I feel competely abnormal. i hathis ve this feeling of numbness and knot in my stomach. i absolutely have zero emotions and if i do they last about 2 seconds and then im numb again.I dont get "HURT" anymore or even feel happy or joyful, i feel nothing almost like im a blank piece of paper. At school i have trouble participating in class, i have trouble thinking and coming up with opinion of my own. when i get bad scores i dont get disappointing i just brush it off like it's nothing. i have zero motivation to do anyting. i have no life outside of school, i dont hang out with friends, do schoool activities or rarely talk to anyone. im always on twitter. i mainly dont go out because of my strict parents that wont let me do anything but now i dont even care to do it. In middle school i wasnt good at communicating with people so people always wouldnt try to talk to me and when i got to high school i just shut myself and stoped trying to talk to people because i feel like im annoying them. im always alone in class even when im with a group of people i always feel like an outsider or like im not really part of that group. i dont have motivation to do anything at all. im now a senior and im in the process of feling out apps but i dont even care much i just started now and im just doing it and im in the whatever mood. I know im not supposed to feel this way, i know im supposed to be excited for college, and motivated to do schoolwork but the trut is i rather spend my time on twitter, and it's not ike i acutally have friends on twitter that talk to me, i just like to read peoples conversation and fangirl. im a huge justin fan and tbh i spend most of my time imagining myself as a celebrity that is completely different from who i am. i dont think im gona get into a good school anyway, im not interesting enough im not a very pretty girl nor i try to make myself decent. i look at my peers pictures on facebook with their friends and i always wish of having that life but i have strict parents and i dont know how to make friends. i do have couple of friends at school but we only talk at school and i feel like i bore them to death. i feel like have this big fog/cloud surrounding my brain that keeps me from thinking, following arguments/conversations. At times i say the most stupidest and do the stupidest things imaginable. i tend to forget very easily. and i also have big issues with my parents. my mom is an old fashioned person who disciplines childeren by hitting them and she just twists everything and my dad yells all the time and i feel like regrets having this family, even though he feeds us, buys us food, and does everything for our schoolwork. so i dont have a great relationship with my parents, i hardly talk to my dad and me and my mom arent even close at all. when i look back i dont really remeber a time where i felt truly happy or had emotions. ( i think maybe 7 and 8th grade?) my mom is now hitting my 3 year old sister as im typing this. my little brother and sister are always getting hit and it just makes it worse for me. im so angry with my mom!! she doesnt deserve children since she doenst know how to raise them!!! she just wants to have a job and a career and i wish she had that instead of us!! i just want to feel again, i just want to be happy, i just want to be able to make a decision easily, i want to be motivated, i want my mom and dad to get patience, i want my little siblings to grow up to being happy and not unhappy like me right now, i want go to a good college and i just want to enjoy my life.... because right now i dont see that happening anytime soon. i feel like i should get a therapist but i dont want to talk to my parents about this. i feel like the're depressed themselves.
How are you? Talking about what you feel, to your friends, and here in our group helps. If you are not comfortable talking to your parents, talking to your teacher or school counselor also will help refer you to a therapist if you like. You are still young and you have a bright future ahead. Let us know how we can we help. Take care and hope to hear from you soon.
Hey, I'm sorry you feel this way and I totally get it. It sounds to me as though you're dealing with most of the classic clinical depressions symptoms, I've been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was 7 and still haven't figured it out! One thing you MUST remember is that this is not you, this is your mind. I'm not sure if this is how you feel, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a zoned-out fog.Talking to people is often so hard and words just won't form in you're mouth no matter how hard you try? I think this is the worst part about depression, especially when people say "are you okay?". Remember you're not the only one and no matter how hard it is, this will not go away until you seek help. Another good tool is to exercise, exercise releases chemicals which relax your mind and can also help to bring you out of the depression. Hope this helps!
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