I'm a 20 year old IT student and I'm feeling really depressed. It has been going on/off that way for 3+ years now. I'm certain it isn't my grades because I could easily get a flat 1 grade(grading system here in the Philippines, where 1 is the highest) if I wanted to. I previously took a Civil Engineering course (chosen by my parents) but I lost interest, so I stopped for a semester and decided to take a course in IT (I'm going to be in my third year next semester). But now I am really lost, don't get me wrong, I love my course (Viva Programming!), but now I feel disinterested and lacking motivation. I missed many classes, although I haven't had a failed subject yet but soon there will be if I continue this. Sometimes I can't sleep until 2:00 o'clock in the morning, I'm always thinking about what would my future be (A Jack of all trades, master of none). I'm starting with small steps to improve (tried to learn new programming languages) but I can't seem to finish anything.
I pondered about the solutions. I wanted apply for my first job to get a feel of what would it be like but I always had social problems. I'm shy and insecure. It's a circular problem really. I want to get a job to be confident but I lack the confidence to apply. Then I wanted to have an emotional support but I don't want to involve my parents anymore (they've been through a lot). I'm like a bad mix of bad attitude. I wanted to consult for professional help but I'm scared that it may cost me a lot. What should I do? Please help me.
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