Yesterday was a really bad pain day for me; it didn't seem to make a difference that I took my meds the pain seemed to just control my body and brain.
Now I feel really bad because my mum called and asked my how I was feeling? This is such a dangerous question to ask me when I am having a bad pain day, because I always answer honestly.
I said, I wish I could go into hospital and get meds to put me out of my misery. That is exactly how I felt yesterday!
Today I have to call her back and apologize for upsetting her.
My mum is 80, healthy, energetic, and full of life. But she really doesn't get how much pain I'm in? She is also very controlling, and as a parent wants to fix my problems. (which I totally get, being a parent too)
So it frustrates her to no end that she cannot fix my pain or back problems. I have already surrendered, and realize that I can't control my life, but am trying to manage what I can.
Most days I do want to live, but somedays when the pain is soooooo bad and I feel useless, I really get depressed.
Ok, well today is a better day, so I better get out for a bit and enjoy the sunshine.
Any advice is appreciated. I might post this on medhelp tomorrow, and see if any other people can relate.
I can totally relate, in my mind I know it is wrong and would never act on it but at time when the pain gets so bad for so long that you just cant find an escape it is depress ing I am winding down from a month long major flaire up and I tell you, there was more than one day where I wished I could go to the hospital and have them give me some medkcation to put me outta my miserey. But now my medication is starting to dull the pain to a liveable level and hopefully I will start to get outside, and remember the simple pleasures in life that make it worth enjoying!!!¡¡¡
Hopefully you will find them as well and always remember that no bad how hard it gets one day there is always the next that might not be so bad....
I don't know if I helped or hindered but just wanted to let you know I feel your pain and I am very sorry your are in this place right now in your life. There are people who count on you and who love you pain and all.
sue i am really glad you went ahead and put this in the forum and i just cannot imagine a better response than Sandy's. I wonder if many of the most inspiring passages and sharings happen in the "notes" to each other?
I stay alive because of moments i sometimes have out in nature---moments during graduations--marriages---celebrations. And moments like reading this exchange between you two. And even those moments shared during the inevitable times of grief and sadness and divorce and death. Hmmmm--yeah i really am staying alive because of my beautiful daughters! And they say they really really want me (and need me) to be around a little longer (won't define little for me). That's the true reason. Pretty cool and helps to think of it during "those times". Know what i mean jelly beans?? You women are Great! om yogadon
Thanks Sandy for your kind words. I know I am not alone; I appreciate your honesty too. It just seems like i'm alone, when the rest of my family and friends are busy with their lives going to work or school.
I find life so frustrating, being in pain all the time, it hurts to stand it hurts to walk . I want to do things and get stuff done, but I need to rely on others to help me. So it is nice to talk to others who are in similar situations.
I'm feeling a bit better today, and yesterday was gorgeous and I managed to go for a nice swim outside :) I love swimming in a warm pool, I feel free and it's not painful.
I think it is part of the whole "just put me to sleep" mental state (we want to end the pain not necessarily our lives) that there usually is nothing that will break that thought pattern. I think even if we made videos designed to get us to remember "those times" or had recordings or pictures etc. it still wouldn't work. Don't get me wrong--sometimes is does work for me to see my daughters video clips or pictures of them when they were kids--but sometimes it just doesn't--i don't want to see it or hear it! Leave me alone etc. you guys know how it goes. There's a big hint for us---not so subtle--guess what? I am still here. We are still here. Survivors! And i am convinced that it Could get better--might not?--but it could. Let's hang in there and see and share with others how we do it. It is a good day today for me---finished up a biopsy--filled up my prescriptions--and don't see doctors for ten days at least. Fingers crossed. Hope you are all having at least a decent day. It doesn't seem anyone is that interested in the breathing stuff. I get it--we do it all the time--how could something that simple be very effective. Really i get it--i see it everyday. I'll start on a different (still in this thread) technique soon. om yogadon
May I suggest some therapy? Google Chair tie chi. These exercises are done sitting in a chair. Relevant acupressure points are also given. You may pick up some easy and relevant exercises. As you like swimming, I think you may take hydro therapy.And doing some exercises in swimming pool gives unexpected good results. Do try something to create a positive mood.
To-day(night) I have hinted at the following exercises in my various postings in this group forum. (To-day I am completing my Eighty first year and entered into 82:.
I believe that main goals of forum is generating ideas. There in turn will generate more ideas.Out of there ideas we may have solution for out problems.So keep brain storming on.
I am so thankful that I stumbled upon your entry. I have so many bad days even with medicines, and no one believes me. It's nice to know I am not the only one who can't just "get better" with pills.
I'm sorry that you are in pain, but thank you for sharing!!!
If you are referring to my message, i can say that to have pain problems and dependent on pills is not desirable. If you research holistic therapy and adopt some effective therapies, you may be free form the pills and improve quality of your life. At my age pain is the order of the day.
You may Google sentic cycles by DR.Manfield chlames. It may help you to balance your emotions which may help to alter your responst to pain and other problems of your life. You are welcome to this group. Omhome takes care of the members. thanks.
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