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Graves Disease is ripping my marriage apart
Hello,
My wife was diagnosed with Grave's Disease over two years ago, and I've watched her slip gradually since long before then, which leads me to assume that she had the disease and was undiagnosed for some time. She hasn't been able to get insurance, and we are currently waiting for approval so that she can seek treatment.
I am well aware of the emotional effects of this terrible disease, and it has literally pushed our 17-year relationship to the brink. I hardly recognize this woman anymore. She cannot focus, she suffers mood swings, she lashes out, she is very distant, she has become detached, has no libido whatsoever, acts irrationally and I cannot even talk to her. She will not be bothered with even simple problems that we face. I watched it become worse over time, so much so that I suffered a nervous breakdown this year. It is very difficult to watch the person you love slip away like this.
It took me six months to reach her and convince her that it was this disease that was largely responsible for our marriage difficulties, and not me. She is so irrational, that she is ready to throw away a 14-year marriage, and leave with no place to go and no money. She was ready to take the kids and move 5 hours away to her mother's. I've watched her make bad descision after bad descision, and become completely self absorbed.
Does anyone know of any alternative remedies that we can try while we are waiting to seek an endocrinologist? Has anyone else suffered these types of symptoms, and if so, do you have any advice on how to handle this situation. I am truly at my wits end, and I am a very patient man; it's just that this has become so difficult to deal with. I haven't found any support groups in my area (central NY) but my wife has finally become willing to come to see my counsellor with me.
My poor wife is tired all of the time, and she gets sick so often, I assume because her immune system is so stressed. If this went undiagnosed for too long, is there a chance of permanent mental damage? That is my greatest fear, because the sweet lady that I married is not here, and I want her back! I've been through a lot in this life, and these are unquestioningly the most difficult times I've ever had to face. If there's any advice anyone can offer, I am certainly open to it.
Thank you very much. Most sincerely,
DougM
My wife was diagnosed with Grave's Disease over two years ago, and I've watched her slip gradually since long before then, which leads me to assume that she had the disease and was undiagnosed for some time. She hasn't been able to get insurance, and we are currently waiting for approval so that she can seek treatment.
I am well aware of the emotional effects of this terrible disease, and it has literally pushed our 17-year relationship to the brink. I hardly recognize this woman anymore. She cannot focus, she suffers mood swings, she lashes out, she is very distant, she has become detached, has no libido whatsoever, acts irrationally and I cannot even talk to her. She will not be bothered with even simple problems that we face. I watched it become worse over time, so much so that I suffered a nervous breakdown this year. It is very difficult to watch the person you love slip away like this.
It took me six months to reach her and convince her that it was this disease that was largely responsible for our marriage difficulties, and not me. She is so irrational, that she is ready to throw away a 14-year marriage, and leave with no place to go and no money. She was ready to take the kids and move 5 hours away to her mother's. I've watched her make bad descision after bad descision, and become completely self absorbed.
Does anyone know of any alternative remedies that we can try while we are waiting to seek an endocrinologist? Has anyone else suffered these types of symptoms, and if so, do you have any advice on how to handle this situation. I am truly at my wits end, and I am a very patient man; it's just that this has become so difficult to deal with. I haven't found any support groups in my area (central NY) but my wife has finally become willing to come to see my counsellor with me.
My poor wife is tired all of the time, and she gets sick so often, I assume because her immune system is so stressed. If this went undiagnosed for too long, is there a chance of permanent mental damage? That is my greatest fear, because the sweet lady that I married is not here, and I want her back! I've been through a lot in this life, and these are unquestioningly the most difficult times I've ever had to face. If there's any advice anyone can offer, I am certainly open to it.
Thank you very much. Most sincerely,
DougM
My now-ex-wife was diagnosed with hypo in May 2012. It was around that time she had changed jobs (probably because of inattention) and became distant and withdrawn. I thought it was because of stress from the new job, but she would not talk about it.
She accused me of having an affair, which I never did or would have. She had copies of bank records sent to her father; opened her own single bank account and was not contributing anything to our joint account for bills.
By this time is July 2012 and while she had been on Armour (60 mg) for more than a month, her behavior on grew more bizarre; taking up company with a guy at work, shuffling him places because he had no vehicle, staying out with him all night (he's supposedly gay), picking fights over nothing.
At this time all I knew was that hypo was about low iodine and it was treatable. I never related the actions to the other manifestations of hypo.
More and more aberrant behavior which led to us separating for three days before Christmas 2012.
She had me arrested claiming abuse, of which there was none.
After spending Christmas in jail and her screaming she wanted a divorce, we went through a terrible 2013 apart waiting for the judgement.
Even though she was diagnosed a year before, she at a pinnacle of pills in May 2013 on three antidepressants, 1 -anxiety and 1 -psychotic; and I heard even more about her behavior with other men and disassociating from former friends.
Not knowing what in the world had happened, I started researching hypo and was absolutely shocked and terrified of all the ramifications.
Thinking back, she was manifesting all the classic initial signs four years earlier. In those four years she had asthma, hives, rosacea, hair thinning, constipation, GERD, osteoporosis, arthritis, fatigue, irritability, depression, anxiety, premenopause, anemia, chronic pain, TMJ, dry/gritty eyes, high blood sugar, indigestion, high cholesterol, bad snoring, unexplained weight gain, cold intolerance and really irregular menstrual cycles.
In the last two years she's had 4 jobs, three of which have been in the last 5 months, threatened suicide at least three times, and had her father threaten to institutionalize her at least temporarily. In the last year she's been through 5 roommates, all of whom I understand 'couldn't take living with her.'
She had never gone back to the dr after the initial diagnosis and was still on 60 mg Armour a year later along with the other pills.
We've spoken only one time in more than a year and after I tried to tell her about all her past symptoms and they are reflected hypo, especially the mental aspects and no change in her dosage, she refused to her it -- that was only last week.
During the spring of 2012, I began to lose the beloved wife I knew as she shrunk into the abyss of hypo, and I didn't know why until it was too late.
I have cried and cried, been frustrated beyond belief for a year now having thought low iodine was no big deal. It truly is big deal that can in a very short amount of time turn your life completely upside down.
Very insidious, heart-breaking disease for all those involved.
She accused me of having an affair, which I never did or would have. She had copies of bank records sent to her father; opened her own single bank account and was not contributing anything to our joint account for bills.
By this time is July 2012 and while she had been on Armour (60 mg) for more than a month, her behavior on grew more bizarre; taking up company with a guy at work, shuffling him places because he had no vehicle, staying out with him all night (he's supposedly gay), picking fights over nothing.
At this time all I knew was that hypo was about low iodine and it was treatable. I never related the actions to the other manifestations of hypo.
More and more aberrant behavior which led to us separating for three days before Christmas 2012.
She had me arrested claiming abuse, of which there was none.
After spending Christmas in jail and her screaming she wanted a divorce, we went through a terrible 2013 apart waiting for the judgement.
Even though she was diagnosed a year before, she at a pinnacle of pills in May 2013 on three antidepressants, 1 -anxiety and 1 -psychotic; and I heard even more about her behavior with other men and disassociating from former friends.
Not knowing what in the world had happened, I started researching hypo and was absolutely shocked and terrified of all the ramifications.
Thinking back, she was manifesting all the classic initial signs four years earlier. In those four years she had asthma, hives, rosacea, hair thinning, constipation, GERD, osteoporosis, arthritis, fatigue, irritability, depression, anxiety, premenopause, anemia, chronic pain, TMJ, dry/gritty eyes, high blood sugar, indigestion, high cholesterol, bad snoring, unexplained weight gain, cold intolerance and really irregular menstrual cycles.
In the last two years she's had 4 jobs, three of which have been in the last 5 months, threatened suicide at least three times, and had her father threaten to institutionalize her at least temporarily. In the last year she's been through 5 roommates, all of whom I understand 'couldn't take living with her.'
She had never gone back to the dr after the initial diagnosis and was still on 60 mg Armour a year later along with the other pills.
We've spoken only one time in more than a year and after I tried to tell her about all her past symptoms and they are reflected hypo, especially the mental aspects and no change in her dosage, she refused to her it -- that was only last week.
During the spring of 2012, I began to lose the beloved wife I knew as she shrunk into the abyss of hypo, and I didn't know why until it was too late.
I have cried and cried, been frustrated beyond belief for a year now having thought low iodine was no big deal. It truly is big deal that can in a very short amount of time turn your life completely upside down.
Very insidious, heart-breaking disease for all those involved.
I almost cried when I read this post. Have been dealing with this for a year, and am currently going through a divorce. She refuses to believe it is the disease and won't even take her medication. I fear for her and our children.
My husband of 16 years was diagnosed last month with hyperthyroidism and I believe he started showing symptoms 2 years ago. Hand tremors, and facial twitches. He has had a total personality change. Displays complete narcissistic characteristics and is prone to irrational fits of anger over exaggerated or fictitious events. Blames me for everything including making him mad. Has delusions that I have had an emotional affair. Accuses me of being angry all the time. He has no remorse or empathy. And only months after some outrageous behavior he might admit that he could see how that might hurt me, BUT he felt...so it was OK. Asking him simple questions like what time will you be home for dinner has spiraled him into fits of rage and he blames me for not talking to him right. I don't know if he is a narcissist and the stress emotionally caused the graves or these mental issues is displaying is cause by the graves. He does seem to be able to control himself at work and with strangers however with me he projects all his emotional problems. Lately he likes to characterize as cowardly or scared. I attempted to discuss with him some that some of the irrational behavior and delusion beliefs may be caused by his Graves disease. He refuses to acknowledge he has any problem at all. I’m at my wits end. I so want him to say yes that was crazy….I’m sorry. But instead he accuses me of being mentally and physical abusive. He will get tested again in a couple weeks but won’t see a doctor again until next year. Can anyone give me any hope that this can get any better in any reasonable amount of time. I love him but he’s not there anymore…and I don’t think I can do another 2 years of this. Are there any stories of someone who got their numbers in check and made a mental recovery?
Also experiencing the horrors of a spouse with Graves Disease... Will lift a prayer for you Georgies.
Greetings. i know this is an old post but it its home as to where I am right not with my wife of ten years who i have loved adored and supported went on vacation to the USA and is filing for divorce and has broken all sorts of things she and i agreed to where our two kids were concerned. My wife is a beautiful woman 31 and was diagnosed after the birth of our daughter 7 years ago. Reading these posts has confirmed to me again that her refusal to accept that her illness can have anything to do with anything she has done or said and felt and forgotten over these 7 years, has to be due to her Graves and now I am here in tumoil and pain caus she wants nothing to do with me and has taken the kids. I am asking for HELP from anyone who can point me in the right direction as I am praying and trusting God to work it out for our familys sake....but with all the irrational decisions and disregard or care for me or what she is doing and seeing her slip away from me over the last year or so has lead her to this and she refuses to even admit to a possibilty that her illness has anything to do with it because she takes her meds which is carbimoazole. I am now going to fight for my marriage and my wifes health by putting God and The Bible and His commands first, and then her thyroid condition to @ least give us six months of therapy and counselling and pray that within that time she can meet me half way and keep our God Given Family together. There is so much more, but I am trying to trust God. Is there any group or counseller I can find in Brooklyn, NY or someone who can try reaching out to her as she doesn't wanna talk to me about anything but the kids right now and not us. She is a good person with great character and very smart and I know once she acknowledges her issue, she will rise above all this cruel stuff she is doing. Someone help me please but more so everyone please say a prayer for our family...Please!!
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