What can you do when you hit rock bottom? Do you give up? or give in to the thoughts that go through you mind? I dont know what to do anymore there are so many voices telling what to do what one do I listen to? All I want is for the hurt, pain, and lonelyness to end, but will it ever end?
I've looked at this question thousands of times over a whole lifetime 58 years) of depression. I can tell you two things I've determined...
As long as you're alive you're still in the game -- you may not ever get your initials up on the screen, but is that why you put in your money? If so then keep playing to win, if not then just try to enjoy yourself. Personally, I've never gotten past level one at anything, but I've learned a few things.
Next, YOU have ALL the cards you need to play your hand (with more coming), but YOU are the only one who decides how you will play them -- forty years ago (and many times since) I was told that I would feel a world better if I gave up processed foods (if you can't look at it and recognize the thing (plant or animal) it came from don't eat it), exercised on a simple but regular basis, and took up activities expressly intended to improve my own state of mind (yoga, massage, spiritual development). IF.
Instead, I got a prescription for medicine to cover up my anxiety (stress) symptoms and went right on with what I knew were sloppy health habits.
Then I needed a prescription for depression (crying is a symptom that your adrenal glands are not up to the demands being made on them). I could have looked into how to eat to support my body, but I had insurance and pills were easier.
Other prescriptions followed... Lots of antibiotics (because chronic adrenal stress erodes your immune system), various stomach and bowel medications (because the other medicines were interfering with my digestion), and so on. And surgeries... I've had four organs removed because of infection. The nutritional supplements I took (so much easier than changing what I was eating) didn't seem to help much -- conclusive research now shows that, even if I had been eating right, medications block the body's ability to absorb nutrients.
And, would you believe, I'm still not exercising yet. I've finally woke up to the music and I've changed my diet. I realize now that for the health insurance co-payments I've made I could have bought a whole lot of yoga classes and other holistic services, so I have made some belated progress.
So, my own answer to your question is a question... How are you playing the cards? I lost every game in the forty years I ignored the advice I was given. I hope you don't.
I hope my answer didn't come across as unsympathetic to your problem or your feelings of hopelessness. BELIEVE me, you could find people who would know better than I do, but lets hope not too many! :) Whenever I feel like I've had it really bad, it doesn't take more than a few minutes to realize there are plenty, maybe even you, who've had worse.
I received an email recently with photos of a peppy little kid with a brilliant smile... Showing off his new set of robot legs, standing next to the four pairs of prosthetic legs he's outgrown since he was born with no legs.
Sort of puts me in my place, thinking of it. Maybe today is the day to start my new walking program. lol
Seriously, another thing I'm just beginning to understand is that, when you need help, set an example for someone else who needs help. I'm not sure exactly how that works... it involves asking yourself what you need to do to be happy today... but I've been reading a lot of posts by people here on MH who are actually coming along really well, and helping others while treating themselves right seems to be an ingredient in the self-help programs of some who sound happiest. Here's hoping that's me and you soon. :)
It says "happy today", not tomorrow or next year. For that matter, what can you do to be happier right this minute? Have you had some water in the last hour our so? You can't be happy if you're not hydrated.
One of the posts I read in my own despair tonight suggested putting a rubber band on your wrist... then, any time you're not happy, snap the rubber band and ask yourself if you were thinking about the past, the future, our now. If it's now, ask yourself what you could DO NOW to make yourself feel better. What ever it is, it's a new card you've been dealt that you can play!
When you say, "the cards I've been dealt", remember it's not the only hand you'll ever hold and that you have the option of adding new cards any time you want to. To quote myself, "When I think about pain, I feel pain...". When I try to think about something good for myself sometimes I have to think about my problems in smaller and smaller ways... It helps to break my problems down into smaller parts of the problem... And sometimes what I can do to make myself happy right now is only a very little thing. But I can pick between being unhappy right this minute or doing the little thing I thought of.
The little things make a difference, especially over time. Do happy.
Feels as if? You live a fantasy? kbw1991, there is no such thing as a tunnel with no way out... Tunnels usually have at least two ways out. If all you do is ask yourself which direction is right and move in that direction you'll get to one of them.
As for which direction is right, I'm going to be you have some firm ideas about what is right and what is wrong. And if, in some case, you don't... look for somebody who does. In the book that got me started eating better, a lady is worried because one of her kids has just been diagnosed with diabetes. She talks to the doctors, reads about the long-term effects of insulin use, and despairs. Then she LOOKS UP and she's able to see that there are healthy people out there and she wonders how they're doing it (she's not too healthy herself)... Finally she takes advantages of little opportunities to ask these people what they do to stay healthy.
Eventually she hears an idea that makes sense to her and she reads a book about it. Her family is now extremely healthy and furthermore their wealthy from writing books and teaching other people how they did it.
If she can figure out how to cure a disease that the doctor told her was incurable (and she was no kid) what can you do, provided you're willing to look up and find people who are already doing the things you want to do with your life. If you don't know what you want to do with your life, that's one of those smaller pieces of the big problems. Look up and see what other people who look happy are doing. Get out and walk around, get on your computer, look. Do happy.
I see that you have just joined MH. You are NOT ALONE. Read the posts in the forums that interest you (I read tonight about what it takes to get off xanax... made me think twice about my recent decision to try it)... Notice the answers that give you hope or thug that make sense to you.
Click on that poster's name and check out their profile, read some more of their posts there, especially look to see what other forums they belong to and check out the ones that sound good to you.
You are definitely not alone! There are lots and lots of people here for you. If you don't get answers for every question right away trust that you'll get the answers you need as you go along.
You heard from an old cat tonight. You'll find people nearer your own age who are improving and can tell you how they're doing it. I'll be doing a little looking up for you in my prayers (I like to pray out loud, works better for me).
Hey,the only way to go when you have hit the bottom of that pit is up,there is no lower a person can go,so even with all the bad cards you have been dealt,you are still here with a fighting chance,that tunnel does have a light you just have to be strong positive,and reach out for it,you can do this,with help and determination and now you got us to help you,go look for that light,and get your life to the stage you want it to be
I wrote a great post earlier today while I had to wait for something to happen and my phone ate it just as it was sending!
It can take a little time to get established on here, and you have time.
Let me know how you're feeling. I have time and I care. Soon you will meet other people who also care. Nobody's here for the fun of it, although some do have lots of fun.
When you feel like it, go to the button at the top that says Forums then click on User Groups. You might find some people you can relate to quicker that way. They, in turn, will direct you to other forums/groups either directly or you will find them by cruising the profiles of people whose posts made sense to you.
I got just about zero sleep last night, so don't be dismayed if you don't hear from me tonight. Move around in here and read. Ask whatever question comes to your mind on whatever forum/group catches your attention.
You'll know when you've found the right forums/groups because the right people will respond to your posts with things that actually help.
Somewhere along the line the transformation will happen... somebody will have a problem you know the answer to - or hope you do! :) Your experience is valuable and you never know who will learn from you. That's what it's all about... that's why we're here. I haven't read anyone's post yet that didn't show that they have some idea what you're going through and they want to help.
Your pain is real. So is what's causing it, so are the things you can do that will make a difference and create change. :) You got yourself here... big step.
All right folks... I was just about to get in my jammies when i remembered this post. I am putting on my sneakers and going to take that first walk right now. Cowabunga... if I can do it, you can do it!!!
I remember I used to get to so down all the time felt like ending it all a few times, but the main thing is is that you're still alive and there is a fighting chance, as others have said, once you're rock bottom you cant go any further, so the only way is up. there are many ways in which to vent that really helped me get out all my emotions and made me feel better.
i know it may sound silly but i used to write down everything i thought in my head on an etch a sketch type toy, no matter how bad it was and used to delete it so no one could see how i felt because i didnt want to talk to anyone and it really helped. music also played a large factor in recovering from the sad depressed state i was in. i listened to a lot of heavy metal because it was fast and upbeat and it helped me vent all the rage and frustration i felt against myself. I listened to some sad songs too but they didnt really help they way the rock music did. i picked up a guitar one day and started going to lessons. after a while i was writing my own tunes being able to play what i felt, venting my pain and frustration through my own music and it really helped. eventually I realised that life only sucked because i let it get to me, the only person who can turn your life around is you, bad things do happen but you can make it better for yourself. there are lots and lots of people going through the same thing, imagine one day, the day you make it through all this crap, how good you could make someone else feel by helping them get through it too
the best advice I can give from personal experience it fasting all negative thinking. As soon as anything negative comes in your head, rebuke it and keep doing this over and over. The devil attacks the mind first and it can be overwhelming which is his intention. If he can control you with negative thoughts, he can destroy you.
. I learned this from watching alot of preaching on tv ---to fast all negative thoughts and actions that went through my head immediately...
and it was very difficult to make myself do this day after day but I left the past behind and did this and it changed my life.Next I got addicted to watching preaching on tv when i was down and it really had a effect on me helping me so much I really like watching Joyce Meyer, Cleflo Dollar, Jesse Duplantis, etc etc etc....I am a different person. Now I control my life, not my thoughts or past or hurts and pains.
at first i had to renew my mind every second it seemed like, then it was every minute, then every hour, then several times a day until one day months later I realized....wow...I really am happier. I surrendered every hurt or negative thought to GOD and said..it is in your court GOD, I am releasing it all to you and not picking it back up with my thought life. I trust GOD to handle it.
Instead of changing others, I was changed and ironically slowing I saw real changes in every aspect of my life literally and in others. Praise GOD.
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