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346355 tn?1219858547
Graves Disease is ripping my marriage apart
Hello,

My wife was diagnosed with Grave's Disease over two years ago, and I've watched her slip gradually since long before then, which leads me to assume that she had the disease and was undiagnosed for some time. She hasn't been able to get insurance, and we are currently waiting for approval so that she can seek treatment.

I am well aware of the emotional effects of this terrible disease, and it has literally pushed our 17-year relationship to the brink. I hardly recognize this woman anymore. She cannot focus, she suffers mood swings, she lashes out, she is very distant, she has become detached, has no libido whatsoever, acts irrationally and I cannot even talk to her. She will not be bothered with even simple problems that we face. I watched it become worse over time, so much so that I suffered a nervous breakdown this year. It is very difficult to watch the person you love slip away like this.

It took me six months to reach her and convince her that it was this disease that was largely responsible for our marriage difficulties, and not me. She is so irrational, that she is ready to throw away a 14-year marriage, and leave with no place to go and no money. She was ready to take the kids and move 5 hours away to her mother's. I've watched her make bad descision after bad descision, and become completely self absorbed.

Does anyone know of any alternative remedies that we can try while we are waiting to seek an endocrinologist? Has anyone else suffered these types of symptoms, and if so, do you have any advice on how to handle this situation. I am truly at my wits end, and I am a very patient man; it's just that this has become so difficult to deal with. I haven't found any support groups in my area (central NY) but my wife has finally become willing to come to see my counsellor with me.

My poor wife is tired all of the time, and she gets sick so often, I assume because her immune system is so stressed. If this went undiagnosed for too long, is there a chance of permanent mental damage? That is my greatest fear, because the sweet lady that I married is not here, and I want her back! I've been through a lot in this life, and these are unquestioningly the most difficult times I've ever had to face. If there's any advice anyone can offer, I am certainly open to it.

Thank you very much. Most sincerely,
DougM

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393685 tn?1425816122
Doug - thanks for coming on board - Its nice to see you. As I said, your original post - as a Grave's patient myself - was heart wrenching and very difficult to read.

The emotional twist of thyroid disease is devasting to the individual suffering and to others around them.. very lonely - isolated and not reality in thinking or seeing correct things. Twisted is a good way of putting it.

Again - I am blessed to be one very lucky woman to find what I needed to get my life back.. I may have lost jobs over the illness - but my family and I are still intacked and I am very grateful for this.

You still sound compassionate with your X-wife's situation and you have a long history of sadness associated with her. I feel you may be the only one to push her into getting more information on how to tame the Graves' beast than anyone and if you emotionally can - have her take part in some learning for herself if possible.

I'd love to help her uncover all I learned and give her life back to her. If you want to share that w/ her - let me know. In the medical world the disease is mis understood in lots of ways and that - is even more frustrating for the patient that can't think clearly in anything. Scary and sad my friend.

Osteoporosis is not as dibilitating as it sounds once found and it can be corrected if not altered entirely - if she recieves correct information to do that. Its her emotional breakdown that will cripple her - not the bones and it takes a heck of a strong person to pull out of it to really be well with all the "other" stuff blamed as the reason for this he//.

As an activist for thyroid, I can only say one thing. I don't know how I did it all alone with learning. My husband did not take part in stepping out of the his box and research w/ me. I am very proud I did this - but I can say I certainly would have liked to have someone helping me in my corner. I stuggled in a retarded state at the beginning and almost threw in the towel. I have become quite a believer in miracles and feel I was blessed to recieve one after my ordeal.  

I feel all thyroid patients need help with someone to be there and urge her - and you possibly - to work together to give her more courage and support getting information embedded in her mind to move forward and save her life. It will end up to be HER decision on alot of things but going it alone is not the way to do it all.- trust me .

I hope all is well w/ you and I appreciate you checking in here with our thyroid community.  My hand is reached out to her and you - and hope I can provide some support to help this women get the right medical options available to her.

Peace - stella
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1284129 tn?1271600856
i am crying sooo hard after reading all the post i can hardly breathe....after my 1st child was born....i lost 1-3 #s a day for 1 month, stopped sleeping(read all of danniel steel books in our towns library) wore tangtop and shorts in the snow..skin became like velvet...and was faster than speedy gonzalez..manic depressant...i had about 20 storms...my eyeballs popped out...i had a goiter the size of a nb babys head..my heart rate was a normal 120+ a min...on sep.1997 i was diagnosed with graves disease hyper.....during this time barbara bush had the worst case of it and i believe i came 2nd....i had doctors come from other states just to see me....was in hospital for 2wks..released...and had 4 more weeks to go b4 the meds kick in...because i was in an abusive relationship....the meds ran out..had no insurance..nobody helped me..i was alone in this..and eventually all the symptoms return...except the depression was worst...i tried driving a broken car that can only go 20mph to the hospital bc my bf at the time wouldnt take me and neither did his mom...so i eventually went down hill from there...abusive relationship(his family included...would hit me as well) ...thyroid was out of wack...with no meds...curious how i turned out??? manic depressant/bipolar kicked in and i became a cutter...learned how to hide the pain very well i became an expert..cause nobody knew how bad i had it...i relapsed when i had my 2nd child...still with all the same symptom/ had meds this time bc i was preg./and yes in the same abusive rela..b4 i was diagnosed i lost my mind..got in my car and just started driving...ended up in los angeles...grabbed a gangbanger and told him he can have my car if e killed me..id write a note to save him from jail...he just looked at me for a long time then said come with me and he took me to his mother....excuse me i can hardly see with all these tears pouring out...i ts out of control cause ive kept it locked inside for many years...im sorry i will come back and finish this...excuse me....
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1284129 tn?1271600856
ok..to continue my story....his mother counseled me to go back home and talk to some one about getting help....by the way i was suppose to pick up my baby but my mind took me to LA ....anyways she convinced me to go home and when i did....boy did i have an angry mob family...after 7 years of abuse....and with the thyroid issues...i was going crazy and finally left the abusive relationship...got on the greyhound bus with a 4 year old and a 6month old baby ...i was so weak i couldnt get on the bus walking..i had to have someone hold my baby so i can crawl in the bus...my body felt drained and woreout but i couldnt rest especially with two kids on a bus...i was at my lowest..and thats when i met my future husband..on the bus...fastforward a little...i stayed with my mom and she helped me out....counseling,meds,and radiation iodine...and after a couple months i almost felt normal...eventually moved in with future husband...then relapsed when i had my 3rd child....all the symptoms were back....had to do everything all over again....but after childbirth,medical is dropped,..and again went without meds for years....and had symptoms all over again....my husband caught me chopping my hair with a knife, after i had cut up my leg.....and couldnt handle me anymore and sent me to seattle with my sister to get help...insurance issues...my sister called the police/ambulance because i locked myself in the bathroom with a knife...back to the mental hospital...another radiation iodine,counseling and meds..i was 145# and ballooned overnight to 240#....went back home to future hubby...got a job (6years and i still work there) good insurance...labwork every 3 months...then all of a sudden i was fatigued with weakness, i started loosing my hair, i felt like i had cancer..went to see an endocron...and was diagnosed with HYPOTHYROID...wtf!!! awful new symptoms allover again....stronger prescription for months until i felt right again....then bamm...i relapsed with my 4th child, but this time was bearable...all the weight stayed...eyeballs still prutruding., still have symptoms...same meds for 7 years...and now..today...i have been suffering from new symptoms...memory lost, dilusional..having a hard time concentrating..shut down...monotone...hard to show affection...no sexual drive....bumpy lumps in my skin...body/joint pains...recently my now husband, who didnt know much of my condition at first learned more about it and became more understanding and supportive.....but recently he broke down and told me i show him no affection what so ever.....he cant tell anymore with my expressions if im happy, mad, sad.....because i look the same and i dont talk to him about anything....and we are now at a distant cause i dont know how to change it...its like im stuck this way...in conclusion...sorry so long....im in the process of seeing a counselor and demanding something done different with my treatment...im going to take care of my eyes, im changing my ways...i promised myself i must.....if this doesnt change me.......i dont know what else to do......im afraid......................thank you for taking time to read my story...im glad i found this site...i dont feel so alone anymore................ill keep in touch with future changes...good luck to everyone like me...
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You will never be alone here...we have all been through what you have been through and there are some who are just starting the roller coaster of Graves or thyroid issues.
The most important thing is....you know the signs, you know to get help and you know what can help you.
Thankyou for your posts...it makes me realise just how lucky I am to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
God Bless You and as long as you stay here, there will always be someone to help you and listen to you without judgement.
(((hugs)))
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1284129 tn?1271600856
thank you for those comforting words...i dont get any of it in my life..its always "its all in your head" or dont use your desease as an excuse...so i dont even mention it anymore...so nobody knows what im going through then wonder why im the way i am...like im moodswinging or confused on purpose...they dont understand how dificult this is for me especially all alone...so i hide it...but obviously not..so i gotta fix it better...so thanks
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My wife developed hyperthyroidism after a pregnancy over two decades ago. It was pure hell for three years; like dealing with someone with an extreme case of PMS round the clock, 24/7/365.  It is the most difficult experience I have gone through in my life. I am very, very sorry that you and your wife are going through this problem.

I am a very patient individual who worked very, very hard at tolerating my wife's behavior. After developing this disease, my wife treated me like the enemy. She experienced anxiety, became depressed, and, at times, was suicidal. Eventually, she became extremely irrational, mean, hurtful, and emotionally distant. She slept constantly. Sex was non existent. She even hit me. Most hurtful to me, she blamed me for her emotional problems. She befriended others at work who blamed me for the difficulties in our relationship because the disease overtly manifests itself with symptoms similar to spouse abuse (i.e., anxiety, depression upon arriving to and leaving from work). I thought I was going crazy. It came very close to destroying a good relationship.

One of the symptoms of this disease is forgetfulness. She only partially remembers this period in our relationship. Sadly, now that my wife has been treated (iodine treatment), she continues to blame me for many of the difficulties and mostly discounts what I went through. Basically, two decades later, she holds latent ill feelings about how she was treated by me. After reading about this disease, I have learned that that is incorrect.

When I read about the experiences of spouses experiencing the 'other side' of hyperthyroidism, I must say that the spouse is not crazy. Two decades later, I still get angry about the consequenses of the disease on me both emotionally and psychologically; it has changed my personality. I have to constantly remember that it is the disease that is at fault.

So, don't neglect the effects on the spouse, as these take a long time to heal ... my wife takes her 'happy pills' and gets immediate relief, but I am left with the emotional and psychological consequences that I am left to resolve on my own.

To the spouse of someone with hyperthyroidism: Be patient with yourself first; only then can you be helpful to your spouse.
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I am a 16 years old girl and was diagnosed with Grave's disease 4 years ago when I started to have severe mood swings (from hyper laughter to non-stop crying) and excessive sweating across my whole body. I refused medication as I thought I was just born an idiot :)

I am reckless around friends and people I don't know, acting delirious and unstable. I am aware of the implications of my reckless actions but still I convince myself that I have to do them. I like to go out on my own in dangerous situations, "Why not?" I think, "Let something bad happen!"

I am steadily getting worse and my parents cannot control me anymore. :( Even writing this now I am getting hysterical.

Everyone that has commented earlier is very lucky to have support or be the support and this will help you or the person suffering, I believe, to deal with the disease.
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346355 tn?1219858547
Please seek treatment! Thryoid disorders are no joke and can have serious implications. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck and all the best to you.
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My girlfriend has for 2 years diagnosed Haschimoto Syndrome. At the beginning everything was fine and we simply enjoyed time together, but last 2 month my life turn to hell.
She is angry at me every day. It seems that I don´t do anything right: don´t eat, don´t sit, talk too much (even if I most of the time keep silent). She is most of the time very tired and has no patience at all.
Sometimes she has panic attacks, but only few times she allows me to help. The rest is: stay away, I´m fine! God, it´s so hard to see how someone you love turns in totally different person.
Two weeks before she asked me to move out, because hers feelings has changed and she don´t want to be with me. I did found other apartment (2 minutes walking distance from her) and will move, but not leave her. Sometimes I think that I go crazy as well, because this living in stress is really hard. Lately I have found out that my hands little shake and I start to turn very intravert.
But one thing I did - I forced her to understand that it´s not her any more and that she should go to doctor. At the moment she does all possible tests and has set apointment with one of the best doctors (in our country) for Haschimoto. Still 3 weeks to wait, but at least some target.
I´m the only one from hers friends and family who knows the truth about hers health. I have no idea how our relationship will continue after my moving out, but I will be there for her. At least as much as she will allow.
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I'm reading all these posts and am filled with overwhelming love and awe for my wonderful husband. He has stood by me since I was first diagnosed with Graves about 15 years ago. At that time we were not yet married and the doctor who was treating me asked him "are you sure you still want to marry her?" We will be married 14 years in 2012 and have two beautiful children.

This morning we had a huge fight about ... nothing. that is how I greet the day - snapping and snarling, ready to beat anything and everything down. I snap when I don't get coffee, I snarl because I did but it's not in the cup that I like. I fight him when he doesn't talk to me and I argue when he does. He wanted to leave me earlier this year and we saw a counsellor for a little while. At our last consult we decided that it was not worth it as we were even fighting when consulting with the therapist.

I'm out of control. I can afford the meds (Eltroxin) but the pharmacy won't let me have it as I need a script from a doctor. The doctor won't let me have the script without the tests - which are very expensive and I can't afford it. So, sometimes i have meds, sometimes I don't. When I do I'm fine (sort of) but when I don't i think of killing myself. I dont want to be like this. What is there to live for.

My husband has health issues of his own, and I couldnt care less. In fact, when i'm in my foul moods, i use it to belittle him. I recently stabbed him with a scissor - because he walked away from me while we were arguing.

My temper is legendary. I think nothing of hurting, kicking, biting - shouting, screaming. Mostly I get so crazy that I just want to hurt (him). I try to control my rages where my children are concerned, but I will lose it one day and i will hate myself forever.

I've not had panic attacks (I hope) but I get so angry and crazy that I could kill. I'm scared that I will one day.

for the past two or so years I have believed that my husband is the reason my life has gone to S&*T. I don't think he loves me anymore. In fact, he probably doesnt even like me. I don't, so why should he? I'm tired of having to explain myself over and over and over. I'm tired of apologising for each thing that I do that he doesnt like.

Deep down I know I love him, but it is so difficult. Every minute of every day, I bite my tongue and check my actions. So as not to cause an argument, but we still argue because I can't even control that part of my body. I want to be grown up but I fight like an adolescent who does not yet know that words hurt.

I have blamed my husband for everything, from running out of milk to the fact that he takes sides at work (We work together and run a small company from home).

I want to be his special girl and princess but I don't give him the respect that he deserves.

I want to get off this see-saw and just have a normal, happy life with somebody whom I know loves me and has stuck it out thus far.

I'm a bit all over the show here, as I can't even decide on what to say.
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I have no experience with Graves, but I wondered what tests would be so expensive?  You have already been diagnosed with Graves' Disease.  Seems to me that the tests you need most would be Free T3 and Free T4, which are the biologically active thyroid hormones.  From those tests your doctor should be able to determine what type and dosage of antithyroid meds you need.

By the way, that would not be Eltroxin, which is T4, used for hypothyroidism, not hyperthyroidism.

So I suggest that you find a way to get the tests done and get your doctor to help you, finally.  If you will get the testing done, members will be glad to help you interpret the results and make sure that you get the treatment you need so badly.  We're here to help, but you will have to do your part.
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So sorry. I made a mistake. I was initially diagnosed with Graves and was treated with radioactive iodine, which I was told shuts down the thyroid. I was then essentially hypo and have been on Eltroxin since then.

The tests here in South Africa are expensive because you don't get a holistic approach here. you are sent from one doctor to the next and they want these tests done every six months at about R1400 every time. This would translate into about $200 if my calculations are correct.

Also a couple of years ago I was diagnosed as chemically depressed (apparently my adrenal gland had burnt out) and was given anti-depressants and some other stuff to cope.

At that same time the doctor told me that my levels are out of whack. According to her one of my levels (i really don't know how it works) was too high and the other one was low. Seeing as I am taking the same tablet to control both I was a bit stumped.

On the marriage front, i have just told my husband that I will be going to the doctor as soon as possible to start these tests. I also apologised to him for what I've put him through. I'll wait and see whether he wants me to stay or not, but i've decided that the ball is in his court and if he wants out I wont stop him.  

Thanks for the response, it is such a relief to know that I'm not alone. Shan
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If you stay with us, you will find a world of support and help from the many experienced and knowledgeable members here.  For us to be most effective at helping you, we need you to help us with information.  Let's start with symptoms, which are most important.

If you look at this list of 26 typical hypothyroid symptoms, which ones would you say that you have?

http://endocrine-system.emedtv.com/hypothyroidism/hypothyroidism-symptoms-and-signs.html

Also, please take a look at this list of symptoms of adrenal insufficiency and tell us which ones you seem to have.  

http://endocrine-system.emedtv.com/adrenal-insufficiency/adrenal-insufficiency-symptoms.html

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Hi, my symptoms for hypo are: feeling tired, weight gain, constipation, dry skin, thinning and losing hair, brittle nails, enlarged tongue, heavy (painful) irregular periods, depression, occasional high blood pressure. I have also had two miscarriages and both my children were born via emergency caesars as my uterus "failed" both times.

From the adrenal symptoms I essentially have all the symptoms, to varying degrees.

I'm quite excited about going to the doctor and having my levels checked! mainly because i will then KNOW what i can do to help myself. I know that it will probably be a long road, but i would have started on it.

Thank you guys for everything and I'll keep you posted as to progress.

(Not mad) Shan
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Glad to hear that you are going back to the doctor and get some testing done.  Please make sure they test you for Free T3 and Free T4 (not the same as Total T3 and Total T4).  Also get a 24 hour urine cortisol test if possible.  

I thought you might find this interesting.  It is a message I gave to one of our members recently.

"Have you ever been tested for adrenal insufficiency?  The 24 hour urine cortisol test is considered best.    

I ask this because your symptoms when taking thyroxine sound like they could be a reaction to something called adrenal fatigue, which occurs after extended periods of low thyroid hormones, causing excessive stress on the adrenals.  You can get some good info from this link.

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art44711.asp

Also,I found this.    Hyper-like symptoms can occur from doses of thyroid meds that shouldn’t produce those symptoms, including anxiety or nervousness,  shakiness, dizziness, racing heart, nausea, feeling hot, or any symptom which seems like an over-reaction to the meds, but are really symptoms of low cortisol."

Please do let us know how your are doing.
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For that cortisol test, I meant to say 24 hour saliva cortisol test.  That is supposedly better than the urine cortisol test.  
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My wife has been showing most of the symptoms mentioned here. It was so similar with the rest. The mood swings, arguments, sudden outbursts of rage and sometimes violence in one minute, to the loving and caring person I fell in love with, is literally making me lose my mind. All she told me was that she had a thyroid problem and went into bad depression and immune system breakdown before. I don't know what to do and who to turn to...it's hard to talk to people about something I don't understand fully. She is reacting negatively to my suggestion to seek medical help. Yes I feel selfish that I want to end this, but at the same time I would like to help her and do whatever I can. What can I do to cope with this problem? It is affecting my work and and to some extent my relationship with family and friends. I guess there isn't a quick solution to this, looking at all the posts, but some words of advice or encouragement would definitely help. Thanks.
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I was diagnosed with graves 2 years ago, I had a total thyroidectomy and am having to rely on thyroid medication. Before my thyroid was removed I had severe anxiety attacks and mood swings. My husband and I have been together for 22 years and he realizes its the disease and not me.
I still have mood swings, concentration problems, and become irritable.
It is very frustrating for a woman that never had to rely on anyone.
I think the first thing would be to realize its not you, don't treat her like a child,
And just be supportive. It's a tough thing for any family to go through, things will improve. She does need to be managed by meds though, quickly.
Hope this helps.
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I am in tears when I read all the comments... My fiancé was diagnosed with hypothyroidism a year ago. After months of misdiagnoses of bipolar,ADHD and other mental related illnesses the found out his thyroid levels were very high. At the time he was having severe rage attacks. Punching holes in walls, breaking things, anxiety attacks and very pale sickly looking skin. We pushed back our wedding date in hopes that once on synthroid he would go back to the man I know and love. This was the case and he did go back to that loving man. Although the last month I noticed him looking sickly again and the anxiety kicking back in. He went back in for blood work and his levels went from 3 to 10.8. I feel defeated. Just this morning he left in a fit of screaming and took my engagement ring off my finger all because I had visited a friend the day before. He knows something is wrong but doesn't seem to want help that he truly needs. Ive given up my life to make him better an now I feel back at square one. I don't think I'll be able to handle him like last year emotionally or financial.. The wedding is in four months!!!
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Hi Doug,

I was today writing to thyroidnightmare cause I've being that evil sick person in the relation.

But I have survived and now I'm much better (emotionally) the thing here is that you guys need to be veeery veeeery patience!

Lots of love and support also has made me pacify... when i get all crazy and stuff and my now-husband doesn't explode and listens to me and doesn't reacts when i even say very bad things and then he shows himself super understanding, caring, loving... it disarms me... makes me feel like an idiot...

But one thing that I have to do indeed was to become aware of my disease. When was my hormones acting and when was I. To say "forgive me"

But i didn't started that, it was him cause he was the one most rational of the two of us...

Now I don't know how are you guys in the faith-department, we are (both catholics) but he is more... that's a good place to go...

But if not, then one thing i did this weekend and seriously transformed my life was attending a seminar "you can heal your life" which is based on a lady called Louise Hay.... it was ... WOW...

Your loved-ones should go on their own and be open to change...

Now another thing that my dear husband has done is really let me decide on my own what kind of treatment i want to take and not push me and support me a lot... per instance i am SOOO against removing my thyroid or taking RAI and the antithyroidrugs feel like poison...

So i've tried a lot of this and that and it could have been much easier for him that i remove my thyroid and get it over with, for the sake of the relation but he has never pushed me

YOU play an important part in this whole mess WE get into... If you think is not fair and all that, then maybe you should really walk out of the relation... it requires TONS AND TONS of LOVE and real love and to let yourself go for the good of the other one...

No need on blaming or pointing finger... if you say "you need help!" or "search for help" or "you are sick" or "can't you see you are destroying us" and etc etc etc, is not making it any better...

Is very hard for us who pass through this, mostly if you are an emotional one... but we sometimes get into a self-defense system of negligence were we don't want to accept we are sick or that some hormones control us and stuff like that... i don't know were that thinking stops, but it stops thanks to the nurturing love of your husband/wife...

Check the Louise Hay thing, and support support support love love love yourself and your partner... maybe you can go there yourselves first and then try to engage your loved one... i don't know just an idea

Cannot explain it, i have been very lucky on having such an angel as a husband who has helped me to understand that if I am sick, he is sick, we are sick and we want to get healed, together...

And don't get angry... what do you prefer, to be happy or to be right?

mmm... maybe my husband should comment on this one :) ... one thing he has done is to read a lot... of course he got pissed at some point but cannot tell it was a tug-war of anger between both of us... and i still get crazy and desperate but not anymore after i went to that louise hay thing

In order to love others, we need to love ourselves...

love for you all whom we (thyroid slaves) make your life difficult

Is not in purpose... <3




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ooops didn't notice this thread was too old!!!

I hope things went in the right direction for you :D
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2062295 tn?1330879478
I am 28 and was diagnosed with Grave's Disease back in October. (5 monthss ago) I felt as if i was reading my own story here several times. Me and my husband have been married 5 years and we have a 4 year old daughter and a daughter that is almost 3.

I had hyper thyroidism and had the radioactive iodine treatment done and now i have an underactive thyroid. I have watched myself go from someone that was naturally up and down mood wise to someone that wants to die each day. i am being treated and I get blood work and see my doctor every 6 weeks and have felt myself slip into something that i cannot fully grasp.

My mood is so unpredictable my husband and me are battling each other each and everyday. i have lost all compassion and love i had for him and notice I no longer want to be around my children as much anymore. I am a stay at home mom and have no friends. I have lost the 2 friends I did have and feel like i no longer want to be around anyone.

My best friend of 14 years told me that i am a crazy ***** and that she finds she cant even talk to me. I am on clonazpem, levatrox, and a thyroid medicine to hopefully help regulate my under active thyroid.

i cannot explain how much i have noticed a change in myself mood wise and just the overall person i have become. i am fine one day and the next day i want nothing to do with anyone and i flip out at my children or my husband for no apparent reason.

Ever since i found out i had this my marriage went from being bad in general to a million times worse. i am a complete witch on wheels and severely depressed most days and other days i dont know what to do with myself. i find i relate to so many ppl on here and hope to have as much support. i hope my response is read and will check back often and keep up with this post.
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Please post your thyroid related test results and their reference ranges shown on your lab report, so that members can assess the adequacy of your testing and treatment.
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I have graves to and my boyfriend always fights with me. he doesent even care that i have it. he told me he is not going to console me and let me cry on his shoulders because its not that serious. after finding out some things its very scary n sreious. now i understand y ive been lashing out sometimes n if i told him its because uf this disease he would just say thats just an excuse. i just found this out yesterday.
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I was given a 304 uCI of I-123 in an oral capsule and after a 6 hour dealy a thyroid uptake and scan was obtained. after  a 24-hour delay a second thyroid uptake was measured.

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so my 6 hour uptake was 88.1% the normal range is 7-18%. The 24-hour uptake was 98.6% the normal range is 15-32%.
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Hello to you and everyone!
I am on this forum for 1st time and it has given me some hope ....
MY STORY
4 years ago I was divorced after 30 years, moved away from friends and grown children, lost my job, dad died, ended up in counselling, visiting doctors frequently, on and off anti-depressants.
September 2010 re-married, v. happy - although still depression battling, on and off medication.  Had Shingles for short time - stress induced.  

2011 - GP diagnosed under-active thyroid as I had been complaining of fatigue, depression seemed worse etc. etc.  I remember crying with relief to know what seemed to be causing my problems.  

Thyroxene meds only - up and down, but still struggling with how I was feeling.  Worked for 4 mnths last year and had to leave, stress again.  Came off anti-depressants July 2011 as felt wanted to cope on own.

My dearest mummy passed away 3 September 2011.  Sent me into tailspin.  For a while blamed my state to grief and no doubt it had lots to do with it, but early this year seemed to really be getting bad.  I began to wonder what was wrong with me.  More visits to doctor and tests of thyroid levels - normal!!  Told I am menopausal and depresssed with my thyroid probs and difficult to separate issues.  My mum was also hypothyroid, but seemed ok on her meds.

Have suffered over last four years with constant anxiety - racing heart - feeling like something was wrong.

I took anxiety pills for 2 months end of Jan to March but stopped because felt not helping other than sedating and even took extra few times to make myself sleep away everything!

Meanwhile - I am losing the plot emotionally and mentally - reading up constantly on thyroid issues, my poor husband coping with a woman who has so changed - I withdraw from everyone, cant cope with friends, when really bad - do not want to speak with my children, have become at times a recluse retreating to bedroom.  We have lodgers and I have decided I dont want them around - one lady is convinced I hate her!  I am and have been an outgoing, warm and caring girl, now life feels one nightmare and I cant trust my own mind/thoughts.

2 weeks ago - saw a different doctor with my husband and told her I wanted to be referred to specialist - symptoms of my underactive thyroid present and new ones - aching hips in bed, etc.  Blood tests came back normal again for TSH etc.  However, I requested a Cholestrol test - never had one before - result. 7.6 v. high -she said not lifestyle related, I knew that as I eat ok, read up that elevation is also caused by thyroid disorder - even those mis-managed.  

TO DATE - am seeing doctor today, discussing anti-depressants again - as I am desperate to get emotions under control, whilst waiting Endo's appointment.  I will be telling her about my swallowing last few weeks, feel enlarged thyroid in throat - my mental stability even worse.  Crashing frequently - crying for hours on end and even last week, screaming at my husband, his two young teenage daughters heard me, and were so scared went home and wont come back to visit.

Attended family event yesterday, son of 21 returned home from abroad 2 years, managed to survive until evening - but then broke down sobbing and my 25 and 27 year old girls saw me as I am at home but not usually with them.  I have had 5 children, one grandson, so much to be happy about.  Divorce was traumatic and residual effects are still there for some of family, one son who is very distant - so these background thing make being ill all the more difficult.

My bed is my ZONE - I retreat there when things get bad and try to escape by sleeping.

I am just wondering if I may have this Hashmito Disorder, but know I have too get answers and treatment - feel like I am not living properly - no desire to pursue interests etc.  I am 56 on Saturday!  

Would be interested to hear from you/anyone else.

Kind regards
Beverley
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Your load is more than anyone should have to handle.  I'm sure that the knowledgeable and experienced members here can be of help to you.  The first thing you need to do is to be tested for the biologically active thyroid hormones, which are Free T3 and Free T4 (not the same as Total T3 and Total T4).  You can also ask to be tested for the possibility of Hashi's.  Those tests for thyroid antibodies are TPO ab and TG ab.  In addition, I would suggest testing for Vitamin D, B12, ferritin, a full iron test panel, zinc, and selenium.  If the doctor resists testing for the Free t3 and Free T4, and only wants to test for TSH, or the Totals, then you should insist on the Frees and don't take no for an answer.  

I won't get into all the reasons behind these suggestions right now because I want to make sure you see this as soon as possible, and before your appointment.  

When test results are available, please get a copy of the lab report and post test results and their reference ranges shown on the report and members will be glad to help interpret and advise further.

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HelloThank u so much for your concern and information.

I live in the UK so not sure if GP will agree to all testings, but will try.

I did have a T3 test last year, not sure if that is the free T3 but that was within normal!

I asked her before if I could be re-tested and she did agree.

I am due there in just over an hour.  THANKS AGAIN.
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I fully understand the difficulty in getting adequately tested and treated in the UK.  However, it is possible.  Note this piece of advice from a fellow UK member who was successful.

"What I have learned from my experience is that you have to go to the Dr's office and TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT and to go backed up with knowledge.  You have to tell them that you have done your reading and looked into your condition and care about the long-term treatment of your health and thyroid.  If you fight for what you want, you will eventually find someone that is happy to go along with your wishes.  But we all have to take charge of our own health, right?"

So my best suggestion is to be forceful in requesting to be tested for Free T3 and Free T4.  Tell the doctor that you also want to be treated clinically by testing and adjusting free T3 and free T4 as necessary to relieve symptoms, without being constrained by resultant tSH levels.  Take a copy of this letter to the doctor and tell him that is what you need.  

http://hormonerestoration.com/files/ThyroidPMD.pdf
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Hello
Spent all day in bed yesterday - so no contact with the world!

Dr agreed for me to have blood test for Free T3 and Free T4.  She did not want to commit herself to commenting on thyroid issues - have to wait to see specialist.

I began my course of anti-depressants yesterday and have some Valium if things get difficult whilst they are kicking in.

Feel so tired, unmotivated and wonder what will happen next.
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I say this with respect, but your attitude needs to change.  I am also like your wife, and my husband immersed himself and learning about this issue, and that our lives will never be the same.  

Dear Doug......I am not bashing you, but so many of my "Thyroid Cancer Sisters" have husbands like you, some walk out because they can't take it.  Please don't be one of those if you truly love your wife.

If you doubt your love for her, the best thing you can do for both of you is get out so that she can hopefully one day find someone empathetic enough to realize they have to change too.

I wish you the best of luck, even though this post if 5 years old.  Hope you've stepped up to bat and learned to support you're wife.  

No one hates our behavior and feelings more than we do.
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How are you doing now?  I am 6.5 years out from Papillary Stage I, no recurrences, one huge dose of RAI and 3 small ones.  Still feel like a truck hit me.  :)
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Your wife, hate using words incorrectly.  
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649848 tn?1484935765
This is a very old thread and to my knowledge none of the previous posters are still around, except for gimel, who was trying to help......
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Hi,
I had some postings earlier. How can I change my attitude to support my wife? I am a passive person but sometimes I lose it and we go into very heated arguments. Yes, it's not helping if I am like that, but I am also a human with a temperament and it's a helpless feeling....
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2062295 tn?1330879478
I will let you know my bloodwork this week. I have to go back to my dr this week. I was off my Levothyroxine for a few months and trying to get back on everything. My husband still does not understand me or my moods, and has resorted to calling me a crazy ***** and an insane person that is laming my disease on everything. I am making him come to the dr with me in hopes that he will be able to tell my hsuband what ot expect and hwo to deal with me. Does anyone have any advice for me that might help with my mood and so that I am not lashing out for no apparant reason sometimes? I really feel like my marriage is going to end if things are not straightened out.
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my wife was diagnosed with graves disease 6 months ago.her latest lab results  came back and the medication she has been on is not working at all.her doctor said she has has her last option to get surgery and have her thyroid removed.she is in total deniel about her condition.she really doesn't understand the serious complications this disease can cause.im now waiting on her decision whether or not she's gonna get the surgery.it has been the worst 2 months of our marriage and it's falling apart.she has become so quite and distant with me I did not know why.i finally asked her what is going on with you.she replied she no longer loves me and has no feelings at all.we are on a verge of a divorce but I truly know that it's the graves that's causing her to feel the way she does about me.im alone and don't know what to do.we have a 1 year old son to top it off.im doing everything in my power to save our marriage regardless the way she feels bout me.this is not the beautiful caring most loving person I ever met before.she was so in love with me I really can't understand how u can just stoop having feelings for someone just like that.this illness is taking over her life.i just want her to make the right decision and start thinking clearly again and be the old wife she used to be.i never cried so much in my life.please if anyone has any advice for me that they can share.thank you all..
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Hi I'm 24 with a pretty serious case of Grave's.  After the 1st year of treatment wasn't much help, my mother made me go to a certified Naturalist and she recommended TS-II and kelp pills.  Not sure if it helped too much but my constant pain did subside.
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Greetings. i know this is an old post but it its home as to where I am right not with my wife of ten years who i have loved adored and supported went on vacation to the USA and is filing for divorce and has broken all sorts of things she and i agreed to where our two kids were concerned. My wife is a beautiful woman 31 and  was diagnosed after the birth of our daughter 7 years ago. Reading these posts has confirmed to me again that her refusal to accept that her illness can have anything to do with anything she has done or said and felt and forgotten over these 7 years, has to be due to her Graves and now I am here in tumoil and pain caus she wants nothing to do with me and has taken the kids. I am asking for HELP from anyone who can point me in the right direction as I am praying and trusting God to work it out for our familys sake....but with all the irrational decisions and disregard or care for me or what she is doing and seeing her slip away from me over the last year or so has lead her to this and she refuses to even admit to a possibilty that her illness has anything to do with it because she takes her meds which is carbimoazole. I am now going to fight for my marriage and my wifes health by putting God and The Bible and His commands first, and then her thyroid condition to @ least give us six months of therapy and counselling and pray that within that time she can meet me half way and keep our God Given Family together. There is so much more, but I am trying to trust God. Is there any group or counseller I can find in Brooklyn, NY or someone who can try reaching out to her as she doesn't wanna talk to me about anything but the kids right now and not us. She is a good person with great character and very smart and I know once she acknowledges her issue, she will rise above all this cruel stuff she is doing. Someone help me please but more so everyone please say a prayer for our family...Please!!
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Also experiencing the horrors of a spouse with Graves Disease... Will lift a prayer for you Georgies.  
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My husband of 16 years was diagnosed last month with hyperthyroidism and I believe he started showing symptoms 2 years ago.  Hand tremors, and facial twitches.  He has had a total personality change.  Displays complete narcissistic characteristics and is prone to irrational fits of anger over exaggerated or fictitious events.  Blames me for everything including making him mad.  Has delusions that I have had an emotional affair.  Accuses me of being angry all the time.  He has no remorse or empathy.   And only months after some outrageous behavior he might admit that he could see how that might hurt me, BUT he felt...so it was OK.  Asking him simple questions like what time will you be home for dinner has spiraled him into fits of rage and he blames me for not talking to him right.  I don't know if he is a narcissist and the stress emotionally caused the graves or these mental issues is displaying is cause by the graves.  He does seem to be able to control himself at work and with strangers however with me he projects all his emotional problems.  Lately he likes to characterize as cowardly or scared.  I attempted to discuss with him some that some of the irrational behavior and delusion beliefs may be caused by his Graves disease.  He refuses to acknowledge he has any problem at all.  I’m at my wits end.  I so want him to say yes that was crazy….I’m sorry.   But instead he accuses me of being mentally and physical abusive.   He will get tested again in a couple weeks but won’t see a doctor again until next year.   Can anyone give me any hope that this can get any better in any reasonable amount of time.  I love him but he’s not there anymore…and I don’t think I can do another 2 years of this.   Are there any stories of someone who got their numbers in check and made a mental recovery?
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I almost cried when I read this post.  Have been dealing with this for a year, and am currently going through a divorce.  She refuses to believe it is the disease and won't even take her medication.  I fear for her and our children.
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My now-ex-wife was diagnosed with hypo in May 2012. It was around that time she had changed jobs (probably because of inattention) and became distant and withdrawn. I thought it was because of stress from the new job, but she would not talk about it.
She accused me of having an affair, which I never did or would have. She had copies of bank records sent to her father; opened her own single bank account and was not contributing anything to our joint account for bills.
By this time is July 2012 and while she had been on Armour (60 mg) for more than a month, her behavior on grew more bizarre; taking up company with a guy at work, shuffling him places because he had no vehicle, staying out with him all night (he's supposedly gay), picking fights over nothing.
At this time all I knew was that hypo was about low iodine and it was treatable. I never related the actions to the other manifestations of hypo.
More and more aberrant behavior which led to us separating for three days before Christmas 2012.
She had me arrested claiming abuse, of which there was none.
After spending Christmas in jail and her screaming she wanted a divorce, we went through a terrible 2013 apart waiting for the judgement.
Even though she was diagnosed a year before, she at a pinnacle of pills in May 2013 on three antidepressants, 1 -anxiety and 1 -psychotic; and I heard even more about her behavior with other men and disassociating from former friends.
Not knowing what in the world had happened, I started researching hypo and was absolutely shocked and terrified of all the ramifications.
Thinking back, she was manifesting all the classic initial signs four years earlier. In those four years she had asthma, hives, rosacea, hair thinning, constipation, GERD, osteoporosis, arthritis, fatigue, irritability, depression, anxiety, premenopause, anemia, chronic pain, TMJ, dry/gritty eyes, high blood sugar, indigestion, high cholesterol, bad snoring, unexplained weight gain, cold intolerance and really irregular menstrual cycles.
In the last two years she's had 4 jobs, three of which have been in the last 5 months, threatened suicide at least three times, and had her father threaten to institutionalize her at least temporarily. In the last year she's been through 5 roommates, all of whom I understand 'couldn't take living with her.'
She had never gone back to the dr after the initial diagnosis and was still on 60 mg Armour a year later along with the other pills.
We've spoken only one time in more than a year and after I tried to tell her about all her past symptoms and they are reflected hypo, especially the mental aspects and no change in her dosage, she refused to her it -- that was only last week.
During the spring of 2012, I began to lose the beloved wife I knew as she shrunk into the abyss of hypo, and I didn't know why until it was too late.
I have cried and cried, been frustrated beyond belief for a year now having thought low iodine was no big deal. It truly is big deal that can in a very short amount of time turn your life completely upside down.
Very insidious, heart-breaking disease for all those involved.
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9390143 tn?1403498426
   Hello every one i am a German citizen but with my family here i Canada, i had some problems in my marriage because thought i keep some secrets from him before we get married and i was unable to get pregnant because my husband hate it to sex with me that again develop to my filter problem but before we get married he so much love me and i love him as much so i decide to search for a solution on  marriage site and from friends and i find so many spiritual doctors then i contacted three of them one after the other but they all disappointed me till my family seeks for divorce and he happily divorce me because he already find another lady. so while i was alone with pains i still look for solution every where till a meet with a friend of mine that just came from Germany then she direct me to this site where i read about great ***@**** on how he solve marriage, relationships, family , healing and so many testimony about him then me and my friend decide to contact despite i he told me about the materials that i must provide i just have to do all that he told me because of what other persons said about him. three days after we have done all he ask me to do, he said he have done everything i did not know how it will work because i could even contact my husband again he already block but i was so sup-rice Hashberg call our home line to ask of me. well we are happily married now with one kids but expecting another one soon. My dear contact ***@**** if you have any problem that give you pain. contact ***@**** today he is helpful and excellent
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Is anyone here? I need help please.
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My husband is now where you were then....it isn't HIM that has a problem--it's ME...even though they are taking his thyroid out tomorrow!!!
It IS the spouse that takes the burnt of the situation. At least in my own case...
~Beau
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I was just diagnosed with grave&#39;s a month ago. I want to get this disease OUT OF MY LIFE as soon as possible because I have become a monster. I have been married for a year (about the same amount of time that I believe I&#39;ve had graves) and I have been an absolute monster to my sweet husband. Very verbally and emotionally abusive due to the constant anxiety and depression I feel. The mood swings are unreal. I am hoping to do radiation next month. Are things going to get better?!
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Why did the doctor decide to do RAI right away?  Was antithyroid med considered?  Sometimes that is used to relieve symptoms and see if the Graves' will eventually go into remission.  

If you do go through the RAI or a TT, then you become hypothyroid, with a whole new set of issues.  The main issue is finding a good thyroid doctor.  By that I mean one that will treat clinically by testing and adjusting the biologically active thyroid hormones, Free T4 and Free T3, as needed to relieve symptoms, without being influenced by resultant TSH levels.  Symptom relief should be all important, not just test results.  I mention this because most doctors have been trained to dose a hypo patient just enough to get the TSH back within range.  That does not work for most people.  You can get some good insight about this from the following link.  I know you probably are not very interested in anything other than hyperthyroidism at present, but I highly suggest that you read at least the first two pages and then keep the link for future reference.  You can use it to also question your doctor about how he treats hypothyroidism, and make sure you are adequately treated.  

http://www.thyroiduk.org.uk/tuk/TUK_PDFs/diagnosis_and_treatment_of_hypothyroidism_issue_1.pdf
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I live in Luxemburg with my wife and our 7 years old daughter. We&#39;ve been married for over 8 years. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with GD. Reading all these stories, her bizarre and irritional behaviour over the last several years suddenly becomes clear. It&#39;s like my wife became the meanest person I know. She would attack me on little things. And would go on and on. Then would later claim she has no memories of these arguments. Someone here said their wife was like a &quot;witch on wheels&quot;... That is a perfect description of mine. I can&#39;t function anymore. I&#39;m at wit&#39;s end. It&#39;s like I&#39;m heading down a path with only one outcome: my death. I&#39;m so depressed by all these stories, realising that even with treatment most of these symptoms go on and on... I&#39;m planning on taking our daughter and asking for divorce.
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649848 tn?1484935765
As has been noted, this is a very old thread...

Thyroid conditions can be very debilitating and as you see, and experience can tear families apart, through no real fault of the patient, unless they refuse to get treatment.  Most patients feel so poorly, they will seek treatment and with proper/adequate treatment, symptoms can be alleviated.

Is your wife getting treatment for her hyperthyroidism/Graves Disease?
What treatment(s) has she been given and is she still taking some type of treatment?
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