what do you think i should do?

[howdoistop]

im 13 and i think i have depression. my mum died when i was 10 from cancer and my da had never been too bothered about me until then. he went to court on the day of my mums funeral to file for custody. he is abusive towards anyone who stands in his way and i managed to get permission to stay with my mum's mum. we dont get along and fight all the time, and i always seem to be the one causing it. everyone in the family takes my nans side and i have never felt more alone. i am beginning to enter the end of my teather and if things dont improve i dont know what ill do. what do you think? x

[mishymoshymarcy]

It's my pleasure. I am glad i could help. Hope you feel better soon. x :)

[howdoistop]

thankyou so much! ive decided im going to give counselling another try and my nan will be (reluctantly) coming with me. our whole family was affected by the happenings and i am determined to try and help as much as i can, thanks for replying x

[mishymoshymarcy]

Hello. I am so sorry to read about your mum. That is incredibly sad. ..
I would just like to start off with saying i can relate in someway to your problem. To the feeling alone one.I am 13 as well and everytime i get into arguments with my family, everyone and i mean EVERYONE take my mums side, or my grandmas side. I believe that the only reason they do that, is because they are grown-ups and we are teenager/ children still. Maybe you should start by trying to figure out what you did or said wrong. I always used to refuse the fact that it was me who started the argument. Most of the time it was me, but whenever it wasn't  it would be my grandma if she was in a bad mood. And my grandma can be VERY affensive and rude when it comes to arguments. She got carried away sometimes and said whatever she wanted to me. It was always my fault.
So anyway what i am trying to say is, put yourself in THIER shoes for a little while. Are they very stressed people, running arounf with a million things to do. Do they or did they have some hardships in thier past? Things that may cause them alot of pain emotionally. Causing them lots of anger maybe? And i would assume losing a daughter/mother would be very difficult... So maybe try considering that. You also could have a little talk to them on how you are feeling, it may help.
I went through a stage where i was incredibly depressed. I felt useless and helpless, and most of it was because my grandma took out all her pain on me seeing i am an only child. She was abused by her father when she was young, and that caused her to be the woman she is today. She has now been diagnose with parkinsons disease, and also had to deal with my grandad who has dementia (who is now in a nursing home).
Well anyway enough about me and my family, the point is that the may have a few problema of thier own that may be affecting the way they act around you.
I wish you luck. Please don't hesitate to reply if you have any further questions. I hoep i have helped a little...I wish you luck!