how do i prevent myself from slipping into old habbits?
So i'm a 19 year old girl and i am worried that i am at risk of slipping back into depression again. When I was 14 i was bullied severly, and being adopted have never formed a close relationship with my adoptive parents, meaning that I was very self conscious and kept everything to myself. I dealt with this by self harming and refusing to eat anything (i became an anorexic). However I overcome this at the age of 18 when I went to university. I made some brilliant friends and got my confidence back, as well as being in a long term relationship. However, late october of last year my best friends dad jumped in front of a train in front of us and killed himself. Since that day, my best friend who I've grown up with since birth said she couldnt ever see me again because I would remind her of that day. I have nothing against her decision and wish her the very best, the only problem was that my previous school friends also abandonned me-as to not upset her, and then a week after this all happened my so called 'best' friend from uni decided it would be funny to play a practical joke based around this traumatic event. Now i am struggling to find work- the typical stupid reason being that i'm "over qualified" (like that makes sense), my mum is constantly on my case, and has gone out of her way on several occasions to make sure i have no way of being happy and getting success, and all i can think is that i don't know how to cope without slipping back into my old ways! I haven't self-harmed in 6 months and promised myself that was the last time, yet now i'm stumped as to how to deal with everything......................please help!
Ok, I want to start by saying me and you have a lot in common... alot. I, too, suffered from depression, which lead to anorexia and quite a few other problems. Until recently, I've been able to keep my depression on the down low, but lately, it's been killing me and it's almost gotten to the point that I think i'm starting to become bipolar. My suggestion to you is try and keep yourself as busy as possible. I know your a college student (So am I, im a freshman) and sometimes your classes can be overwhelming, but if you have a few hours a day that you can spare, try and get a job if you don't already have one. Having that to focuz on helps sooo much. Also, if your college has a gym/weightroom, try and go for atleast 30 mins every day or every other day. When you workout, you release certain things
(i'm not sure what lol im not good with technical terms) that literally make you happier and relaxed. Hopefully those things will help. Besides that, just try simple things like yoga. And obviously venting to people (usually people who somewhat understand what your going through). You may not know me, but feel free to message me. Obviously I understand a little more than others would... good luck.
Thank you for replying, it really means a lot to know that I am not alone. I go to the gym regularly and this usually does help, however it doesn't help my feelings creeping up on me at night. I suffer from PTSD and my dreams are extremely disturbing, meaning sleep is rare. My bf is really supportive and i know he's there to talk to but it does make me feel guilty for burdening him with everything. I will try yoga though =]. I received some more bad news today, and at the moment have no idea how to handle it! I really appreciate your advice, and I will try my best to help you too!
Keeping away from old coping mechanisms can be a hell of a thing, especially under difficult circumstances. That certainly sounds like a lot to handle - and though our stories are quite different - I do see where you are coming from.
The hardest part of avoiding these trends comes if they actually worked previously. These things can become the 'tried and true' for some, and will look to fall back into them. You're well past the age where you're learning that things "will get better in time"; you know they do, it's just a matter of time. I say this to anyone who can come out and says what's bothering them, but it takes a good bit of strength to ask for help. Something I couldn't do for the longest time.
Self harm is a distraction; a physical pain that mutes the emotional harm for the time being, but is just a bandaid. I've been there, love, and know where you're coming from. Coping can be hard, especially as the 'items' really add up and place a weight. Getting your mind of the particular issue can be the difficult part, but the most important. Me, I love movies -- especially comedy or action. They're like mini-vacations where I don't have to think. I'm also a bit of a sports/athletics junkie, and any high-intensity activity will keep your mind out of the matter, and give your system a serious boost.
Think of the things that excite you, and the things that you really enjoy. No matter what the obsticle, get out there and try them. You seem to have an amazingly loving BF who I sure would like to get out there with you. Think of these things like dates if you'd like. Set goals; something that can be amazing with physical activity...Don't think of them as "damn, 20 more to go", think of it like "30 down, 40 down, 50 down".
Talking is the other part of the program. I understand that you may feel like you're burdening your man, but that what they're here for. Sometimes you need that un-biased person, and if so, we're always here to chat. Be fully open, and let it out. We usually hold our true thoughts and feeling inside, in fear of 'weirding out' the people around you. That is the big perk of a friendly-stranger.
Feel free to open up more, and if you'd love to chat, feel free to drop me a line.
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