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Avatar universal

16 and pregnant...

I'm just curious to know about how many people watch this show. Do you watch 16 and pregnant? or do you watch teen mom? Do you think they accurately portray what it is like to be a teen mother? Also how old are you? I'm looking for people's views on these types of shows. Any opinions/input would be be appreciated. thanks.
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Avatar universal
Good for you countrygirlforever916. It's always a good idea to make sure you have a stable life first before bringing another life into this world. It's definitely not easy being a teen mom and you'll hear plenty of stories about that. I've known many teen moms who all wish they would have waited to start a family. They love their children, but they also missed out on prom, the college experience, on getting married and having time with just their husband, on going on vacation and not worrying about all the baby gear to bring along, on just going on a date with their guy and not worrying about finding a baby sitter. Life changes a lot after having a baby and many girls/women don't understand that until after it happens.

Of course age does not always go hand and hand with maturity, but if you think you are mature now, just wait a few years and then look back on yourself and you'll see you weren't as mature as you thought. I thought I was mature when I 18 and I probably was for my age, but me then compared to now is a different person and I've continued to mature more. Also, a hard childhood doesn't mean you are ready for a baby or will mean you will be a good mother. I will never advocate for teen pregnancy and never say it's ok. I do wish the best for people and hope that they will make something of themselves first and then bring a child into the world. It brings a much more stable life for the child when the parent is an adult and out of their teens, hopefully married and into a career.
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1564517 tn?1314346323
I did not read all of the comments but to me its maturity that determine if your ready to be a parent. Not age. I know a lot of older people that are still kids themselves and shouldnt be parents. Everyone has different experiences in their life. Some of us grow up faster than others. Some peoples goal in life is to make money and have a good job and live there life in the cliché order. And others of us dream about being a mom. Some of us dont feel like were missing out on being a mom at a younger age only gaining a lot. Not that I'm saying i dont draw the line in my mind at how young someone should be also. Just in the end its all a personal choice even if some of us dont agree with the choices of another person.
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1711414 tn?1308284712
I believe these show just how hard it is, wiether it be trying to get the father to step up and be in the childs life or eliminating the father for good reasons.. I have watched 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom, & Teen Mom 2 and both me and my mother (who is in her late 40's) both agree, as my mom was in this situation. She had a baby at 16 the father denyed his daughter, then my moms daughter died On July 4th, when she was only 6 months old. She had a very supportive mother as do some of the girls on the show.
I love the shows and I am glad that they show just how hard it is to raise a child at a young age, as I wanted a baby young as well, then i heard stories and seen these shows and decided that i wanted to make something on my life first
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Avatar universal
I'm glad to hear she is doing well. I watched my cousin go through teen pregnancy and raising a baby young. It's very difficult to do. What bothers me about the show, is that it tends to glamorize the idea of being pregnant young. The teen moms get paid a lot and get to be on magazine covers, tv interviews, etc. All things that make it seem "cool" to other teens. I have younger cousins that are now getting into high school and I worry about them. Especially one of them who loves the show and thinks of it as cool to be a young mom and seem "mature" by having a baby, even though that is not mature. I hope she can see the truth in that waiting to have children will be really beneficial to her.
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203342 tn?1328737207
My daughter and I have watched the show. I think the boys portrayed are more immature than the girls and usually skip out on them.
I do think it's so hard to have to grow up so quickly being a teen mom. Some do better than others. It helps if they get support.
My 18 year old daughter has an almost 7 month old baby. She has really grown up a lot this last year, finished high school, is working and taking care of this baby. She doesn't really go out and has lost most of her friends. But she's very doting and caring to the baby and works hard to take care of him. She's the only one who ever got up with him at night and all. She bought her own car and buys most things he needs. We do help some when needed. I wish circumstances had been different but this is the hand we were dealt with and she's doing a beautiful job, all considering. She rededicated her life to God and is working hard to do the best job she can now.
Oh, and she tells girls her age or younger every chance she gets to wait, be careful and she tells them how hard being a teen mom really is.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
Ill think about it.
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Avatar universal
I say rarely as in it's highly unlikely... meaning this case is also highly unlikely she's ready. Most are not considered the exception and I do not consider her to be the exception.

I'm sorry you've had bead experiences with doctors, but they are there for a reason. If you wait til last minute and it turns out to be serious, you have then made it worse for yourself. If you don't like your pcp, then find a new one. But do go to the doctors if something is wrong or you don't feel right.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
You just said it, Rarely. It is not common, but there are always exceptions. And the whole doctor thing is a matter of preference. I will go, but at the last possible moment. I have seen doctors misdiagnose people and they end up dying. I have no faith in doctors. I am talking about General Practitioners. Specialist, i have much respect for.

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Avatar universal
It's good to really think through decisions, but rarely is someone at age 19 truly ready, even if they have had more life experience than others. I don't agree with giving specialized treatment to some teens, because everyone will claim to have more life experience and that they are "ready" even when they are not. Maybe she is ready and maybe she isn't, but either way, I still don't find having a baby young to be a great move.

mmm... self-diagnosing can be very dangerous. It's not a good idea to think you know what is wrong with you because with some illnesses, certain symptoms can be missed or overlooked by you that a doctor will find. It's good to be well-informed about your own health, but nothing should replace a doctor.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
Ok. I agree with that. I never said that being out of school, having money saved and a career wouldn't help in the short and long run. And no, life experiences won't fully determine if someone can be a good parent, but in certain individuals, it can. The decision that was made was thought about on a different level than another 19 year old that has not experienced anything or the life experiences did not affect them in the same way. Her life has seem to make her more aware of her decisions and what that entails. She did not just decide oh well I want a bay, because they are cute or the belly is cute or I want someone to love me or any of the other reasons that most teens think about when they decide to get pregnant at 16. Your not wrong in you opinion of waiting. But, it just didn't apply in her situation. I don't know how else to say it. If it were a different person and situation, oh best believe I would be saying the same stuff you are. It just wasn't like that.

That's why I don't go to doctors!!!! :) But when you think about it, if you go for just different common things, you already know whats wrong they just give you the term and then charge you a copay. Now Im not talking about life threatning things or things having to do with the male and female reproduction system. Or I mean I will go to the doctor if I just can't seem to figure out whats wrong with me. But for the most part, I can diagnose myself. But thats a completely different topic. :))
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Avatar universal
Life experiences can help, but doesn't make a person "ready" for having a baby. Having things set up will help to make a person be ready, like being out of school, having money saved up, being in a career, etc. Those things really help in the short and long run.

If doctors are crap and you already know what is wrong with you, then why even go to the doctor's office? You obviously seem to know more than them... since they are only giving you a medical term for what you already know.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
Like I said, you probably wouldn't have been able handle. Did I say you wouldn't be able to handle it, no. I said probably. I can't tell you if you could or not cause quite frankly I knnow nothing about you. I respct the fact that you feel that saying that everyone should wait till they are in thier 20' and 30's to have kids and live their life kid free while that are teenagers. I agree. I don't know how many times I have to say that. Waiting is good, but if you see someone who is 19 and has more going for her than most 30 yr olds and has that stability and is able to provide and her fiance' is able to provide for their baby, then why not just be like well you seem to have it all together. Congratulations on your baby and I wish you all nothing but the best and leave it at that instead of everytime you are told, I can do this or I know how much, or I know, you always come back with more negativity. The girl is already pregnant so your abstinence and wait platform really doesn't apply. Your not talking her out of anything cause she already is. That's why I was defending her. Thought I was done talking about this, but I guess not.

And some situations, statistics are factual. Like i said, I'm not saying all statistics arent factual, but you would be surprised at how many arent. As far as the the whole Medical doctor statistic thing you said in the previous post, I quite frankly think doctors are crap. Well Not all doctors. You go to the doctor cause you are sick. You tell the doctor whats wrong with you cause you are describing to them what's wrong. You already know they are just giving you the medical term.
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Avatar universal
Statistics have a factual basis, otherwise they would not be used by the medical community or anyone else. There is a reason why they are used and they show the numbers of just how many teens get pregnant. Also, I'm not just stating what I think, I'm using examples and experiences of other young mothers. It's good to learn from other people's mistakes, and I've been doing that. After watching so many young mothers drop out of school, I realized it wasn't a good idea to get pregnant before graduating. Also throw in the statistical numbers to back that up and you have some strong evidence to prove that point. A lot of people think that they are the 'exception' and they are so different from everyone else. Though in reality, you are special, just like everybody else.

Just about everyone has had some sort of struggle, so to say that only so and so knows what it is like is pretty far from the truth. We have all had to deal with some sort of struggle or adversity. That doesn't mean that they are ready to handle more difficult situations though. You can claim that I 'probably wouldn't be able to handle it', but really you don't know if I can or if anyone else can. It's nice that you want to save people and defend anyone who is the underdog, but that doesn't always make it right to do. I respect your opinion, but don't agree with it.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
So its not twisted, let me clarify. She will have a hard time in the sence that every new mom has a hard time getting used to the demands a newborn brings. But I have no doubt that she will not have a hard time when it comes to providing and loving her child. She will have a hard time dealing with the fact that people like you who seem to think that everyone should wait till they are in the 20's and 30's to have babies will  throwing that in her face constantly. I should have claryfied what I meant. And I did not say all statistics were made up. I am just saying that a lot of them really don't have a factual basis. Take that statement however you want to. I really don't care. Call me a name like naive. Don't care that just shows me a little more of your make up. Reading some of your other post, you just seem engative and biased when it come to this topic.  I hope and pray that sh edoesn't have the hard time that you talk about cause well that would just be awesome although I still think that you will be on your soapbox about it.

Anyhoo. I am done talking about her. She will suceed. She will have a hard time the first few weeks getting on a schedule and whatnot with a newborn, but she will not struggle to do what she has to do to provide financially and emotionally for her family. Just cause you more than likely wouldn't be able to handle it doesn't mean that she will struggle.

And about not having sympathy for those girls, I mean for the girls that know that they can get get pregnant if they have sex and they purposely do while they are still living with mommy and daddy, and then want to ***** and complain that they dont have a social life anymore, sorry no sympathy for them, but the ones that they honestly did not have the education or it just happened, I feel for them a little.
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Avatar universal
The statistics are made up?? sorry, but what would make you think that? Also, you just said yourself that you don't doubt she will have a hard time, yet said how do I know she will have a hard time. You really are not making any sense here. I know she will have a hard time as well, not only because of statistics, but because of what all other mothers on here have said, plus watching family and friends who have gone through this themselves.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
Question: How do you even know how hard it will be for her? You have no kids and dont' any right now and your basing your opinion off of others that are struggling which is fine. But how do you know she will have a hard time and regret the timing. You don't. Just like I don't know that she won't have a hard time. A lot of the statistics are made up. If she is anything like I think she is, she is going to make it have a ball raising her baby, because society's view and biased opinion is going to be the driving force in her quest to prove yall wrong. I have no doubt that she will have hard times, but I don't think for one second that she will regret her child or the timing considering she thought about this long and hard before making that decision.
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Avatar universal
Yes, she is making the best of the situation, though she has no idea just how tough it will be once she is trying to balance going to school with a new born. There are reasons as to why so many people push women to wait to have children. To wait until they are out of school, to wait until they have a steady career(not just a job), etc. All of these things really help in the long run. The stability of having a career and making enough money to live comfortably is a good idea. Being out of school is also something to try to do because classes and having a newborn don't mix well(I'm in college and see this a lot). High numbers of new mothers drop out of school. Also she hasn't 'done it before' because she hasn't had children of her own before. Raising a sibling or family member is different from raising your own child, as not only I have said, but everyone else on here. I would rather tell someone it's going to be very difficult, then to down play it and say everything is going to be alright. It may very well end up being fine and things can be worked out, but statistically that tends to not happen. I'm just being realistic.  

Also, I have sympathy for any teen who gets pregnant. They miss out on so much in life because of one bad decision or bad mistake. Most do not know better and didn't get the sex education that they probably should get. That's why you see post after post on here about possible pregnancies, of wondering if pre-ejaculation has sperm in it or if you can get pregnant doing this or that. They sadly, really don't know how it all works. Others think it will be fun or that they can handle it and want a baby, then they get a rude awakening when reality sets in. It's not easy sailing for any young mother. With time, people get more stable and more money saved up. They can then better handle having a baby. Even if a person is mature enough to have a baby as a teen, I still would not advise her to go through with it. It's a lot easier to focus in school without a baby, it's also easier to get a career without a baby, etc. I've always said that part of maturity is putting yourself into favorable positions and not making yourself struggle. I feel bad for the ones who struggle through raising a child as a teen, because if they had waited just a few more years it would have been that much easier to do/handle.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
I know life challenges doesn't automatically make a person a great mom, but it can give them an advantage in how to handle the emotional and physical stress of raising a new baby.

A healthy debate is a form of healthy conflict. Conflict can be good. I know why I like conflict. Do I go out and try and find unhealthy conflict, no. Do I go out and try to find healthy conflict, no. But I will never back way from the healthy confilct. And yes there is such a thing. I have only been involved in healthy debates (conflicts).

"I jumped on her side". Um yeah I would say thats an accurate statement, because no one on this thread really backed her and made her feel like Wow, I have some genuine people on here that know my story and are happy for me that I made it and am making it and that I am pregnant with such a wonderful little blessing. Oh and the fact that do agree with her. She has said that this decision is not right for everyone her age, but it is for her. Yes, I do believe that teens should wait until they have a job, married and a stable environment before they decide to have a baby. You are right in that fact, but there are always exceptions to every rule or norm and she is one of them. She has a stable job, she is going to school to better that career choice she has made (and she knows how hard it will be rasing a kid while working and going to school cause um yeah she did it already), she said that she has a house, means of transportation, and an awesome fiance'. Why instead of constantly telling her its going to be hard and are you sure you can do this and that and do you really know what its going to be like cause I don't think you do, we sit back and realize that she has alot going for her and that all the reasons why you feel she should have waited, she has already accomplished the vast majority of those. Not every 19 year old is thinking, oh I want to experience college and partying (not saying that you do cause you said that you don't in a previous post), and want to be free and able to do whatever whenever. I know she doesn't think like that and I sure as hell didnt think like that at that age and still don't. I knew at 17 that my priorites went like this and they would never change: God, Family, Work, Fun, School. You may have the same priorities, but in a different order. That's awesome and that works for you. I do hope that you get everyting out of your college experience that you want and that you enjoy your 20's and rest of your life the way you want.

Yes, there are teens out there that think its so cute to have belly's and ababues and have no idea what they are about to get themselves into. Teen pregnancy is way tooo high now a days and its not really even teen pregnancy cause 11-12 year olds are having babies. Some of these kids that are having sex and get pregnant truly don't know anything about sex and all the consequense. Small percentage, but nonetheless, there are some that aren't educated. But the others that have no life expeirence and think mommy and daddy are going to help them and all that jazz, I have no sympathy for them cause they knew better. But there are some 18-19 yearolds that get married and have babies at that age because they have sat down and really thought about it. Give them some credit. Hiltonvslohan is one of those that thinks.  

I never said that you have never told her that you hope her realationship works out. What I said was from what I read on this thread, you have yet to genuinely congratulate her on having a baby.
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Avatar universal
I apologize for using you as an example. Though you have to know that anything you post in a public forum can be used. I have also used my own family as well and my cousin has been in your position, pregnant at 19 and gave birth at 20. They are married now and struggle a lot with their relationship and raising a baby at a young age while still trying to work and go to school. She regrets the timing of having the baby young and can only take one class a semester because it's a lot more work than she expected. I always stay on her about staying in school because all too many young mothers drop out and I would hate to see that happen. I do wish you the best of luck in making it work.  
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Avatar universal
Having a tough life doesn't automatically make you a good mom. And if you like conflict, you might want to look into that as to why you do. I can't think of any way to make that seem healthy. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I am not against her and have told her I hope that her relationship works out and they make it. I used her situation as an example, along with other people like my cousins. There are many examples that can be used of how many of these relationships get hit hard because of extra stress from teen pregnancy. I can think of at least 6 people off the top of my head, when there should be none. It's no easy road to take. I said to take a step back because you automatically jumped onto a side of the debate without knowing all of the information. It's a good idea to look at the whole picture/story before saying this is the right thing.
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1510919 tn?1298825067
what gives you the right to bring my personal business into your debate? thats something personal i posted somewhere else and it wasn't a piece of something for you to go around sharing with the whole world so you can one-up somebody else in an arguement, very mature. You sit there and talk about me and you don't know me, I gave you a sliver of my life and you've continued to judge me. Your not judging or stating ur opinion your bashing me. Grow up. That information was none of your business in the first place and if YOU MUST know that was a one time situation. That does not constitute us as having problems. You dont know him so don't sit there and trash talk him either. i have a strong foundation in my relationship trust me. I wouldn't be bringing a child into a bad situation my dear, unlike these little girls running around getting knocked-up Ive thought this over for years k? step off of me and go find someone else to sit behind your computer and talk about. I had respect for stating your opinion and all but you've completly lost it. You used my presonal info to gain an upper hand so you thought and you sat there and trash talked about me for hours with stuff you have no clue about, very immature and very junior high. You have alot of growing up to do still. I can be defensive becasue all of you have been bad mouthing me for quite some time now and you have no right to do so. So please take your rude comments and no good talk to someone who truly cares.
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1287017 tn?1537898943
I'm not defensive. Iove a good back and forth of opinions. I never said that you couldn't handle anything worse than this or however you put it. I just find it funny how you think everyone is defensive. Can't we just he having a friendly debate without being defensive in your book. I was just saying, don't call people out about things if we didn't say that or you just did something you called someone else out for. That was all. I love debates and things like this. I like conflict. I get some sick twisted satisfaction from it. I'm sorry that your cousin is having to go
through this.

I'm an saying that it sounds like your bashing her decision, because if I have read eveything correctly, you havent really congratulated her on being pregnant. Something a a mother no matter how old wants and needs to hear. Based off this thread, there is no proof that her fiancé still is controlling her so.....

Oh and once again, I want to make sure this fact comes across clear. I don't need to learn to step back from anything. I know how to handle myself and choose my battles. I'm not defensive nor do I have anything to prove you or anyone else on here. I'm just saying don't call people naive when you really know nothing about a person. I wouldn't call you anything like that and I would just like the same respect.
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Avatar universal
You sound extremely defensive and no one is bashing anyone. It's a statement of opinions. If you can't handle opinions, then you need to learn to step back and let things roll off your back. You will get more harsh comments from other people than you are getting on here right now. I could care less if you don't agree with me or are 'harsh', I've handled much worse than any of this. I don't see anyone forcing anything down people's throats, only stating experiences and advice for others, so that they can avoid mistakes and not have regret. That's part of being on a forum is to get advice and help. We're talking about avoiding bad situations. I've stated a number of times, that I do hope her relationship works out and they can be good parents. Though because of a thread she had written before about problems with a v-neck shirt and her fiance, I think she's going to run into a number of problems once the baby is here. The stress of having to raise a baby puts extra stress onto a relationship, and if it already has problems, then they'll get just that much worse. I really hope they can work out their relationship before the baby gets here, otherwise it will be extremely hard. My cousin got knocked up at 18 and her and her fiance fight constantly. As "ready" as they thought they were, really they had no idea. My cousin is a lot like hiltonvslohan, with a similar background and current situation, well ahead of her, as she has already given birth. And I see all of the problems that go on between them. She regrets it a lot about the timing of when she had her son. He's the cutest guy and very well loved, but it's caused her many problems. Like the saying of "good things come to those who wait", it does ring true for many things. There is no set back for waiting to have children, it can only be good.(not saying to wait for decades, but for a few years). A strong foundation, in a relationship, is essential to really making it all work.  
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1287017 tn?1537898943
Too sweetpea03 and clysta.

let's just agree to have differences of opinions. Im not saying that sweetpea03 doesn't have a grasp on life. She seems like a very smart young lady. I might have been a little harsh, but i am one for voicing your opinions,but also making sure that you aren't forcing them on people.Im just saying, I have the same mindset as Hilton...... So instead of beating her decision down, lets just offer support. I mean hell what's the point of beating a opinion to death when she is already pregnant. No need to make her feel like crap for making a decision that works for her just because you don't agree with it or think it would work for you. Everybody is different.

Penswriter, I agree with you. And I have personally message hilton... and she is by no means saying that Teen Pregnancy is awesome or advocating it. She is just saying that she knows that its going to be hard, but its the right decision for her.
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