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They don't want her to have the baby

Hello,
My 17 year old is pregnant. I found out on Christmas Day. It has been very emotional for me, knowing she is so young, and hasn't finished school, ect. My problem has only gotten worse, I told her grandparents (my parents) about it and they reacted very negatively, they told the rest of our big family and now they are saying very negative things about her because she won't get an abortion. They are mad at me for letting her boyfriend continue to come over to our home. My mom is calling her selfish for bringing a baby in the world her cousin is saying she is mad at her because she isn't working and can't afford the baby. They are acting like if she has the baby they no longer want anything to do with us. My brother said they were all talking and decided she only got pregnant because we were overprotective. It's all ridiculous. It is causing more stress for my daughter also. She does not want to get an abortion and I don't want her to also. It is not the babies fault. And opinions on this would be great.
6 Responses
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992329 tn?1317696306
I am a teenager, im 16 and im pregnant. Your right an abortion is not the way, i do not believe in it, it isnt the babys fault. And what i think you should do is keep supporting her, its already done so you mine as well make the best of it, and let the rest of your family realize that, yes everyone is going to be upset and disappointed at first, but in time they will get used to it. and maybe even get excited. its rough being a pregnant teen. And something that helps soooo much is a supportive family and i am very thankful that mine is
Good luck :))
Helpful - 0
1140341 tn?1262757460
I think it is great you support your daughter. I was 19 my first time and I received the same reaction from family, and I was in college. I would tell family that if you do not have something nice and supportive to say please do not say anything at all.
I know this is not the life you dreamed for your daughter but maybe you both should focus on the happy side of things, her last trimester will be during summer during school break, and maybe she could enroll in home school k-12 is a good program that is connected to public school supervised by a local teacher.
I see no problem letting the boyfriend come over the deed is done, even if in the future they are not togehter they will still be parents together and you not shutting the door on him is helping create a health supportive bond.
Maybe by spring and the baby shower the rest of the family will see it will be ok.
I hope his parents are supportive as well. best wishes to you and yours and congrats on the new addition.
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Avatar universal
Im glad to know that there are mothers out there like you.  Just remember be supportive, DO NOT disable her.  She has made a grown-up decision and (even though its going to be tough) she needs to be as responsible as possible and grow-up fast.
My mother was supportive with my sister's first child (she was 15 at the time), and my mom did everything.  My sister is now 27 and she cant even do laundry......Now she has two more kids and my mother is there for them 24/7, doesnt have a life of her own, and disable's her from what she NEEDS to learn to do herself.  
Now my mom isnt here for my child and the support I need....

If you dont mind me asking....
Does the boy know or is he having anything to do with the baby.
If so that is Awesome!
If not I totally would reccomend it, having both parents in the child's life just makes life so much better!!
Unless of course he's just one of those guys who doesnt give a crap! Ugh



Helpful - 0
203342 tn?1328737207
I agree with the above poster. I am in the same situation as you. I found out in November that my 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Yes, it was shocking and devastating at first. I felt sorrow that she is so young and would have to grow up so fast. She is also still in school and I worried about how this would affect her. But you know what? I am incredibly proud of her and how she's handling all of this. She doesn't believe in abortion (neither do we) and wants to do the right thing. We told her we will support her and we will. We know it will be hard but we're trying to take one day at a time and lean on God to get us through all of this. I think this may very well bring us even closer together. All babies are a gift from God. Like you said, the child is innocent. That child will need lots of loving people in it's life in order to have a good self esteem. I understand that it's a shock for your family and I'm hoping that they will come around as they get more used to the idea but I agree with the person above. If they do not come around you're first priority is to protect your daughter and that child. They don't need the stress and negativity. You will have to set down some rules and if they can't follow them and be nice then they can't be around you all.
I recommend you read the book "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. It's an excellent book to help show you how to set boundaries with your family and loved ones. It's a really good book. I think you'll get a lot out of it.
Please feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk anymore. I'd be more than happy to talk more with you if you like. Hope any of this helps. God bless! :)
Helpful - 0
117065 tn?1280874407
I am not a teen, nor do I have a teen....... but I want to tell you that I think it is wonderful for you to be there and support your daughter in this very emotional time.  As far as family goes, it is not their decision, and I think if a family is going to not want anything to do with your daughter because she is pregnant, those are not the people who she needs surrounding her right now.  Maybe you need to distance your family from your daughter for a little while, they may just need some time adjust to the idea.  She's 17, soon she will be an "adult", the desicsions should be hers with the guide of a wonderfully supportive mom.  She is very lucky to have you.  Good luck to you and your daughter.........  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im sorry I meant any opinions on this would be appreciated...(not and)
Helpful - 0
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13167 tn?1327194124
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