This patient support community is for discussions relating to pregnancy concerns for teens, ages 13-17. Please note, this community is not intended to discuss how to conceive. Questions regarding this will be removed.
Hi. I'm seventeen and five weeks pregnant. (I don't know exactly. My doctors appointment is Thursday.) My boyfriend and i have been together for two years plus some. He's nineteen. I'm scared and have cried for days. I feel like he supports me more with getting an Abortion then to keep or baby.. I'm so nervous. I want to keep my baby.. How can i express this to him? He says its my choice and he will stick with what i choose but... I feel like he just doesn't want the baby.. My parents don't know yet. We both have jobs working part time. I'm still in high school. Im a junior. He's a in college. What should i do? How can i make him change his mind??????? HELP.
Sweetheart, you don't have a boyfriend problem, you have a pregnancy problem. Of course a 19-year-old is going to be shocked and astonished at learning he is going to be a dad, and if you come at him with a load of expectations (even that he would be glad to be a dad) he is not going to react with unbridled joy. You can't make him change his mind, he wasn't even thinking this was a possibility in his life until he was an adult, and I can guarantee he doesn't think that time is now.
All you can do is make your plans as though you are going to be single. You might be able to get child support from him, but he's still a baby himself in a lot of ways emotionally, so don't expect emotional support.
Babies aren't pets or toys, they are a ton of work. So if you want to keep the child, set up some plans. They should include:
- Where you will live for the next many years -- an apartment? Your family home? How do your mom and dad feel about that?
- What money will you live on? Do you have a job? Does it retain employees who are pregnant or just give them the pink slip?
- What kind of financial capacity does the boyfriend have? Does he have a job?
- If you intend to work, who will watch the baby? How much does daycare cost in your area? Do they take babies?
- Will you be able to go on to college? How will that work, where will you live, who till take care of the baby, who will pay your tuition?
I am sorry you have been crying for days, but the problem is not your boyfriend, even if he has failed to step up like Prince Charming and whisk you away to domestic bliss. Please understand that having a plan will help, and creating one will also let you make the adoption decision if you see it has to be made.
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