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I'm really scared with the delivery
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I'm really scared with the delivery

Hi, I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I'm sooooooooooo scared about the delivery that I can't get it off my mind!!
I've prepared myself for it, I took the Courses, read the book's, talked to moms, teenage moms and everything but I'm still scared! Everytime I feel the slightest pain in the lower abdomen I freak out..!!
I've been torturing myself lately by watching "delivery room" on Discovery home and health!!!
I know it hurts but Is it that bad? I still don't know if I'm going to get an epidural because of the hospital policies here in Colombia.. But can you pleaaaaaase tell me about your experiences with delivery?? Did it hurt too much? Did you feel the episiotomy?...
Thanks
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23 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
what do you mean by the hospital policies in colombia...what would they be exactly?

i had a horrible c section but a short labor with a couple of complications.

i would recomened a epidurula AND SOMETHING ELSE
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Avatar_f_tn
Try not to watch those delivery shows...LOL, I think they freak everyone out.
Please dont be afraid of delivery!  I wont lie, it does hurt, but it is nothing you cant handle.  Once it is all done you will feel more empowered than ever.  I was in labor 21.5 hours and pushed 2 hrs.  I had an epidural, which helped when they had to give me pictocin to speed up contractions.  However, they turned it off right when I started pushing...which would have been fine if I only push 1 hr.  So I would say mine was somewhat a unmedicated delivery.  The pushing part didnt hurt for me.  The only part that was painful was when the babies head was at its widest....that literally only lasts minutes.  Once it gets past that you are so euphoric...the best feeling in the world!  Then you get to hold your beautiful baby!
I didnt have an episiotomy, but I did rip a little....didnt feel a thing when that happened.
Good luck and seriously practice your breathing...LOL, I thought it was a joke and I wouldnt need to do it.  But it helps slow you down and push harder.
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187316_tn?1386360282
I think everyone is scared about delivery. My whole pregnancy I tried not to think about it and when my water randomly broke at 38 weeks I started crying because I was scared and felt like I wasn't ready. Went to the hospital and had to be induced since I wasn't having contractions (standard policy is baby has to be born within 18 hours after your water breaks or you risk the chance of infection). Honestly I'm not going to lie... cramps HURT but once they allow you to start pushing you can't even feel them because it feels good to push. As for episiotomy I felt it but it didn't hurt since I had an epidural and just wanted to get her out of me at that point and probably would of done anything. But honestly its over before you know it and holding your newborn baby is pretty much the best feeling in the world. I wish you the best of luck and can honestly say that those tv shows make it look a lot worse than it really is.
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529440_tn?1232117305
Its really not that bad because you dont think about the pain once you start to push because you are just working on getting the baby out. I had an epidural with my first but it didnt work and my son had to be pushed back in and turned around with forceps because he got stuck and that was the worst part but I really dont even remember how bad the pain was i was just glad that i had my baby.
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Avatar_f_tn
the only reason i didnt go into my labor is because it might scare her.
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545608_tn?1218131355
_Here in Colombia hospitals do not give epidurals to everyone..It's really complicated.. For example if you ask for it before you reaCh 6cms they won't give to you, with that I  mean that during the WHOLE labor they won't.!! kindda like a punishment.. And in other cases they just encourage you to deliver the baby without it. Just this year a congress woman deliver a bill trying to change those policies but it hasn't been approved yet.
Here you must 1. give birth alone, just accompanied by the Dr. , nurse and a medical student, no family allowed. 2. No epidural, unless you deserve it. 3. You can't have a birth plan.
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427258_tn?1266448842
wow, that must be tough!
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545608_tn?1218131355
I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's why I'm soo scared!! Beacuse all I hear is "get an epidural.." and I don't know if they are going to give me one!!
:(
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503579_tn?1213651235
thats nuts about the epidural. Labor is something women have been doing with or without the epidural, so with or without you get through it. You will be surprised oh how much your body can really sustain on its own. I had an epidural & it wore off in 10 min. I felt everything & looking back im glad it wore off just looking at my son knowing that I experienced it all good and bad & actually got through it on my own is amazing, Yes it hurts I wont lie but you cant describe it & after your baby is delivered all the pain seems like a distant memory. My son didnt really tear me coming out nor did they have to cut me to get him out. I had back labor and there was nothing they can do for that. Breathe through contractions honestly if you concentrate on that it does help with the pain atleast it did for me screaming although it may be what you want to do really makes it worse because you tense up & dont breathe correctly when you yell or talk.

Hope my info helped & good luck with things
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145992_tn?1341348674
Honestly, I loved my labor experience.  It went really well.  I was in labor for 7 hours and it went very smoothly for me.  I did have an epidural which was a waste for me because it only worked on one side of my body so I felt pain anyway.  It was painful, I'm not going to lie, but it isn't unbearable.  Us as women are meant for this.  We can handle it.  Not everyone has the same experience, it all is depending on your threshold for pain or on your individual experience.  So it's hard for us to really tell you what it's like.  The worst for me was the last bit of contractions when you are almost fully dilated and you want to push but they won't let you.  It feels like you have to take a sh!t - sorry if tmi but you can't go yet.  The baby crowning didn't hurt me at all, I don't know why but I was too focused on pushing.  I also didn't feel the episiotomy.  My doctor did one snip right when the head came out, so I didn't even feel it.  Then they put the baby on your belly and all you can think about is your child.  It's beautiful.  Good luck to you and enjoy the moment.  
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218870_tn?1240259255
well I decided not to make a birth plan.  I thought it would be easier if I did whatever the doctor wanted me to do, but I did want an epidural.  I ended up being sent home from the hospital and when I got back I was too far along for an epidural.  (I live in the US and I felt like I was sent home because I asked for the epidural as soon as I walked in the room and was only 3cm.)  It did hurt, but it was comforting knowing that it would all be over soon and that it would end in seeing my baby...finally!  Like someone else said, it is nothing you cant handle.  Once you start pushing, you dont really feel the pain anymore.  It is all about pushing.  They numb you down there so you dont feel the rip or the cut.  And it numbs immediately.  The only bit of pain that I felt was two seconds when the head was coming out.  And really I do mean two seconds.  Once the baby comes out, you are out of pain, and it turns into the best day of your life so quick.  I know I was scared before my delivery and will be scared for my second delivery.  It is very normal.  If I had the chance to relive that day, pain and all, I would do it in a heart beat.  I love that day.  It was the best day of my life and I cant wait to do it again...pain and all!  The funny things is you mention that any time you feel a bit of pain in your tummy you get scared.  Once you hit 39-40 weeks you will be wishing that pain on.  I was so scared, but then I got so big and uncomfortable I couldnt wait to be in pain.  I looked forward to that pain!  Anyway, I know you are scared, but it really will be the best day of your life.  So good luck and congratulations.  
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384896_tn?1335297931
I'm 32 weeks tomorrow and I've been totally FREAKING OUT since I hit 30 weeks! LOL

I went into the maternity ward just yesterday because my hips hurt so bad, and I started getting a weird pressure and I had a MASSIVE poop-attack and my mother started freaking out because that's some symptoms of early labor.

So my mom's freaking out telling me we need to go to the hospital and get the labor stopped, I'm telling her that I honestly didn't think I was in labor... then she gets my hubby freaking out too... so the two of them finally got to me so I started freaking out too so we went to the hospital only for them to tell me that everything was looking great and that I wasn't in preterm labor.
LOL

My mother, had 5 kids.
4 out of the 5 she had naturally.
And both my brothers were TOO BIG for a natural delivery.
But since with my brother Timmy, whose now 14, was delivered by a mid wife, who usually don't do things like ultrasounds n all that doctor cr@p... they didn't know that he was almost 12 pounds!!

She had gestational diabetes with him, and the nurses were so arrogant there, they just told her it wasn't a big deal and let her be untreated and unattended to her whole pregnancy.

He was 5 days late, and weighed 11 pounds 14 ounces.

He broke her pelvis bone in half, and TORE her lower region up.

But my mother was a tough cookie. She never once asked for pain medication.

THANKFULLY with my youngest brother Damien, whose now just turned 6 last month, she was able to have a c-section because he was 10 pounds 7 ounces.

My sister Autumn, she was almost 8 pounds and she came 5 er 6 weeks EARLY!
lol

But me and my sister Darcee, I'm the oldest, Darcee is turning 16, 2 weeks before I turn 19... she was I think 8 pounds 13 ounces, and I was 9 pounds 2 ounces, and we came out perfectly fine and healthy.

Only thing that happened was that her water broke with both of us 2 weeks early, cuz she was due on my birthday, November 16th, and I was due on the 28th.
Instead I came on the 16th, and she came on the 3rd. lol

So what *I* get to look forward to is having a BIG baby. lol
Which I'm NOT happy about... but the doc says that because of I was a big baby, and so were all of my mother kids, ontop of that I have a large set of hips... I'm gunna end up with a big baby too.

But my mother told me, aswell as hubby's mother...
Hubby's mom also went all natural.

They both said that yes, the contractions hurt ALOT, but once it's time to push, the pain goes away while you're pushing.

And if they gatta make a slit in the vaginal entrance, you won't even feel it because the baby's head is cutting off nerves n what not so you won't even know they're doing it.

And once that baby's out, all the pain just completely STOPS.
And if they have to sew anything up, you'll be too preoccupied with your lil angel that you won't even care what's going on around you.

I wanna TRY to go natural... but I know that I a SUCH a BABY when it came to PERIOD CRAMPS... so I don't think I'm gunna make it very far. LOL

Plan B is the epadural but I'm gunna try like hell to make it. lolol

I'm deathly afraid of delivery, but it's a fact of life.
And the outcome is gunna be beautiful.
You'll have the one thing that you've been waiting for for 9+ months, and you won't care.

A woman's natural instinct is to get that baby out, so no matter how much it hurts, no matter how tired you are- you're gunna do whatever you can to get that baby out.

So just take it for what it is and accept it.
I'm still freaking out about it, but I've accepted the fact what I'm gunna have to go through. And that it'll be all over with soon enough.

Good luck.
I hope I didn't scare you too too much about what happened with my mother.

hahaha my hubby just said "Hurry up with that cigarette" and I typed "I hope I didn't scare you with your cigarette" on accident.
Ofcoarse I erased it, but it made me laugh so I thought I'd tell you. lolol

Good luck hun, I'm sure you'll do JUST fine.
=]
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545608_tn?1218131355
Thank's for sharing your experiences with me!! :)
It's really comforting to hear those great outcomes!
I went yesterday to my dr and she said that baby should be born within the next days!
I'm still scared, but not as much as before!!
I'll take the advice on the breathing part :)
Thank's again and I'll be telling you how everything came out..!!!
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13167_tn?1327197724
caro,  women who've been through labor do it again and again.   If it was horrific,  no one would do it again.  

Think of pioneer women,  with no pain killer,  who had 8 kids and were excited about each new baby.  My first labor and delivery experience was bad enough that I would contrast it against ANYONES experience,  but it was still okay and I went on to have two more looking forward to the babies.  

Have you ever had a serious bout with a stomach virus?  It isn't worse than that,  girl.  You'll be okay.  The reason you're pregnant is because your body is HEALTHY,  and you can get through this.  Migraine headaches are way worse than delivery.

Good luck pushing.  You'll be fine,  just relax and breathe.  Breathe. Breathe.  In your nose,  out your mouth,  relax,  breathe.  
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244969_tn?1215063907
Ya, it hurts. I would be a lot more scared of taking care of a child for the REST OF THEIR LIVES then I would be about giving birth. It's coming out one way or another, worry like hell about the rest of the stuff, but the labor is just going to happen, it's part of the small stuff.
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586836_tn?1218568229
The hospital policies there are so wrong! It is your birth, your body! You are paying for it, so you are the customer, and the customer is always right! In the U.S., doctors wait to get to three centimeters before giving the epidural, because it can sometimes slow labor down, but they never flat-out refuse it! And an episiotomy should not be so guaranteed. They cause more problems than natural tears, and are not needed unless there is a severe emergency. (For your peace of mind, I will tell you this: No, you can’t feel the episiotomy, if you get it while the baby is crowning, whether you’ve had an epidural or not. This is because the baby’s head presses on nerves and creates a numbing effect on the area.) Changing to a squatting position can open the pelvis 30% more, so don’t let them tell you that you are too small!
Are there any alternative pain treatment methods you can use there, such as birthing balls, water birth, position changes, massage, a doula, etc.?? Can you sign any kind of waiver to allow your husband with you for the birth?? They can't force this stuff on you! Heck, if they refuse to give you the epidural and won't let your husband in, you could feasibly walk out of the delivery room to get to him.
If there is that much uncertainty, I would think about homebirth. They might not give you the epidural anyway, and at least at home you could be with friends and family, and not feel like such a prisoner! Birth is your experience, not something for doctors to control and institutionalize! They should give you peace of mind, not cause fear and stress weeks ahead of time! But judging by the laws there, I'm guessing that homebirth and midwives are illegal.
Even in third world countries, where maternal and infant mortality rates are alarmingly high, the woman has the right to complain and the right to have support people with her! There is something very wrong about how labor and delivery are being handled in Colombia.
Sorry that this was such a long rant. But I believe everything I wrote!
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586836_tn?1218568229
But good luck with your baby, and God Bless!
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545608_tn?1218131355
It's really terrible that birth has been institutionalized, but's there's nothing I can do to complain about it. Like I said on my first post, a bill is being analized in order to change the way women are treated during labor, but that bill hasn't been approved yet.. I thought  I was gonna go into labor after they approved it, because It's been on the senate for Sooooooooooo Long.. but  I'm not that lucky :(
Today I'm going to my last check-up with the dr, and I hope I can do something or make her sign an approval for an epidural. I cross my fingers so I won't be needing it, but I believe it's a relief to know that you have the option to get it.. I mean, have control in your own birth..
Thank you, and I'll tell you how my check-up went
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Avatar_f_tn
I was 17 when I had my daughter.  The contractions to me felt like charlie horses in my stomach.  It isn't the same feeling as period cramps.  It's a different pain and it is in a different spot.  The good thing is that they come and go, and you can tell when you are about to have one, so you can prepare yourself.  I had back pain during contractions but I was able to have family with me who massaged my back during most contractions so I didn't feel the back pain.  I was lucky enough to get an epidural but didn't get it until I was 8 cm, so 30 mins after the epidural I was ready to have her.  The epidural was wonderful.  Even though I had one, I still wanted to push like crazy, the only thing on my mind was getting her out.  I was lucky in the fact that I didn't have any tears or cuts.  I am actually a very unlucky person and you said you were too, but I guess labor is the one time that we unlucky people do get lucky.  Keep your hopes up!  
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172826_tn?1292440112
i was induced and took the epidural...it hurts.. alot.. but your body learns to deal with it... you freak out and scream your head off and act all silly instead of keeping cool and just breathing and concentrating.. then yes i think it will hurt far worse...like i said it does hurt i wont lie mind you i was induced and supposedly induced labour is 100 times worse.. i got my epidural working 2 hours before i was fully dilated..it hurts but worth it and easily forgotten.. i'd do it again in a heartbeat because of the beautiful miracle you have after.. try not to worry.. expect women screaming their heads off in the hospital.. that's what scared me the most.. i never said a word other than a few grunts and make it stop to my mommy lol..
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Avatar_f_tn
i was in labor for 72 hrs!!!!!! i asked for an epidural but by the time the doc came to give it to me it was too late my son had been born. i only had gas and air and i can remember everything about the birth. its the best feeling in world knowing that i could feel everything. i was lucky. i only had to push 3 times and alfie was born. i didnt tear one bit. everyone is different giving birth. all i can say is either way (with or without an epidural) that baby's comin out. try not be scared. its the best feeling in world holding your baby. try and remember that when the pain starts and it will all be over in no time. good luck.
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334776_tn?1249972181
hey girlie-you're due about the next 2 weeks give or take right? how are you doing?
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545608_tn?1218131355
Hi..!
My baby was born 10 days ago.. by c-section!! haha.. I didn't feel the contractions, They induced me but nothing happened, so they had to schedule a c-section on thursday 14 ..!! It hurt the first 4 days, but I'm perfect now, I recovered really fast, all I have left is to get the stitches removed..!! And my baby was born perfect, I'm tired, Ihaven't slept but I'm reallyhappy.
Thank you all for your advices.!!
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