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The Chronic Pain Couch User Group
Important Views from the News
About This Group:

This is a great site for anyone suffering from Chronic Pain or has a Family member or Friend who suffers. A place where you can tell your story, find others with similar conditions or pain, help someone in need, read up on the latest Chronic Pain treatments or simply sit for a while. Chronic Pain as we all know can be debilitating and relentless. It is not prejudice in any way, shape, or form. It can strike without warning and stay for life. The Chronic Pain Couch is a place designed for your comfort, and please note.. You don't have to suffer from chronic Pain to be a part of this community, we offer a variety of other topics as well. I truly hope that you will come and join us. And remember, there is never a need to worry whether or not your post has been read, a member or myself (Molly) are generally available to read and respond to all posts that come our way...... We are always here for you. Together We CAN Make A Difference in each others lives and how we manage day to day in coping with our relentless pain. Warmest regards, Mollyrae, founder of The Chronic Pain Couch.

Founded by Mollyrae on September 22, 2009
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Important Views from the News

I read yesterday, and i do not have the link at the moment, that daily use of 1 black coffee and 3 or 4 cups of green tea just about wipes out any risk for a stroke...I adore green tea, black coffee not so much, and went to replenish my supply of green tea and the store was almost out of it....That is how the news works...something small, so positive and no one wrote about in in any boards that i can see, but the stores have to restock now.  

so if you think that no one is reading your posts, no one pays any attention to your posts, no one is listening, you are wrong.  people may not comment on what you say or share, but positive loving heartfelt writing and sharing is always seen by someone...

Thank you all for taking the time to come here and share with us...I read your posts and sometimes forget
to reply but do appreciate all you are doing...

M
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my lady friend who i have known since i was 6, just had a stroke on both sides of her brain today....she is still bleeding in her brain and cannot speak or move her arms and legs.  she stopped drinking and smoking and watched her diet because of diabetes 10 years ago, and when she woke up at the hospital, she is back in 1992, the nurses asked her what year it is, and she keeps asking for her mother who passed 2 years ago.

I will be going to visit her today and with the family all in the room will not be able to really say too  much to my friend as we are all trying to be upbeat and very positive around her...she is in and out of consciousness
and I will  include her in my morning meditation today and just talk with her
as i would were she right by my side in her hospital bed.

my friend and i had a talk when her husband passed in the 90s;;;she told me she no longer wanted to live, she wanted to be with her one true love, her only husband, her only true friend and I told her that her children and grandchildren and soon to be coming great grand children would need her, would love to meet her, would miss out if she willed herself to die....we never talked about it again, not since that day, but i have watched this woman go from diabetes, to heart disease, to lung cancer to now a massive stroke that may or may not just get her wishes fulfilled.

blessings to you all

M
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I went and did visit my friend in the hospital yesterday.  Her family told her that Maria, (M, thats me) was coming to visit and she had no recollection of who I am, who I was and told them so.....

"oh you know her, they said, "you have been friends for 45 years." and she nodded to her family and said, OK......

It was very obvious once i got into the room to find out that she did truly not know me or remember me one little bit.  i told her that i was worried about her and so happy to see her sitting up in her bed and enjoying her family. i had no questions for her as her family had requested and it was like sitting in a room by myself.  it was very surreal and a bit strange to have that old of a friendship and to have the memory of a person totally wiped out by the rupture of a few brain cells...She began a session of PT with the nurses and I excused myself and went home.

I started to think about how we know we exist and how we don't know we exist and how quickly dear dear friends can totally forget you and does that really affect who you are, does it take away from your self, from the habits of the past, from the hopes and dreams from the past, does memory have a weight that can be measured, can memory be rebuilt when the common themes that brought people together and sometimes keeps them together
disappear or are lost.....when friends lose memories is it up to us to cherish the memories they lost and replay them to the person when they are better and maybe stronger, if her memory of me is gone.......then that is one less person who remembers me which leads me into thinking that maybe her memories of me were just excess baggage that nature decided were not needed anymore....

M
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i am going to share a few insights from my own experience---insights which may not be the same for all. And just a little at a time.
     M---you bring up a wonderful teaching vehicle with your experience of this situation---which is a universal situation--is the critical situation. We are really all suffering (Buddha---not me)---from that same dis--ease. One name for it is "ignorance"---so forgetting (her forgetting you---us forgetting even who we truly-fully are) is remedied by Remember (sivananda)----You were just put spirit to spirit in that room during  this visit! No facade---ego absent. That was the "meeting"--and the "meaning" of your visit.
     The brain which she is losing is just one of the tools the spirit has with which to inter-act with the "outside world" (Maya). We are usually unaware of other tools---they are there. And she does "remember" you in every cell of her body and of course her spirit---how could she forget you----she is you!                               More in another post.

om
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Forgetting and being forgotten are traumatic events.She needs your prayers. This need is not known to her.Only thing you can do is send her vibrations of your good will.This will console you and console her spirit.Very sorry to learn about her problem affecting her, her family and you, her friend..Mria, what is her name. I will send Reiki to her..
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When sending prayer or goodwill, we do not protect our self. A precautionary measure, we should cover our self mentally with white light- visualizing that you are wearing a white loose whit gown or you are surrounded by white clouds. In this way you are protecting your self from negative energy. This was told to me by my Reiki master. I do forget this advice many a time.
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one thing at a time here-------you ask if we should replay the memories they lost to the person---your friend. As yogis we are interested in "this present moment" and this moment is "purna" full. Full with every event and person and memory from this and past lives---do we remember those dearest friends and family from other lives now? Or are they an integral part of what makes up this moment this "fullness" that informs---even co-creates who we really are. Your friend is in the "fullness" of you--as you and her cellular "memories" impressions etc. of you are in her "fullness" of spirit,  Neither of you is missing anything---losing anything!    
     So-----M   you are full of it!!     HA!
    
     More later------questions from the group?  Sharings?

om
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it is nice to feel comfortable-safe to play---to joke with each other--to trust is what gurubais do-be.  Thanks M.
    Now---whaddaya think about going back to visit---and just "open" all channels and sit.  Sit.   Sit in the fullest sense of the word. Just sit with no expectations----no agenda.  Expectations---well we all know about those little demons now don't we!   Sit and be!  Yes   Be-sit your self.  M    om
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Hi M,
I will pray for you and your friend. Im glad you shared this with the group, thank you. It does put life into perspective, when tragic events happen to us, and makes us think about the meaning of life.  Even when we are suffering our own pain.

Ive been feeling sorry for myself, actually really depressed for a few weeks, so these stories are a good wake up call for me. I need to be reminded all the time, of how precious life is?

Im sure visiting your friend was a strange and probably very sad experience for you. I remember my mum going to England to visit her mother who was put into hospital. My Gran didnt know my mum at all, I'm sure she was very sad.

But i think what Om and dalubaba are saying is very insightful.
We dont really need language to be with someone, or for them to know us.
It is very interesting to think about.

Take care M,
I saw my first Robin today, sitting in my tree covered in snow.
A sign of spring,  But I'm sure he is wondering why he came home so soon!  
Love, Sue
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sue's mention of remembering her mum and Gran and the emotional "atmosphere" of sad reminds me that there is a whole social learning component to how we ourselves respond-react to such situations usually with sad etc.  In some cultures---tribes---families---this is not the  case.  So a learned behavior---which means we can un-learn it and re-program it sometimes very quickly.
     M----what a change for you it will be as you bring your inner focus and your genuine joy and your young heart back into that room. And of course you can do that---you are farther along this path than you sometimes think!  

om
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Thank you so much Omhome....The mind, mine at this point, is so running around and worried that the thoughts, the thinking, the ruminating had left me exhausted last night and I realized then that i was allowing all the compulsive thinking to overtake my new meditative practice and also saw how insidious and painfull the thoughts, the thoughts, the thoughts looking for answers actually was for me....i woke this morning refreshed and only a bit disconcerted, did morning meditation and am using all the tools that i have learned from you and dalubaba in the past months.  

Again omhome, thank you...i really appreciate your clarity and caring

M
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yes---you have just Seen (which means really learned) that they are just--just thoughts and that they all pass--come back --pass---and next day where are they----and you don't have to "click on" any of the spam-thoughts--don't have to do anything about them -really--ya don't-just stay on your observation platform and watch them like clouds passing in the sky--passing---thoughts passing---now passing---and you are the sky--clouds-thoughts passing---some thoughts like birds maybe--passing---
     Allow yourself now (you are ready) to notice the pauses between those thoughts---mind can do one thought at a time--now---they follow each other sometimes very very quickly---but there is a space between--see if you can notice. Slow the breath --that will help and the pauses between breaths is similar to pauses between thoughts!  WOW!  when ya see that.
     You are moving with lightning speed right now (many are at this time) so MYoungAtHeart--do not let anything dis courage you--stay strong and focused----and keep sharing your beautiful young Heart!    

om
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Dear Sueduva,

Thank you so much......don't want to drag out a story, but our lives in the late 50's and 60's were much different when gathering together a tribe for ourselves...My friend Judy and her whole family incorporated us into their
family when i was 6 or 7, there is not a visable wall that separates us from the caring during all the life events in the past 60 years.  as she is my friend, she is my sister, my mother, and her solid advice and caring helped me many times during my life.  

We all worked together in the same manufacturing plant for 40 years, and today the phone calls are coming in from friends still working and retired about Judy and her health.  Today when I answered the phone calls, I just listened, most friends were sobbing on the phone, and once they started crying then i could help.  I helped by staying silent and calm and thinking positive thoughts over the phone lines...

My mother just passed in June and some of the sadness tatters are still waving around my face, and this brought them to the forefront and just solidifies the need for continued meditation and clear thinking.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.  I especially like the part about your mum and your gram....Please know that i do appreciate you taking the time to tell me that....it was what i needed to hear....

Blessings to you Sueduva

M
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i like hearing from you every time sue and look forward to your sharings.
And the exchange--the conversation between you and M are wonderful to read. I am going to send them to Oprah!
   And M---you teach me something every time with your stories-sharings.
Thanks to both of you for being here-now.

om
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I wonder how can call yourself depressed when you can narrate so well?
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If Depression can be known only by a color, it is a blackness, a blackness of the spirit, a deadening of joy, a bleakness of the heart, a emptiness of goodness and good will, a blight on the newly planted crops that will never know harvest...Depression opens the door to illnesses that kill us in the long run, heart disease, lung cancer, kidney failures and strokes.
Because depression is a blackness, it is well hidden behind you in your shadow, soon becoming a constant companion that you cannot even recall being introduced to in the first place.  Like a succubus, depression will try to take all your hard work with any form of recovery and suck it right out of you with sometimes only hearing one harsh word, having one moment of regret, one thought of yesterday that has not been resolved yet.

When Recovery starts it is like you are given a beautiful lamp with an everburning bright wick that you point into the shadows of your self and your life and as blackness hates the light, he recedes and recedes but always has that long set of fingers on the back of your neck.  Only by constant use of the light that comes with the tools you have chosen to use can you keep Depression behind you as a follower, and not as a cherished comfortable companion...

My writing and meditation are the lights I use to thwart off the cold dreaded fingers of depression.  The more I practice, the more the dark is infused with the light day by day...

M
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Well done! I am actually speechless. Beautiful.
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Wow!
You, my young at heart, what a blessing you are to have on this forum.
I will be praying for you and your friend...You are a true friend indeed..
Your story about your friends struggles and how you were there for her ...your so well thought out gut - wrenching narrative is remarkable!
I am amazed and so enthralled..speechless!
Omhome, sue,Dalubaba, madman.....Thank you!...I must try meditation..I am willing to be a sponge if my fuzzy brain can absorb again..
Your responses are in my heart forever...I want to read this from coffee to madman's "speechless" over and over and over..
today's discussion is priceless.
M, your words about fighting depression has come at the most critical time in my life!....I have fought depression alone and oh my Lord....the hand is there.
Thank you for posting about your friend and promoting such profound thoughts..
Blessings



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yes yes yes and wow wow wow and  for omhome---like madman---speechless
inspired
thank you M

om
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Thank you for the nice words ...That is so nice of you all

M
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i do remember a few years back reading about being real careful when someone says they are going to pray for you because their prayers may actually interfere with what is really needed in your life.  For awhile I would be very warrior like and tell people, " Don't you dare pray for me", but now I surround myself with light and then just smile at the person who offers to pray for me.  It makes many people happy to say that they are praying for you and do not think in the majority of the cases that any harm is intended.  I am still leery and use the words " Sending Blessings" as a form of care and concern.
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Hello Icannot,

I went and read your profile before posting a reply here.  I am very impressed by your travels, your sons and your long marriage.
I am so sorry to hear you do not get out very much.  I lived in Arizona for 1 winter, in the Globe region, and I adore the desert and the dry heat did wonders for any aches and pains I did have at the time.  My father lived in a little gypsy wagon in the desert also, he was forced to retire early from the factory when they found out he was color blind after working as a pressroom printer for 35 years.

Thank you for your kind words about my post.  The facts about meditation is that only you alone know if and when you are meditating.  When you are alone in your room or house, you can add candles, music, lighting or audio books to make it your sacred area.  But because I take me wherever I go, and I am the problem,I  have had to learn to do " On Demand" meditation
as my thinking is compromised also out in public or out with family and friends, as well as with strangers.  There is alot of info out on the internet about meditation.  There is nothing wrong with trying 1 or 2 different types, but found that sometimes the more I read, the more confused I got.  

I started with Mindfulness Meditation because of the good reviews it got from many people who actually do it on a daily basis.  Mindfulness meditation allows you to focus on your breath going in and out of your body and then we  learn how to let the thoughts that rise and fall during the breath work  just rise and fall as we continue our breathing.  Very very few people will even notice that you are quiet and breathing.  But there are wonderful things going on during the quiet breathing. We learn that the stream of thoughts is ever lasting in the beginning of meditation, we learn that the stream of thoughts come at their own accord and that sometimes the thoughts contain a pattern that helps us either journal or talk in counseling or in a support group or here on MED Groups.  

I use SAD lights, (Seasonal Affective Disorder) every morning and
have wonderful health effects since combining the lights with my meditation.  I started in September 2012 and the pain in my legs is gone, my RA is gone, and I no longer spend the day alternatively sleeping or/and crying.  This has been the best winter of my whole life since I was a young girl and became afflicted with Depression and PTSD..

omhome knows alot about meditation and I do hope he chimes in here, and if you are inclined to find out more about meditation for yourself, i would love to hear from you again....

Blessings to you

M
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M----you are doing just fine on your own and certainly don't need any help. What you are sharing about meditation is perfect.
     Here is a tactile meditation for you guys to try out.  Just notice the brush---the touch of air-breath-prana right at the tip of the inner nose. Just the Feel---not a thought--of it.  Sensation---no thought---feel--touch--air brushing-----
    if you like... touch index finger-pad to thumb- pad in an ok gesture- turn palms up --rest in lap or on thighs..... more about mudras later.  Some are visual---some auditory---some tactile etc in their  meditations----so candles--light-------bells-flute-music---and incense---  
     So try the" breath brushing nostrils" focus---even say that with inhale--exhale

Another thing to try or say with each breath is -----inhale-refresh....exhale-relax      and do so

om
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M----you are doing just fine on your own and certainly don't need any help. What you are sharing about meditation is perfect.
     Here is a tactile meditation for you guys to try out.  Just notice the brush---the touch of air-breath-prana right at the tip of the inner nose. Just the Feel---not a thought--of it.  Sensation---no thought---feel--touch--air brushing-----
    if you like... touch index finger-pad to thumb- pad in an ok gesture- turn palms up --rest in lap or on thighs..... more about mudras later.  Some are visual---some auditory---some tactile etc in their  meditations----so candles--light-------bells-flute-music---and incense---  
     So try the" breath brushing nostrils" focus---even say that with inhale--exhale

Another thing to try or say with each breath is -----inhale-refresh....exhale-relax      and do so

om
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Avatar_f_tn
Your comments fill my heart with such joy and laughter...
This is just a true story that you might like.
Omhome,until you said just sit and think!
I remembered what it was like to hold hands with a friend and laugh out loud!..
When I lived in Uzbekistan..only 5 yrs ago..
the 8 years  i had been there before passed so quickly.I befriended the locals as well as expats like myself.
There was a produce market on every corner in Tashkent..
Alone, I would walk to 3 or 4 tiny open air markets a few times a week,  They all knew me and though I did not speak Russian or Uzbek, .language was never an obstacle. They all knew just what I wanted by my smile and gestures...and buying habits of course.
...I would buy their warm round loaves of bread tucked inside former baby buggies..the bread kept warm by baby blankets..
When the buggies were empty the young men not ladies, but men..would run back to their homes to get fresh hot loaves from the family compound "thunders", a brick oven..
At the smell of hot foods behind small curtains, I would be practically pushed inside their tiny stalls to sit on a stool and partake in their wonderful fresh hot stews and chunks of fresh breads, and was always offered vodka! At the end of the short sparse meal, I received a hug and a few fresh apples, etc..never being asked to pay but just a jesture of hand at heart and a nod of thank you.
Having lived in China and traveled roads less traveled by most expats, my experiences were invaluable in Uzbekistan. Still a very closed political system, the women are so distressed ...
We were in their country as invited guests to teach, assist, or, as very formal Ambassadors with consul in glory..
.My husband's position was important as he assisted their airline but he worked not as a representative of America in consul...as Americans post 911, in a country 80% Muslim and 20%Russian, we were treated most of the time as welcome friends.
There were a few places that refused me service...Never at a tourist venue!
.My Uzbek friends knew my picture was on tv when at formal functions, and knew that I had friends from Ambassadors to Secretary of State...
My local friends were teachers, artists., wives of mechanical workers, amazingly knowing at a minimum 4 languages!, I always dressed down..meaning I wore their common clothes, simple jewelry if any, and never white tennis shoes.
My Uzbek friends and I would hold hands... clean or dirty, and shuffle, dance, and laugh out loud walking on part brick part dirt lanes and crumpled sidewalks beside beautiful rose gardens...We rarely went to a crowded bazaar.
I was always given a nod by the police on every corner..always being watched..
Having lived in China, I  lived  respectfully by never abusing my welcome. My friends were careful not to speak of anything but beauty and happiness when in public places,,
They knew of my back pain only..when it was bad they always tried to cheer me with sweets or would pull me out of bed to make me move...often taking me by bus to visit their friends in the countryside. I had massage, acupuncture, drank their herbal teas. One man they said I must meet. He lived in a run down bunker miles from town yet people flocked around his home waiting hours to see him.  I went to him and he ran his hands down my body and told the girls in Uzbek what I needed and of my pain, past and present. The girls translated rapidly as he was touching places that I had pain they never heard me speak about...He spoke of my cancer, touching my breast...again, the girls had not heard me speak about my cancer. He said I had it no longer...
The pain he described the girls had a hard time finding an English word for.
.I had always told them back pain was my problem..
When  they asked their English teacher to translate..she said the English translation was nerve...nerve pain as he had run his hands over my body..touching those oh so painful nerve plexus areas..
I have peripheral neuropathy pain..being hard to describe, I had told nobody.
Thank you for reminding me to sit.

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Avatar_m_tn
thank you for sharing and sharing in such a remarkable manner----and caring (it leaks thru your flowing prose-poetic expression). Such experiences---i love reading about them. I hope you stay with  our little group and continue to share your Self with us.  thank you

om
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alright here is a review of inhale refresh etc.
there are gems all thru the group's posts---pretty unique i think?

ok   so inhale-refresh. Any position(back straight) is fine just do it when you remember but every morning for sure. The feeling-state or your mental state (i call it inner weather) during refresh is like this===when we said the word "beach" to our lab there was instant JOY---tail going whole body excited happy happy dog---or the feeling of a child night before or morning of christmas---or you before the trip to bora bora!!That feeling! Imagine it! Really. imagination is powerful. The mind can believe it. Like placebo effect.  Or conditioning.  If you like add a word or image (or both) to help. So maybe say the word refresh (or beach) as you inhale and feel sunshiney. The more you practice this (tailor it to you) the more effective and reliable it becomes. At first just pretend you feel the refreshment. What can you lose.  
      Now don't hold or force your breath---just relaxed but full inhale---primary nutrient!! Elixir.  I know it sounds weird or hokey or?  but is based on scientific principles.    Give it a try and see.   There is yet more to it than that but first  just this step..  
      Next time the exhale-relax practice. I bet many of you have done the exhale with relaxation and ahhhh  etc before. You can add some kind of forward bend with exhale.-------- make it a good day.  
      More on the "beach" conditioning to come----my intro to psych student's favorite "little talk" i gave each class      

om
                                    
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Just now I have posted under the heading of Chi, Prana, Energy. It is good, simple,short and having instant effect. One can feel the energy with first try only.This can be a stand alone technique or a good beginning or addition in meditation techniques.
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Bless you for saying kind words ...about all things omhome.
Oh how I wish I could read your mind ....perhaps have met you on a deserted road walking and together just being there in mind and spirit.
Blessings
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Thank you my friend
I admire your enthusiasm to help me..
II'll find your info..thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Blessings
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