What do I do to help myself when no one else will?

[SurroundedByDark]

I want you to know I'm a teenager. I'm only 16. But I'm not like the other teenagers my age. I think I have depression. But I'll get to that. First off, I come from a good family. They are all Christians, they don't do drugs, don't do crimes, don't smoke, they don't even cuss. Most importantly, they don't believe in depression. i once tried to talk to them about it and they thought I had a demon inside me. i don't know what to do. Ive had these feelings for years, and they only get worse. i cry, i sob, over little things, everything hurts me. i don't have friends anymore at school, i can literally go through the whole day without talking to one person. and I don't feel like i have the strenght to have friends or relationships anyway. and i hate myself. Everything, i'm just so ugly and stupid and pathetic in my own eyes. I know others have to see it this way too. My grades are slipping to F's, they are Fs. life is just nothign to me. i don't have goals or aspirations or things i wanna do or things I like. i just feel so wrong all the time. I wanna hide and i want to hug all the time. My eating is out of control and I just want to sleep. i'm restless and tired at the same time. and I know these feelings can't be normal. I talked to my doctor once, when my parents weren't around, and she agreed I could have depression. but I mentioned the talk to my parents and now they think the doctor is crazy. maybe I'm crazy. I feel crazy, escecailly when I get so worked up over little things. My parents love me I know, and they don't believe in depression for religious regions. But what else could be wrong with me? i need to know, before I really reach a breaking point and something happens. Again.

[DeadontheInside]

I'm just like you.

I've gone to a bubbly, cheerful guy who socializes alot to a monotonous, dead, boring kid who goes to school with the least of interaction ever and yet doesn't feel anything wrong about it.

First off, I'd like to say that you may or may not have social anxiety disorder which can be shown here http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html. If you do, it'll explain alot on the way you feel.

Secondly, I'd like to add that my family is very similar to your family in the aspects of being highly religious and not believing in depression (they actually didn't allow me to take the prescribed pills, saying that the depression was the work of the devil and can be cured through prayers).
    I did have faith in God but I know that it simply wouldn't be 'enough' for it to work that way... I  am still yet to take my medication though but I highly recommend for both me and you to see a therapist, I heard it's really good.

I can relate to you wanting to hug and hide all the time as well. I see this as my way of escaping from my troubles and finding happiness (although I know it's fake hapiness) by internet addiction and pornography.

I am too caught up on thinking about what others think of me that I can't come up with a conversation that I wouldn't worry about so I'd much prefer to isolate myself from socializing itself.

Trust me, people do not care how you look, it's only you that can be the judge of yourself. I myself always looked in the mirror and said, "Oh what a ******* ugly piece of ****" but then again, deep down I know I'm lying to myself. You can never be sure on how others think about how you look until you consult them straight up or else you'll be living in a world of lies to yourself being unhappy for absolutely no reason.
   Besides, even if you consider others and yourself to think of you as ugly on the OUTSIDE, be fantastic and handsome on the INSIDE. Bring out that personality!

You're not crazy, there are many people who feel the way in which you do.

Again, I strongly recommend a visit to a therapist or psychologist, they'll be of extreme help to your life.

[trekrgirl]

Hello, being that the family is good christians,have you tried prayer?  I  know this may seem endless and dark but it will pass, hang in there.  Try doing some physical activity, lifting weights or running, gettting up and outside in the sun will help you work through depression and good hard work out or run will increase those endophines that boost your mood.  I know you say you have lost your friends and can go all day without talking to anyone, but it is time to break out of that and start talking, if you find in hard  just start with a simple hi!  do you have a mirror in your room?  If so take a washable marker and write a positive statement, like Smile, I like me!  anything positive, you may not feel posititve take a baby step, push your self into a positive light.  God has given you great Power the Power of choice, make a choice to work towards the other side.  You can make this change, just babysteps at first 1 thing positive everyday. "You are worth it" I am not a religious person but I know faith is strong and he gives us nothing we can deal with we just have to find a path and get started.  Remeber one positive thing everyday, in a few days add one more and continue on.

[goodgardenpeas28]

Well, it seems to me that you have all the symptoms of depression, but there are ways to deal with depression that don't include medication, and considering your situation you probably wont have access to meds until you turn 18 or maybe even later. I would suggest talking to someone at your school like a social worker, guidance counselor or if you're as lucky as I was to have one, a school psychologist. Talk to them and try to work out your feelings without dealing with your parents. If you need to involve your parents it is good to have a school professional on your side to help explain things to them. I wish you the best of luck!