Neck and Back Pain

Hey,
I am new here, and have never really joined a forum, but I cannot talk to my family and friends about my problems, because they cannot relate.  I used to always be curious about people committing suicide due to pain.  I thought it was weak, and an easy way out.  I still would never end my life due to my problems, but I'm starting to understand.  I am in pain 24/7 due to four ruptured discs in my neck and one in my back, another disc in my back is collapsed.  I have an old compression fracture in my L-spine, and I broke the transverse process off of my T1.  The top of my spine is twisted sideways, and I have arthritis throughout.  I also suffered whiplash several years ago, and a severe concussion this past December.  I have been prescribed steroids, pain killers, and muscle relaxers.  I had an allergic reaction to the steroid and to Darvocet.  Hydrocodone makes me sick and reduces the pain slightly for thirty minutes max. if at all, and the muscle relaxers don't work unless I take at least two at a time.  Luckily, I have never had a problem with addiction to my medications, but because they don't work, I have stopped taking them unless the pain is absolutely unbearable, even then it is pointless.  I started physical therapy about 3 months ago, and it has not helped, so the next step is Epidural Steroid Injections (ESI).  I have to have a series of three in my neck, and three in my back, and repeat these series every 6-8 months.  If that doesn't work, then I will need surgery.  Also, since my concussion I experience even more headaches, short-term memory loss (bad enough that mid-sentence I will forget what the conversation is about), and extreme irritability.  I have been referred to a neurologist, but have not had the time to go yet.  All of these things constantly weigh on my mind, and stress me out.  It has started to affect my work, and relationships with family and friends.  I'm not usually one for opening up, and discussing my problems, but it has all become overwhelming, and no one in my life really understands what I am experiencing.  I guess I just needed someone to talk to that has been in my position.  Any advice, suggestions, or information is appreciated.

[Blondie90210]

Hi there.   I think we can relate due to pain and lack of understanding from people because it's  nothing they can see physically so sadly people tend to pass you off as neurotic etc.  You always welcome to come here and have a moan to very sympathetic ears!  Pain is a terrible thing to live with and it affects our lives in more ways than one.  I have had a decompressive laminectomy and instrumented fusion of L3, L4, and L5 for severe DDD.  This was done by a neurosurgeon in South Africa three years ago, it was an emergency surgery as my legs were numb, the pain unbearable and I could not walk properly at all.  Over ten years I first tried hundreds of physio sessions, chiropractor, pilates, natural remedies and none of it worked to curb my pain that shot down the back of my legs.  I would be fine one minute and the next in agony.  My GP was so desperate to control my pain that I used to inject my own Voltarin at home or where ever it was that my back happened to give out on me.  Our medication is very backward in Zimbabwe and they are paranoid about giving you prescription pain killers or muscle relaxants.  The neurosurgeon in South Africa was horrified that my pain was so uncontrolled.  The problem is I have a heart problem that reacts to so many drugs so it was hit and miss what I could take. We did try the steroid injection route but it did nothing for my pain. I can't say that since my surgery I have ever been completely pain free but it's nothing like the terrible pain I had shooting down my legs.  I am able to walk comfortably, do a controlled gym routine (to keep core muscles strong, if these are weak my pain is ten times worse).  I do allot more than before the surgery.   Unfortunately I also have cervical spondylosis and DDD from C3 - C8 with and bone spurs.  I had a recent MRI that showed alarming changes since my last MRI two years ago.  I live with extreme neck, back, arm and shoulder pain that radiates to my chest and sends referred pain into my stomach and liver area.  I have thoracic outlet syndrome.  I can honestly tell you that this makes my life a misery and I have considered suicide but have beautiful children and a supportive husband and would not hurt them in this way either!  At the moment I am waking up at night with terrible neck and back pain and only take a medication which contains coidine, paracetamol and caffine. I cannot take anti inflamatories as I get gastric ulcers from years off taking these.The doctors are afraid I will get gastric bleeding.  When I am exhausted by the pain I take the occasional Lorazepam to relax my muscles and this works well.  I use my hot water bottle allot and people say its not good but heat seems to help me.  I can not take Lyrica because of side affects and am terrified to try Gabapentin due to my heart arythmia and super ventricular tachycardia.  I am in financial ruin from my health problems otherwise I would go to a pain clinic in South Africa to  evaluate my pain and hopefully find a way to control my pain levels.  Some days I don't want to get out of bed anymore, but I wake up numerous times in the night as the pains so bad I have to get up and walk around a bit.  I guess my advise to you is to see a highly qualified neurosurgeon urgently especially as your symptoms after the concussion have worsened, it's so dangerous to leave things like this and have a full evaluation of all your problems.  I am certain your neuro can control your pain allot better and advise whether or not surgery is the route to go.  I sympathize with your pain and hope that you can get the help you need.  Take care and keep in touch with what the neuro tells you.  

[omhome]

maniac and blondie: my god i thought my back knees feet hand etc were bad! I live in the world you describe. I'm 65 and have suffered for many many yrs. If you are still cking this thread then post or leave omhome a note. More later.    

[sueduva]

Hi maniac4561,Blondie90210 I haven't written to you before but I totally understand how you feel. I just posted my note today and thought I would share it with you too.

Yesterday was a really bad pain day for me; it didn't seem to make a difference that I took my meds the pain seemed to just control my body and brain.
Now I feel really  bad because my mum called and asked my how I was feeling?  This is such a dangerous question to ask me when I am having a bad pain day, because I always answer honestly.
I said, I wish I could go into hospital and get meds to put me out of my misery.  That is exactly how I felt yesterday!  
Today I have to call her back and apologize for upsetting her.

My mum is 80, healthy, energetic, and full of life.  But she really doesn't get how much pain I'm in?  She is also very controlling, and as a parent wants to fix my problems. (which I totally get, being a parent too)
So it frustrates her to no end that she cannot fix my pain or back problems.  I have already surrendered, and realize that I can't control my life, but am trying to manage what I can.

Most days I do want to live, but somedays when the pain is soooooo bad and I feel useless,  I really get depressed.

Ok, well today is a better day, so I better get out for a bit and enjoy the sunshine.
Any advice is appreciated.  I might post this on medhelp tomorrow, and see if any other people can relate.
Take care,
Sue