For as long as I can remember I have been hitting myself in my face. First, I get really upset and become crazy like as if I am possessed by the devil and then start hitting myself on my right side of my face usually. I do this with a closed fist usually and smack my face as well repeatly! I feel very angry and possesed like in a way? But, there have also been times I have hit men whom I was in relationships with and when I mean hit them, I punch them hard! I even caused one guy to have to go the the hospital to get 6 stiches. Its crazy! And out of control. I'm so sick of it and all I do is blame God and beg to him why is he torchering me and if it isn't him, then I start to blame the devil for it? I know it sounds crazy, but its all true...I have been to a phychotherapist a few years back and I have also been in the physch unit because I called the police on myself and threatened sucide. I've been on medications, but nothing seems to help me. And back in 2005 I was diagnosed with Graves Disease (thyroidism). I feel hopeless and at times beg God to strike me dead. But, I feel very strongly inspite of everything wrong I still feel like I'm a good decent beautiful, bright woman who has been damaged. I'm 30 years old., but I feel like I just can't make it in this so called life of mine. And to put the icing on the cake to my story...Get ready for this one, The phychotherapist that I mentioned above who I saw on a regular for 3 years, well we live together for the last 2 years. Its crazy and I know.
I acknowledge it all. I just can't help myself. Its sad. I've gone to people and friends for help, but maybe they just didn't take me seriouly. Coz, really I'm a good person, I swear to God and on my fathers grave...I make effort and I keep getting knocked back down and I'm just worn down and the only thing that has kept me alive is a pothead guy friend of mine whom I sit around with everyday and when he needs me and smoke pot with him and I buy the weed, the blunts, my gas, pick him up, take care of him to make sure he has everything he needs as well as I. And how do I get the money for these things, well I have multiple relationships going on with other men who I ask for money and they give it to me. Its just crazy. But, I'm still doing all these things! When I had jobs, I always end up sabataging them by getting upset and hitting myself! I need help I can't live like this. Its not me. I want Me back...
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.