well there is no point in life from my point of view. i mean i am not gonna kill myself or anything but i think its true. whats the point because you live, you go to school for all your good years. and then you work till you die. you work for the higher ups. the government and everything if you die nobody will care. maybe 3 or 4 people will be hurt for life but the rest will get over it or never even know DONT KILL YOURSELF but i am just saying. and when you retire you are so worn out traveling the word and doing fun stuff is lame, you arent really a spring chicken anymore. swimming, traveling, flying in a plane is hard to do with medications and when you are all worn out. agreed? i mean we are nothing special. each normal average person. we are one of the crowd. lame. powerless. easily got rid of if we make trouble. i just freakin hate life and i am not even 18 yet!!
You really have gone through a lot. I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, things really do get MUCH, MUCH better after high school. All that drama in high school, you just don't see as much in college and beyond. You're in 11th grade. That means you have 1 1/2 years of high school left. If you can just hang on and do the best you can to pass all your classes, it will get better. I promise. You know the expression "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger" ? It's true. Because of all you've gone through, it will not only make you a stronger person but also a more compassionate person because you understand how it feels to be picked on, hurt, taken advantage of, lied to. So, don't stoop to the same level of these other shallow people. Lift your head up and remind yourself that you deserve better.
Think about joining a group or club, preferably outside of school so that you can meet new kids who don't go to your school. Befriend the new kid, or the outcast. You know how it feels. Learn to be a good friend. Try and talk to Laurence and ask him if he will forgive you for how you treated him and if you guys can be friends again. If he says no, then just leave it and learn from it. All of life teaches us lessons. Sometimes the lessons are painful. We can grow from them and move on, or we can let it destroy us.
Killing yourself is not the answer. All it does is leave behind a legacy of pain and sadness. We only get one shot on this earth. Life is precious and fragile. I know things look bad, but I promise it WILL get better if you can hang on.
One place that you might consider going to where the kids are usually pretty accepting is a church youth group. I have found the most loving, accepting people through church. Give it some serious thought. I believe we have a God who cares about us and He doesn't want to see us suffering and mistreating each other.
Don't give up. Keep looking forward. Have some goals of things you want to do and go for it. Once you're out of high school, it's a whole new world waiting for you! I think you'll like it. :) Take care. God bless.
sorry you have been through all this. trust me i know how it is!! i had hell my whole time in school. people made fun of me and stuff and was so mean. now i look back then and see what i got now, and when i see them all i can do is think,( old classmates) your the ones that made me be a beter person, your the ones to show me that i CAN be beter than you!. i tried so hard and i think im doing great!! alot beter than most of the people i have seen, exept an old friend playing for the dallas cowboys now, lol. just give it time, you dont have much more time in there, then show them by working hard that your a beter person and you will end up further in life than they will. i now have a wonderfull family and a very good life and i think its from the life i had making me wanna be beter than them
*I left out the capitalized part by accident*
Nothing new really happened in 9th grade. I started working at school again because I was sick of the yelling at home. I STILL HAD A CRUSH ON FIONA but after a lot of my friends leaving me and Evelyn leaving me I had no self esteem and so I didn't ask her out.