I feel "out of control" not being the one who is told first about the outcome of my upcoming surgery. Sounds weird doesn't it? I don't like the notion of me being 1/2 awake and 1/2 asleep asking what the outcome was. Just like my colonoscopy ..I recall being told, "I was surprised to find we removed a small polyp".
I have made a mental note to tell the surgeon when I see him before surgery that he needs to promise me one thing and that one thing is that he be "honest and upfront" about "everything" and "hold nothing back" and that I be told 100% about everything .. and that includes bad news. I think if I tell him that I'll feel better about this whole thing if UKWIM.
Anyway, that was the thought of the day here ........
Actually I will "let go" and let the others know first .. it would be torture for them to not know ..... I just don't like it but will accept it knowing I do have the "power" to change it but will not do so ... I just don't like that feeling of being groggy and feeling for the bandage and asking what the outcome is and only half comprehending the answer given being whoozy from being put out ... then asking all over again once more conscious. I guess that should be the least of my worries. C~
After my surgery on December 18th, I was really out of it. I am grateful that the doctor spoke to my brother - a nurse administrator for a different hospital. He was able to asked questions that I would never had been able to be able to do that very day. I am a controlling person myself - when I had a breast lump removed I opted to stay awake for the whole procedure as well as only a local anestetic for my carpal tunnel surgery. But in the case of my thyroid I knew I wouldn't be able to able have that control so I made sure that the appropriate person to get the news was very knowledgable on the subject.
I am having thryoid surgery march 5, can ask how everything went ? how was your experience with the surgery?I hope you got good news!. I am very axious having to wait and then thinking about waking up to hear the outcome is very overwhelming. Best wishes I hope your recovery is going well! The anticipation of mine, and the fear is unbearable.
The waiting for surgery was the worst part. I have had terrible experiences with anesthetia so I stressed the fact that I wanted medication to comabt the nausau. The anesthestologist gave me oral medication just prior to the surgery (time released) as well as something in the IV. Wonderful recovery - no nausau at all! I had wonderful results from surgeon as well - partial lobectomy and pathology results came back as benign. Small nodules on left side were left in and they will monitor for any growth but at least I am not dependent on thyroid medication at this point. I found this site about two months before my surgery so I was able to get a full spectrum of experiences to reflect on.
My surgery was on a Monday, one night in hospital and home the next afternoon. I never needed much pain medication in hospital - took one tylenol with codeine first night and one before leaving the hospital. My surgeon authorized me to have four weeks to recuperate and I most definitely didn't need the time (although I am taking it since it is fully paid by my company). By Wednesday I was walking the mall trying to finish my Christmas shopping. Entertained 25 people on Christmas eve with little help.
Not sure if everyone bounces back so quickly - although I did read that many had similiar experiences. I am now trying to work on my next milestone - getting pregnant at 41. My fiance never seemed to want children but once we got the news that my thyroid was cancer free, he broached the subject. I am now planning my wedding in Hawaii on May 26th and if all goes well, I will either be pregnant or get pregnant while there.
I wish you luck on your surgery. Make notes and talk to your doctors. No question is too trivial. This is your life. Take care of yourself and be prepared for everything. Hopefully you will be as fortunate as I was. I almost feel like I don't belong to this group anymore but I know that I would have never gotten through this without this wonderful group of people.
I wanted to be the first to know my results as well but I must admit waking up to my husband whispering in my ear that I did not have cancer was the best gift I could have ever been given.His voice that day was the sweetest noise, I always knew my husband was wonderful but that day I knew why I was married to him.God sure works in mysterious ways!And knowing that my family was there waiting for the 5 hrs my surgery ended up taking rather than the 3 it was supposed to be, I felt the surgeon made the right decision telling them first. I'm so thankful for that!
Thank you all for the posts ... I am reassured I'm not over-reacting feeling this way. WOW you've all BTDT and I'm not alone. I thought I was a bit over-anxious in these thoughts and even hesitant to post them as a ? .. I am SO GLAD I opened up and did so. THANKS AGAIN .. I really mean it!
There will only be two people there which is good vs. a group. The kids will all be home and my husband and my mom will be @ the hospital. I lost my Dad to Pancreatic Cancer 17 yrs ago ... I was @ the hospital for him during his 6hr surgery ... you need 1 or 2 ears to hear all the surgeon tells you right after the surgery to capture all the details.
So be prepared to cry either way.. that makes sense .. it will be a relief any way it goes ..just to have it over with.
Because I was so sure it was cancer, I made my surgeon swear she would tell me first before any of my family.
She put off going to the waiting room and waited until I started to come to in the recovery room where she told me it was cancer but they hadn't discovered it until I was out of the OR.
I'm sure she did tell me that but I don't remember anything before being wheeled into my hospital room. The first thing I remember is seeing my mother's face and saying "it's cancer, isn't it?" She nodded and started sobbing. I spent the next hour or so trying to reassure her (while still pretty out of it myself). Dad's not good at emotions so he just flipped the channels on my room's TV set (driving me insane!) while I tried to prop myself up and comfort her. I was so glad when the nurse came in to give me a shot and made everyone leave. (Ohhh, so mean, aren't I??)
So, despite the "pinkie promise" with my surgeon and her telling me in the recovery room, getting the news from my mother was the first thing I remember. "The best laid plans of mice and men . . . "
I made the same surgeon promise to tell me first on my daughter's surgery (not the rest of my family hovering around) and she was wonderful about doing that too. My daughter wanted me, and only me, to tell her when she came to so I kicked out everyone, closed the door, and gave her the good news. We had a chance to hug and cry tears of joy for a while before I let in the herd of family and friends. From there my daughter told everyone else.
How about working it out that the person you trust the most to keep it quiet is the only one your doctor can talk to and that person tells you when you come to? That will give you some time alone with that person to ask questions, hug, and cry (good or bad tears, either way they will come) and - most important - process your diagnosis before having to explain it to everyone else.
Thank you for your response, I am SOO glad to hear you had a great outcome!!!!Congrats on your marriage and best of luck on the baby adventure. I too remarried last april my husband doesn't have any children of his own and would we would like to have one more, but have to wait to get through this thyroid ordeal, to see what route we will be able to take to have one. I hope I get good news like you wow I would feel like a new lease on life, what a huge hurdle and weight lifted off. I glad your surgery went well seems like most people that have had it get through it pretty good! It is so nice to know that we can talk to people that truly understand, when I talk to my family everyone is oh its fine!, it wont be cancer, everything will be ok. I know they mean well but only ones that are going through this or had went through can understand the overwhelming fear! thank you all for your support I will need it to get through these next couple months awaiting the surgery if I could get it done sooner I would be there just to be able to move on with life. Good Luck on your wedding and a baby!!! keep us posted :)
Happy New Year to everyone!!!
You have encapsulated all my fears and concerns and ups and downs and positives and negatives very well in your post. Too bad we don't live near ea. other ... I could have helped run your salon even though I don't know a thing about hair (hee hee hee :) .. )
My node is about 1.7cm's and is FNA atypical. It has been there for years all the med professionals have told me, yet I don't understand why nobody ever found it until I switched Primary Dr's and he did a routine physical and found a "small lump" that he wanted to have ultrasound for. He kept saying, "I'm sure it is nothing .. women get these all the time and you are in the age bracket, etc., etc.". One thing led to another and the next phonecall was my Dr. suggesting an FNA for which I had in November and the pathologist said it must come out as it is "clearly atypical and I got a good catch" .. that was his response when I asked if is was "sure" of "what he saw".
Another node on the same lobe is .5cm and a tiny 2mm one on the left side.
I know how you feel, I wish mine was in Jan! I own a business and have no one to run the salon until March so I have to wait. The waiting is the worst, as you it consumes my thoughts and dreams or should I say nightmares I keep thinking of when I wake up my husband telling me it is benign and then I think of him telling me its cancer. I wish I could put this away for now but I can't everyone says don't worry about until then..Ha.... easier said then done, this is with my family and people who havent had to walk in our shoes. What did your FNA say, and how long have you had your nodule(s). At least you are getting close to havng a answer, god I wish you the best and you get good news!! I just want this done, I try to stay positive but it is sooo hard. Like my other post my mom had a 4cm nodule removed in 99 and was benign so I desperatly hold on to the chance that mine is too.I just don't want to have to deal with this anymore I feel for everyone that had cancer and is having this deliema continue. If I can find a away to have mine out sooner I will. Again keep in touch and have a safe and happy & healthly new year!!!! Please let me know how everything goes for you :) if you need to talk someone please ***@**** Take Care
Yes too bad we don't live in the same state! to have someone close by to journey through this experience with that truly understands :) would be great. My right nodule is large 3.0 cm my left is 1.6cm with a cyst. Mine has been there a long time too, 2 yrs since I found it and god only knows how long prior to that. Thanks for the offer of running the salon....lol :) I hope your New Years went well. I will be thinking of you as your day approaches, like I said I wish mine was that soon!. Please keep in touch it is so nice to have someone to talk to about this craziness, this forum has been great with all the support from everyone who has been through. Keep strong as I will try myself the wait is almost over for you!!!! yeah! Heres to a Happy & HEALTHY New Year! Talk Soon.
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