Odd question

[ESTfire]

So, by no means my girlfriend is pregnant. However we both really want a kid and we are only 17, we have been together 2 years and it's going extremely smoothly. We have a plan after comming graduation and we both are firefighters (or soon to be better said) and saying so we are attending a Prestigous ffire acadamy together. Everything is set out, job, house, money has been saved, education is mostly set, vacations, and life with her is really great. We both agreed that we wouldn't get married till we were around 25 possibly engaged in a year or so just to keep our parents happy. We move out soon and it's all set, it's close to the school we will attend (make money as well) part time jobs and everything. We want to get a puppy and I'll be close for a football  league I play in. We will have alot of time at home but we can't help but talk about children. Personally I am really wanting one, I didn't have a father and one of my life goals is to raise a family, she wants to give that to me and it takes alot of convinces for us to wait. Is it normal to want a child so bad? It won't affect our plans too much but I don't k ow understand why an urge like this is so strong. We feel like a family and she always asks the same thing, why the sudden urge for children?


This may sound weird and I myself am not sure if I am explaining it right, hopefully there is no confusion... We know it would be smarter to wait but the whole thing seems to lean toward an ever building urge. Any thoughts?

[mami1323]

Whether or not they can take care of a child is not the issue.  They are still young and have a lot of growing up to do themselves.  Heck they haven't even experienced life themselves much.  I think they are on the right track to being mature adults but they should focus on their careers and then work on the family thing.  People change a lot and with the stress of "real life" issues, that could change their relationship as well.  I agree with AP, start with a puppy.  

[FirstTimeMommyToBe]

Let me just say it like this... Follow your heart... Just because you are young doesn't mean you can;t love and take care of a child like anyone else! God has blessed you so take it, love it, and be thankful for it... :-)

[AHP84]

Stick with the puppy for now. They can be a lot like children, and cost quite a bit, too. Heck, if you want to know the cost of a child, get a puppy and then buy it the best of everything (holistic dogfood, premium bedding stuffed with down feathers and covered in suede, lots and lots of toys, little costumes to wear on Halloween, etc) and send them to doggy daycare and get obedience training with top trainers. Seriously, I'm not kidding here...trust me, you'll get a clue really fast of what it financially takes to raise a child that way...
Kids are not cheap; the biggest costs they accrue are formula and baby food (and if they have food and/or milk allergies, triple that cost), diapers, daycare (usually close to $200 per WEEK or more), and clothing they outgrow a month after you buy it. Sorry, but two part time jobs are not going to easily cover all that, IF two part time jobs even CAN cover all that.

Have a child later, when your lives, careers, and most importantly, your relationship (marriage) is firmly established. That is the most responsible thing to do, and that is the best decision you can make for your future children.

[Pakigirl]

My request to you. You are KID urself whether you accept it or not. Wait for few years. Oh and whats the point of  getting married  at the age of 25 and having kids at 17? *thinking* why bothering with getting married when you dont know what it is for.

[Caddy1992]

also you wont be in a footbal league or taking care of a puppy you wont have the money to pay for those things with your part time jobs

[Caddy1992]

im 17 and currently pregnant and if i could take it all away i would i no thats a horrible thing to say but i wish i was still a virgin im way to young to be a mother and its caused a lot of stress for me and my boyfriend we have been together now for 1 and a half years and things were going great til our accident and now we fight constantley and its really put a huge strain on our relationship ... please if you can wait it will be worth it having a child young wrecks your life you cant do anything anymore and no one wants to hang with me because i cant do the same things they can because im pregnant and i know they wont afterwards either because ill be busy with my son ....
really i do love the thought of being a parent but i honestly wish i waited til i was married because i know im probably going to end up being a single mother because my childs father and I will be constantley fighting
also good luck with both of you working who are you going to have taking care of your child you cant have your parents do it they raised you do you honestly think they want to raise another child to
you dont even have jobs yet ????
do you realize how much it costs to raise a child
i think you both are not ready no matter how young you are i dont care if you actually read this please wait
as i said before having a child young takes away your friends, free time, and money
take care and make the right decision

[Sarah1013]

you need to wait. Things may be going smoothly now, but people dont stop changing til mid to late twenties. You both could change completely. Not saying you guys are doomed, but you never know. But a child having both parents together is ultimately the ideal situation.

[Ashelen]

I would say heatherlynn is right 100%. knowing what you're GOING to do is not the same as having already done it...best to get all that under your belt before a baby. of course you both sound very responsible and you sound like you would be good parents, and part of that is making the right choice to wait until you are as stable as possible. Also, I've said this before in response to other posts and I have to say it here...even at 17 her body is not completely finished maturing, and there are higher risks associated with pregnancies in younger women. They say 20 is the youngest age you can expect a woman's body to have finished maturing enough not to present possible complications during pregnancy (although plenty of 17-20 year olds have healthy pregnancies).

All I can say is that you are being responsible and proving yourself ready for children if you wait until you have everything already settled and stable, not just "about to be" or "going to be", you know what I mean?

At 17 I was single and free, accepted into the Air Force Academy and planning to be a pilot....7 years later, i'm a stay-at-home mom of 1, pregnant with #2, and my husband works part-time and goes to college. Not at all what I planned...wonderful, yes. I wouldn't change it for the world but...not what was "going to" happen. :)

you not having a father is probably why your urge is so strong..now that you're (becoming) a man you're feeling an urge to protect and nurture children of your own....but you are making the best decision if you wait.

[heatherlynn22]

wait for a few years. 17 is REALLY young. you can have everything all planned out but that's not always how life goes. do you know for sure you're going to this academy? were you already accepted? and what about if she's pregnant? she would have to be a dispatcher or not at all...not to mention child care. is that set up? part time jobs won't support a house, bills, groceries and a baby. it's wise to wait until later when you do have a full time job, out of school and the house...for sure and not just a plan.

i had plans. they did not happen how i wanted. i don't know of anyone who's plans did turn out exactly how they were supposed to.