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What causes this?
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What causes this?

I wasn't entirely certain if I should ask this on Teen Depression or Teen Health, but I figured I'd post here, seeing as this is a Mental Health Inquiry.

Anyway, I'm a 14 year old female with a diagnosis of Aspergers, OCD, ADHD, as well as a 5 year depression.

Recently, within the past year or so, I've unintentionally become more violent. I lash out at others with the intent to harm, even at pets, yet I always manage to stop myself. I often sit alone, usually with contempt, and begin as others would put it, laughing “manically” or even “desperately”. I can't seem to control the laughter, just as I can't control lashing out at others.
I rarely seem to experience emotion anymore, and when I do, it's anger or sadness.
I also have extreme difficulty trusting others, and frequently feel as if I'm being watched, both things occuring on an everyday basis.
Anyway, based on what I know, these things appear to stretch beyond most typical “hormonal issues” experienced by teenagers.
I was also molested, as well as verbally abused as a child, and am unsure if either of those things may or may not have an impact on what I'm currently experiencing.
In addition, I've currently seen 3 school counselors, and 3 therapists at this point.

Any insight or help is appreciated at this point.
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I am sorry that despite seeing school counselors and therapists you continue to suffer. This could in part be due to the fact that your thought process has not been correctly comprehended and hence not treated properly through counseling. Also, you probably need to either start medications or adjust the dose of medications that you are on. And, yes, childhood traumas and abuse do affect your psychological and mental growth. You should at this stage consult a psychiatrist. Please ask your therapist set up an appointment. Take care!

The medical advice given should not be considered a substitute for medical care provided by a doctor who can examine you. The advice may not be completely correct for you as the doctor cannot examine you and does not know your complete medical history. Hence this reply to your post should only be considered as a guiding line and you must consult your doctor at the earliest for your medical problem.
From what I have been through I would guess the way you deal with your past now, is to try and forget about it. Is that so?
I hate the idea of talking to people about my problems, when I do it's impossible to get any sort of therapeutic help unless I am in the midst of feeling extremely depressed.
It's not surprising, I think, that you have problems with trust and lashing out. I also understand the emotional apathy. Of course my experiences are not the same as yours so what helped me may not help you...
The only way I found any sort of peace and a return to normalcy in my life was when I recommitted to religion. I found that gradually as I strengthened my spirituality I discovered ways to deal with the emotional stress I always have underneath the surface. I would have recommended talking to a therapist, but I can see you've already gone through that. Maybe yoga or meditation will help if you are not fond of religion or spirituality? This is the only advice I can think of right now. If you need a friend, or someone to listen to you, I would be happy to.
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