I'm a thirdteen year old, in my life i have already lost so many people in my life already. i was three years old when my grandmother died, six when my stepdad's stepdad died, nine years old when i lost my dad to sucide. and many more. I went to a counsler but that costs money that we don't have anymore. i have been bullied since i was in kingergarden. People at my school say their lifes would be better if i just killed myself just like my dad did. I have werid mood swings and i cry my self asleep every other nite. I don't know what to do... i've tried to killed myself but i always end up stopkping myself because i think about my half sister. She was only 11 months old when my dad died and i'm the only one lefted that truly knew how much my dad loved and adored her. Tell me what i should do please!!!
I think you know that taking your own life is NEVER the right choice. I believe that is why you have stopped yourself in the past. Your post sounds like MY life actually. My Dad was the youngest of 8 children. My mothers mother was the youngest in her family and my mom was an only child. I am the youngest child in my family - so pretty much everyone is/was older than me, even my cousins! It goes without saying that people I loved have been passing away as long as I can recall! Some of my earliest memories are going to funerals.
I lost my own mother shortly after turning 19 - from suicide. That's why I get a little 'worked up' when people mention taking their life. It is something I would NEVER consider. I would not ever put someone that cares about me through that. It takes more courage and strength to live! My mother has missed out on so-o much by leaving. No matter what she was going through, she should have reached out to someone for help. I don't feel sorrow when I think of her ... I feel anger. Instead of fighting for her life, she took the cowards way out - and she left a huge void behind and a great many people that cared about her.
Now all my aunts and uncles and even some older cousins have passed. I was very fortunate to have grown up in such a large and loving extended family! I have so many wonderful memories ... but I miss them all those incredible people that helped to make those memories! YOU also have memories to make sweetheart - for yourself, for your sister and for others that love you!
I know how hard life can be. When you are hurting, you don't realize that you aren't the only one feeling that way. Sometimes the people that are the meanest to you, are the ones that are carrying around the worst pain. Sometimes people are just snots and there isn't anything you can do about them, except to stop caring what they think of you. You ARE precious and unique. There is not another you anywhere! You need to care about yourself, be kind and patient with yourself.
Don't let your 'feelings' decide anything for you ... especially depressed feelings. I don't know if you believe in prayer ... but there IS a lot of power in it. I will keep you in mine! If you need to reach out, just send me a note or a message here at medhelp and I will answer! Take some deep breaths sweetie ... it DOES get better, really! I'll be thinking of you ...
Darling your letter made my heart melt<3 my heart goes out to you for being so strong and mature at such a young age. Depression is a scary thing when you have to deal with it pretty much alone. I am 20 and got diagnosed with bi polar at 18 and my life has been different to say the least. You have come so far in a such a short time it would be a sad for you too leave this world so soon. If you ever want a free talk session just comment back and we can chat:)
People say hurtful things hunny but trust me Obvi they don't know the impact of suicide on a family which is why they probly say that even people who seem like they have a reason to bother someone else it's always ciz they are troubled themselves you will grow up to be a strong willed beautiful young lady don't let what they say Hurt you!
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