Ok, my names Cassidy. I'm 13 years old. And I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. I've taken a dozen depression tests online and they all say high or very high. Anyway, I need help. I've been in my new school since the begging of the year and I still seem alone. I do have a friend I hang out with at school and another group of girls in my class that are really nice but I just don't seem like I fit in. At times it seems like everyone hates me or I don't even exist. I've lost interest in things I used to love and usually just go on teen chat rooms and try to find someone similar to me. I never do though. I really hate people ( not because everyone is rude it's because I'm extremely shy and quiet. I honestly will tear up whenever I'm walking down the street and someone passes me. ) and I hate seeing people I know from school outside of school. Most people just ignore me but others will be so happy to see me then we go to school and don't even care. Whenever I'm out in public somewhere I will just put my hood up and hope nobody notices me. I know a lot of you will say this is hormones or something like that but it feels more serious than that. I honestly didn't even want to post this because I know people have way bigger issues than me and mines nothing but I didn't want to keep it to myself anymore. That's also the reason I have not cut. Because people have better reasons than me and then I feel selfish or whatever. Just please help....
Hi, Cassidy. My name is Rose. I understand that you are experiencing a tough time right now. Going to a new school and adapting to a new environment is not all that easy for a lot of people. It's like you want to fit in but you don't feel like people will accept you for who you are. And sometimes fitting in means having or pretending to have the same interests as others. But it's a huge conflict and a waste of time when deep down inside all you know how to be is yourself. So you then try to find someone that is like you but you find no luck and you feel alone. Inside, you feel as though all you have to do is pretend to be invisible and hope no one sees or acknowledge you.
Cassody, this is a normal way to feel. I too had this same issue when i was in grade school. I struggled with adjusting when I went to a new school. I didn't like the whole process of introducing myself or making new friends. All I wanted to do was go back to my old school and be with my old friends. It takes a lot of time to rebuild your circle of friends and feel comfortable in a new environment. Many night I cried because I felt like an outsider. I felt like no one liked me (which I later learned was not true).
I told my mom about the circumstance because I wanted to know how to resolve it. Her advice was to "be yourself because thats the only way you're going to make friends that are going to like you for you". I kid you not I was the first girl in my school to wear a tutu with sneakers on and a tiara on my head (this was in 2004, when I was 14). I had people saying "OMG! That's different but I like it". Exactly a week later a group of girls in my class decided to wear tutus and sneakers and they called themselves the "BALLER-rinas" lol. I mad a lot of friends just by being my own unique self and all though I did not find another person like me, I did make a lot of friends that accepted me for me :-)
I hope my story helps you. Write me back. I'm here for you.
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