The following article shows us how to create compression and to self treat.
Building Your Compassion and Reducing Your Own Suffering, Everyday
There is a saying that I think comes from the Christian contemplative tradition that goes something like “suffering is the first grace”. One of the things meant by this is that oftentimes it is our suffering that compels us to look deeper into our life for answers. Our pain encourages us to get onto some kind of spiritual, creative or developmental path. If we had not had that pain, we would never get off our developmental *** and would simply remain living a predominantly unconscious life of habit and conformity.
The other opportunity that our suffering gives us is to develop empathy and compassion for those around us who have similar sufferings. Our own specific sufferings can thus act as windows of compassion and care for others if we use them in an appropriate way.
The usual pattern of suffering and pain
Usually our suffering and pain causes us to focus on ourself and shut others out. For example if we are feeling tired and overwhelmed, the instinct can be to cut ourself off from people, and dwell upon our own misery. This is understandable, but very often the very act of shutting ourselves into our own small world further magnifies the pain and makes it even more difficult to deal with and get out of, thus locking us in a cycle or pattern of suffering; suffering leads to a small world intensely focused on ourself, which in turn leads to more suffering and so forth...
Reversing this pattern
Whenever we are suffering for whatever reason, we can take at least a little time in our day to reflect on how our pain actually gives us a lot of common ground with others experiencing the same pain, and deliberately extend a mind of care and compassion toward these people. This expands our mind, makes us less self focused, and as a result of this bigger mind and less intense focus on self we in turn experience our own suffering less intensely. So, we create a win-win pattern.
For example; rather than causing our own broken heart to cause us to descend into a microcosm of self-oriented misery, instead we use our relational pain to develop empathy with and compassion for others in difficult relationship circumstances, thus reducing our own pain as well as cultivating a kinder heart/bigger mind within ourself.
Compassionate intention helps
Even regularly introducing a compassionate intention to your mind like this for short periods of time will start changing what you do and how you experience the world. As well as reducing your pain, you may find that your compassionate intention actually starts to change your actions in a tangible way for the better.
One Minute Mindfulness
For those that wise to work with this practice over the week:
Take a period of 1-3 minutes
Bring to mind an experience of suffering or pain that you personally are going through
Reflect on all the other people in the world (both those you know and those you don’t personally know) who are experiencing similar suffering right now. Allow yourself to empathize with them, and gently develop the thought or wish that they find answers and relief from their pain. Focus on this compassionate intention for a short while.
Allow this compassionate intention to inform the rest of your daily activities.
thank you so much Dalubaba. This is a wonderful offering and our group will love it. And---Oh if we all could carry compassion into every day---every hour---remember it every minute. The practice of compassion and contentment is the answer to "how do we save our Mother......our Earth....our Home..........Omhome
I reread my posting which gave me further insight. In vipassana we were asked to send vibration of good will to all living being.This vibrations come back to us giving us a sense of bliss. Similarly thanking all people whom we have met in the past also gives us a sense of bliss.Such mental communication helps us to be blissful.Even while posting such article gives us peaceful mind. So participation in the forum is a great self treatment.
how do we get more people to participate Dalubaba? I think if we went away not much posting would happen anymore. I have seen other forums with hardly any recent activity---i do not want that to happen here. So Group? What do you think can be done to make for more participation-----only takes a few minutes. I look forward to your ideas.. Maybe a bake sale? Or i know----give away free stuff. (P and H extra!)..........Om
Just my 2cents worth this afternoon, but i think that MedHelp and many many other web sites do have the same similarities that we do here. People are in pain, are suffering and go to the internet to find out how to banish the pain and some end up here at MedHelp. They ask a question, maybe get or don't get a reply and even before that reply is read by someone, the poster is gone, on a continued search for the relief that might be his/hers if they ask the right question, get the right person to answer or see an easier way to right the problem.....What we offer, the few of us who do post here, is not the easy way to recover from pain, suffering and life problems....and that puts us at a minority...
I belonged to a large online Anxiety Web Site immediately after 9-11 based out of New York City. We had posters from around the world who were in pain over what happened and the moderators were well informed about anxiety and pain and fear and offered many links, phone numbers and a huge list of resources that were given out freely. When the group disbanded 3 years later, there were only 3 of us still writing, still posting, still sharing our hope and strengths with each other, maybe not on a daily basis anymore, but weekly or monthly.
I think that if a group, even small like ours, can help each other out those that want to find us will find us. We know for a fact that there are few full time remissions when it comes to recovery and pain relief and that every day our prayers have to be prayed, our thoughts have to remain clear and lucid and our attitudes can always use a little adjustment with help from friends...
Thank you my friends for taking the time to post here. I appreciate you very much.
I Thank You!
A bake sale! Count me in...but...ha, oh how I love your humor omhome..and acceptance and devoted caring......shall we all meet someday in a better place .....
Dalubaba , thank you so much for every day in every way...expanding my thoughts and promoting ideas of enlightenment... to decrease my self loathing .... constantly to practice what I tried to inspire ...
BEFORE. I had the pain!
My own pain has compelled me to re-evaluate hopes and fears...my loving relationship with my husband of 45 yrs in may..and my children and their family....how they try to understand..
My two children have had kidney transplants, each having to put their lives on hold til donors.. Their over all health, and finances were in order for transplants that saved their lives! They take handfuls of anti-rejection meds and thankfully both are now back at their chosen professions.
. I read every message to my husband.He appreciates our group..
M, you are so very thoughtful and yes..I pray so very much for all of us!
Love reading your posts about participation..?.You weave your message so well!
Madman..crown of caring...thank you!
your referred to self hatred which reminded me a funny but effective method of self love. You hug your self and go into meditation of self love. Similarly you smile and go into smile meditation. smile should be broad enough to align your corners of your mouth with the outer corner of your eyes.From self love to universal love and from smile to smiling energy covering universe are as good as prayers.
ICAN; My Daughter and my Son in law are in LA. they have one son. Both are medicos. My son in law had only one kidney.His mother also has one kidney. She is ok with one kidney. my son in law had to transplant a kidney. he was lucky to get a self motivated donor. Kidney transplant was done two years back. He is normal. Thank God. They live in Seal Beach LA.His kidney problem and lack of kidney donor was a big concern for all our family members...
Thank you so much for sharing.
Our son lives alone, says he is married to his job and would never want to be a bother to a wife.
Heve had transplant in Seattle in 1997. Loves living in Oceanside and is lead animator at a very well known studio in Carlsbad.
His minor in college was Religions of the world...he traveled all over the world
Thankful that we were able to help him.
It was after his trips overseas that he became very ill.
But he traveled to Tibet,India,Thailand til he gave up and if twin sister had not taken him to clinic, he had 4 days left!
His twin sister"s kidneys failed after the birth of our only grandson..she was not seen by a kidney-obgyn consult team.
Our grandson is 15 and has "-alport"s syndrome" ...
He will need a kidney in mid-twentys..
Me? I carried the gene but my kidneys spill blood and protein..adding to my list of hashimoto hypothyroidism as second known autoimmune problem,
My peripheral neuropaty might be the next autoimmune disease but I test my sugar regularly and have stopped eating gluten foods.
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