and my teachers and I really REALLY don't want to. I want to go back, I want to feel like I used to... I was happy... I was okay...
Any and all help is greatly appreciated.
Depression is a chemical imbalance... Also... It's time to tell others besides your mom. Hormones at your age can also mess with your mind. I'm dealing with these same thoughts but at a much later stage in life. It is a real feeling..you are not imagining it. It's great that you are talking about it. Getting more sleep will help... You are using the video games as a distraction. Please tell someone that will listen. Hope this helps.
I also used to be like that. My dad limited my video games to an hour a day. But that ended up not really helping. I moped around and just sat and watched tv. But the thing that helped me change was that I went to my friends. They stood by me for a while but my grouchiness turned most of them away. One of them stood by me still and made me start writing my stories again. At first I was really bad at the writing. I was just getting worse when I saw how my former talent had left me. But I made a choice that I really wanted to change. So I kept up with it. I still am, to be honest. I'm going into my freshman year of high school in three days so I'm hoping it was enough. I think it was :) Try talking to your friends or even a stranger who is willing to listen.
Hi. I'm 14 aswell, but I'm in 2nd year of secondry school in Ireland. I'm finding I care less about things and am a bit more oblivious to whats going on around me. I talk back to my teachers when they bug me, I cry myself to sleep nearly every night, I have bad dreams, I'm always on the edge, but it's just thinking that something from a horror movie is watching me. I'm usually all excited about christmas, and xfactor and school projects, but suddenly, I'm a little lost. I didn't speak to my mum about it, and I lied to the school guidance lady. I love to read, but I can't get into my books. I'm keeping up my grades somehow, but I don't work hard in class, except for art, where I feel I can totally relax. Maybe you should draw more, it works for me. I listen to lots of up-beat songs, and avoid the likes of gothic music. Sorry if this is long, but I thought it might help to know your not the only one on the rocky boat! Thanks.
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