i think im depressed?

[kittyjack13]

Hi, im 15 and when i was 13my parents divorced and this had a big impact on my feelings, usually i would take things out by anger but also id keep things to myself. then at school i was bullied and got beaten up quite alot, and this made me i think depressed- i never left the house, stopped attending school, and i started to feel like i wanted to cry all the time, for no reason. Then, i moved schools and things started to look alot brighter, however i still had my down days. Then about 4 months ago i found out i was pregnant, i had been with my boyfriend about 4 months at the time and i told my mum everything. I had always been 100% against abortion but my boyfriends parents would of kicked him out... and i was too young to be a mum so i aborted my baby. it was discusting and i will never do it again. but i keep thinking about it and i try to talk to my boyfriend about it but he doesnt really understand coz he never came to any of the appointments, (also i had a scan and saw my babies heart beat and i think this made it worse) now i dont know what to do and i feel upset all the time, and no one understands. please help? ps counselling doesnt help i dont realy talk to people.

[Mieucamile]

Ooh, how poor you are :(
I felt sorry for your baby. But that's life babe. It's cruel..
You know.. You'r not alone. You have us here, you can talk to us if you wanted it. We'll always hear you :))

[silkything]

Oh poor you :-( You sound like you've been through an awful lot in the last two years, and you're probably reacting to everything. This is perfectly normal, but it does sound like you're suffering with symptoms of depression. You said counselling doesn't help... does that mean you've tried it? Talking can be hard, especially to someone you don't know very well. Have you tried writing it all down? How you're feeling or what you're thinking? Or drawing it, or singing it, or something that works for you. Just so you can let go of it and get it all out of you.
You're also possibly grieving; grieving for your baby, and grieving for what could have been. Again this is perfectly normal, but it *****. It hurts a lot.
Are you able to go and have a chat with your GP about how things are? Or is there a teacher or someone you trust you can talk to? There will probably be a lot of people who understand and can empathise with what you're going through. If you write it down, you might not have to break the initial very difficult barrier and talk, you can just give it to them to read. It's easier... I do that :)
Good luck, and let us know how you get on. I'll be thinking of you xxx