hi, you posted and asked for some suggestions and they were given to you. not quite sure what you wanted to hear. i also read about your attempted suicides. you are a depressed, very hurting girl, looking for love and acceptance. you dont want to tell anybody about your attempts, "because you would get put in a hospital" well maybe that is what you need right now. you need intense counseling. life is no walk in the park, there will always be sad, depressing things that happen but you need to learn how to deal with them. trying to kill yourself and having sex obviously arent making you any happier just sadder, so try something new. talk to a therapist, go to church, talk to your parents and tell them that you need help, get on anti-depressant meds. you can use the analogy about life as this...
it is a rosebush with thorns or a thornbush with roses, the glass is half full or half empty. you need hope , i know my hope, faith and trust comes from the LORD, ask HIM to give you some too. believe me it works. at 54 have had many,many heartaches. you first need to like who you are, have some self esteem, some self worth. dont know maybe your parents treat you terrible, they are addicts, they abuse you, whatever it is. you need to live with yourself and your decisions , so please find an adult you trust and talk to them about all of your issues, please find a church to go to, talk to a pastor. you need hope and you will find it there.
praying for you,
debbie
You know, in all of this what concerns me the most is the fact that you would see suicide as one of your best options. I have to wonder what is happening in your life that you would even consider that as a choice at all.
Here is the thing. Abortion is a really big decision that can have life altering consequences. I am completely pro choice, but think that for most it is more a last resort. You don't want to start using it as a method of birth control. It sounds to me like you already are having issues with depression. Being in a situation where you might have to make a choice like that is pretty heavy stuff and a position you do want to avoid if you can.
Here is the best advice I can give you. Is there any medical professional in your life you can have a confidential conversation with? You need to be discussing the best birth control options available to you. I also strongly strongly urge you to speak to the same professional about your suicidal thoughts. Your so young and whatever is going on now won't last forever.
I have to say I agree you are too young to be having sex. However, if that is the choice you are making, please make sure you do think it through.Even with birth control, use a condom as a back up. Any guy that really cares about you will want you to protect yourself...there are some nasty diseases out there. Pregnancy, regardless of the choice you make is not "reversible" it's just changable if that makes any sense. And the emotional aftermath of an abortion can be alot to handle. And of course suicide is final.
Wow this is heavy stuff.
All i can suggest is to take the pill correctly. It is 99.8% effective when taken the right way and really if it does happen when you are on it you are either very unlucky or very lucky.
Also if you really would like to avoid pregnancy learn how to track your ovulation. Wether it be by cervical mucus or temping. The when you know you are around ovulating time use double protection. A condom or diaphram with spermicide.
It shows that if you believe suicide is a way out of pregnanct proves to me you have not thought your life through and I hope IF you are ever put in that situation you would consider adoption.
I wish you all best in your future.
And now you sound like a troll trying to get a stir from everyone. Or wanting a pity party.
Lol yea I figured it would get more attention and answers if I put my age in.
Everyone is right :P I don't want to stop (therefore I don't trust myself to and wanted to hear other people's ideas...) I realized I'm probly wishing I get pregnant so I can have yet another reason to kill myself .__. Which is why I risk and don't care enough to stop having sex- because I realllyyy don't care about life.
Thanks for the comments and I don't want any anti-suicide ones.
yes I agree dont tell them your age, aboration is already a touchy suject and put in your age in the mix, everyone is going to sound like your mom! But keep in mind that even thou a condom doesnt feel good to him or its too hard for u take a pill every morning, a aboration is over a $2000.00 procedure and you have to get a legal guardian to come and sign paper work with u if under 18 yrs, at the aboration clinc, and you will realize how ruff they are on you once you wake up from the aboration they really dont want u to make the same choice twice, just think about that, where would you get that kind of money, I dont have that kind of money to toss on something on that when u could of been spending it on your self, And the state wont help under those conditions, Plus why let some scumbag kid have sex with you, its your body even thou your hormones are crazy right now, think about STD's too, there gross and some can kill, I hope you try to make the right choices. Good Luck :-)
There are other options, in which the best of those would be to stop having sex. You are only 14 years old and should really focus on school and preparing for your future. An abortion is no walk in the park and it has lasting effects both physically and emotionally. Abstinence right now is the best thing for you. I waited to have sex until I was 20, not because of religion, but because I didn't want to screw up my future. You are in control of your own life and should make good decisions for yourself or you will have to pay the consequences. If you continue to have risky sex, you will have a much harder life than you ever imagined. Take control of your life now and start making better decisions.
lets remember that some people are here for advice and not lectured how they live their life. MelancholyMoo i recommend you not tell people your age when wanting a questioned answered anymore.
There was peer pressure back in my teen days and guess what...I said no. I made that CHOICE to not have sex. To not put myself at risk for pregnancy and STD's.
Again like Clysta said you're just making excuses to keep doing it. If you don't want to get pregnant...don't do it. Birth control and condoms are NOT 100% effective. I have quite a few friends and family that have gotten pregnant using just b/c, just condoms or both. You don't have to dress provocatively. You don't have to "please men sexually". You can say no. You can use self-control.
I CHOSE when to get pregnant. When I was old enough. When I was in a stable relationship. ( we were engaged). If you don't want to risk pregnancy...say no. Don't do it. and learn self control.
No, it's not that you don't think you could stop. It's that you don't want to. Just because others do it doesn't mean you have to. As humans we have self control. What you've said is nothing more than an excuse, which in turn means an abortion would be nothing more than a convenience for you so you can continue your chosen lifestyle. There ARE other options, you just also don't want to do them. Part of becoming in adult is to take responsibility for the actions you CHOOSE to make. Not make up excuses and say you did it because of "peer pressure".
Eh well most 12 year olds are having sex or exploring sexual activities in this society. I don't think I could just stop, even though abstinance is the only real pregnancy preventer. The brain puts out crazy shiz when horny; there's no consequences when you're in the mood. I don't trust myself to have that much self control. Plus peer pressure and all the pressure put on girls to look nice and please men sexually, but I won't get into that :P
Thanks for the comments
Like Clysta said...stop having sex...problem solved. Why are you so worried about having sex at 14? If you don't want the worry of getting pregnant...don't do it.
if you are on birth control just back it up with condoms and be extra safe not to get pregnant, then this whole worry thing you are doing can be avoided. If worse came to it, there is a lot of counseling done out there to help you after you have an abortion, but don't count on that if you can't even afford one in the first place, just make sure you cover your bases and don't get pregnant and by being on birth control sounds like so far you are doing that. good luck.
If you don't want children the answer is plain and simple. Stop having sex. Abortion isn't just a quick fix to pregnancy and suicide doesn't solve anything. You're also 14. WHY are you having sex. You're still a child. Live life and stop worrying about things that no child should.