Need Some Guidance

[Imjustme123]

Hi all! So...I'm 16 and pretty sure I am depressed just sort of in denial of it I guess you could say. I keep assuring myself I can get through it all alone but lately I'm not so sure...this all started my freshmen year, I'm a junior now. I've been waiting for this numbness to go away, and sometimes it does! But when it finally does wear off the results are miserable and I find myself wishing once more to just simply be numb. Yet when I'm in this dull phase of sorts I have to cope with it. Somehow, someway. So I cut. Alot. Of course I'm not proud of it and I have been desperately trying to stop. To slow down the process in some manner but it's not going away anytime soon. Keeping all this in mind now there is a new problem adding major stress to all of this. PTSD. It's been a good 4 to 5 months now since the incident that I'm still struggling with happened. Long story short there was a wreck that happened to someone else we stopped to help, I was told not to go closer, but I ended up getting too close (stupid me, I know.)  I saw too much and...the person died that was in the accident. In front of me. So now...I'm just kind of here. No feeling. No emotion except for this fear of telling my parents who I know would help but might treat me differently. It's all getting worse. Everything. Grades are dropping, being social is becoming a chore and self harm is at its peak. I'm sorry this post is so lengthy...didn't mean to put all of that but it's the shortest way I can put it. But I'm sorry...if anyone at all could just...tell me what I need to do I would appreciate it. Thank you for your time.

[YardBull]

Try to talk with a parent or both about what you have been going through.  They should be able to help and want the best for you.  If that is impossible, go to a trusted teacher, clergyman, school counselor, or someone else in a position to listen and help you.  Help is available. Also, in addition, I recommend professional counseling for you to be able to talk out these issues on a continuing basis until you feel much better.

[Jemma084]

Okay so, I'm sorry if this is too late, but I just found the page and read what you post. I'm sorry you are going through all of those awful things. I completely understand what you say about your parents because we are in the same boat. I'm 15 and I don't know if I'm depressed or what, but I feel the same way that you do. I can´t tell my parents because they would either not believe me or freak out.
I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be fine, but I'm not that kind of person, and I don't know that. Maybe you should try talking with a close friend, or with an older sibling. If you don't want to talk, or can't talk about it, maybe trying to find a hobby would be good for you. When I´m feeling down or anxious I play some music, draw, or do something that will distract me.
Good luck and stay strong


(And, about the person that died... I don´t know if this is the most adequate thing to say, and I'm really sorry if I hurt you... But honestly, I think that that person is now in a better place. Try to think that, and please don't blame yourself or anything like that, because it wasn't your fault)