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Hard time moving on from my ex with his Graves in the picture?

My ex and I met in 2015 when we were both married to other people. His ex wife was very much physically abusive. His marriage ended a few months before mine(which was emotionally abusive) did and he was there for me when it did. He was diagnosed with graves April 30, 2016. We stayed friends/ "drill partners" until he asked e out in november. He was so passionate, kind and truly loving. We were perfect for each other. We've been fighting for the past couple months and his memory issues have gotten worse over time, he has been on meds since 4/30/17 and his t4 levels are slow to lower. I feel like i've been watching my best friend die over the past year. Waking up just to make it through another day has become a chore for him, he constantly feels sick. He has always put on a strong face and gets through the day and goes above and beyond for my daughter and myself. He was found unconscious at work 3/10/17 and I took him to er. He is constantly tachey, shaky and diaphoretic. Since then he hasn't been the same. I know he is depressed and I tried to show him how much  love him and help him remember he will get better but I feel like he lost hope in everything. I feel like he doesnt remember the good times and the nice things i do for him because we work opposite shifts and only get to see each other for short periods of time. He left me a week ago. We were both moody and arguing like we've been doing more than usual lately. I am not asking for false hope or a way to win him back, I'm just curious if it is common for graves disease patients to loose sight of their morals, judgement, rationality and self control as well as everything else. He has been very rude and emotionally unpredictable since he left. He a smart guy and the real man inside is wonderful. He showed me and my daughter what it means to be loved until the day he coudnt anymore. He says he cant handle my stress anymore(when I stay up for 24 hours at a time to make sure he is taken care of and hold down the fort) I'm not trying to blame our entire break up on his disease. He already has a rebound girl and i am focusing on taking care of me and my daughter without him. I'm just concerned that he is gearing up for another thyroid storm. I keep telling myself hes not my responsibility but our mutual friends and his lifelong friends have told m he isn't acting like him self. Has anyone else been dumped by a so with graves or anything like it? I just feel like i his disease wasn't in the picture, it would be more black and white. Guy leaves me and my daughter without saying goodbye and runs off with another girl, that would usually be a big F him. But how do I judge someone for these things when they have a condition that affects their mind and body in such a way that thy loos sight of them selves? Since he left me he also stopped going to work and has been making irrational decisions. I'm just worried. I just really hope that he finds happiness and where ever life leads him, that he gets healthy and finds himself again. Are the effects of graves disease permanent or do they go away with time after the RI treatment?
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649848 tn?1534633700
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this...We've had other members who have had similar experiences with loved ones who have/had Graves Disease.  

The thyroid controls several body functions and when the levels are off, it throws the whole body out of kilter.  It does cause severe mood swings, irrationality, depression, anxiety, etc.

Do you know what medication your husband is taking and what dosage he's on?  Is it an anti-thyroid medication?

He should be getting tested regularly for TSH, Free T4 and Free T3... do you know if he's still doing this?  If his thyroid hormone levels are allowed to stay too high for too long, it could damage his heart, eyes, etc. Some effects of Graves Disease may be permanent, some may be reversed with proper treatment.

You mentioned "RI" treatment... Do you mean RAI? That's Radioactive Iodine.  Is he getting that or has he already had it?  RAI, basically, "kills" the thyroid, so it will produce nothing.  This will leave your husband with permanent hypothyroidism, and he will, then, be dependent on replacement thyroid hormones.  The hormone dosage will have to adjusted adequately in order for him to feel his best to function normally.  Again, he will have to be tested periodically for Free T4, Free T3 and TSH to make sure his thyroid hormone levels are maintained adequately so he feels and functions at his best.
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