what is going on with me?

[Applecore]

Here I am again.  not exactly panicing but in stress over what is going on with me.  I feel like I am not in control like I should be.  Before I was confident that this was caused by my thyroid and as it went down I would feel better which is what seems to have happened.  I wasn't taking any loprazam at all and then my thyroid went from 3.5 to 5.6 and I had two weeks of anxiety and then depression feelings and I still can't seem to get it together.  I am taking the L-5HTP which is supposed to be the natural for prozac.  Have been on it 10 days.  The waves of depression are better but the crying about my situation and no knowing what is going on and what will make me better isn't.  I can't even seem to really connect with God who has always been my strength.  When I went to the counselor we found out what the anxiety from a breakdown 30 years ago was and at first I felt great about it and then I had some feeling of terror.  That is better and I haven't been back to her since then because of the holidays.  She said we are getting to core issues and these can be scary.  Can anybody relate to where I am now.  not knowing whether this is caused by the thyroid or maybe the natural prozac isn't good although it seems to be working for the depression part or any suggestions as to what to do that I am not doing.  I am taking lots of supplements for the celiac and not eating eggs.  I am taking the anxiety meds when I feel I need them.  The doctor told me to take them 3 times a day.  Maybe I should do that but I didn't want to depend on them.  It seems it is all in my head and that is hard.  I can get my mind off of the way I feel most of the time but then it comes and scared me.  Can anybody relate.  Chitchat, you have been a great help.   I need to get me under control of a direction that I am going.  I feel the Lord told me give him 6 weeks with the depression and 1 year with the other which a few months have gone by.  Please help if you can.  Please don't tell me just snap out of it although I don't think any of you would do that because most have been there.    linda

[Applecore]

I'm in agreement with you at this point.   There was a time when I wouldn't have agreed about medicine but the Lord has shown me differently.  I do know the anxiety medicine has been the best thing in the world for me and has helped me the most.  I am hoping the natural prozac will work.  Don't quite know about it yet.  I think it is but will know later.  I think all of us want to get on with our lives but sometimes that takes time to figure out how.   Happy New Year   linda

assured:   Our walk with God is a walk of faith.  Without faith we cannot please God.  Whatever you have talked to him about believe that you have it and thank him for it.  If you have asked him to come into your heart and save you then He did.  You don't have to have any special feeling just believe and you will get the confirmation from the Holy Spirit that what you did is real.  You can write me at the top of the page under my profile if you want.   He loves you very much and it is never too late for anybody.    love   linda

[Applecore]

I'm in agreement with you at this point.   There was a time when I wouldn't have agreed about medicine but the Lord has shown me differently.  I do know the anxiety medicine has been the best thing in the world for me and has helped me the most.  I am hoping the natural prozac will work.  Don't quite know about it yet.  I think it is but will know later.  I think all of us want to get on with our lives but sometimes that takes time to figure out how.   Happy New Year   linda

assured:   Our walk with God is a walk of faith.  Without faith we cannot please God.  Whatever you have talked to him about believe that you have it and thank him for it.  If you have asked him to come into your heart and save you then He did.  You don't have to have any special feeling just believe and you will get the confirmation from the Holy Spirit that what you did is real.  You can write me at the top of the page under my profile if you want.   He loves you very much and it is never too late for anybody.    love   linda

[Venora Moonwind]

did you ever think that God let us have these meds so we could feel our best ? just hink where we would have been 50 years ago. we would have been institusionalized and  given shock treatments. dont worry about taking the meds  when they help you. take them and get on with life .
lvoe Venora

[ifupleze]

I accidentally hit the enter button . . . anyway . . . a site called NADH.com.  Sounds like amazing stuff.  Supposed to give you great energy, relieve depression and anxiety, etc., and does not interfere with other medications.  I think  I will call my naturopath and see what he thinks.  It might be worth a try.  I'll let you know.  Happy New Year!

[ifupleze]

I have experienced everything you are talking about.  I just got my results back today and my TSH has dropped to 26, but I think it will take a couple of more weeks to be down to where I should be.  Although, if I am not taking enough synthroid, it will have to be adjusted.  I too feel a little dopey and do not want to do anything except I do sell a lot on ebay which helps with the money and gives me a little something to do.  Otherwise, I just don't have the energy to clean house or draw (I used to do a lot of that) or anything, right now.  Without the DHEA, though, I think I would physically feel a lot worse.  I used to get the tingling in my fingers, but now it is gone.. What is worse is the ringing in my ears . . . terribly annoying.  I have heard about something  called NADH  

[assured]

I so appreciate your encouragement.  If I was to be honest, though, I'd have to say that I really think that I want to be a Christian but it seems like my prayers are falling on deaf ears.  Maybe I've fooled around with the whole thing too long and it's just too late for me.  

I do believe that God will be faithful to you and that you can wholeheartedly depend upon Him if you are His.  So, I know that you will be fine in the long run, just keep taking one step at a time!

Cindy

[Applecore]

If you are not a Christian then becoming one will take care of your fear of death.  I am a Christian and an associate pastor.  He is my strength and my rock and has brought me through long years of a breakdownwithout any medication only Holy Spirit help.  This time when the thyroid problem hit he told me to take the meds as they would keep me safe.  They did until things got better and I didn't have to take them anymore except for the thyroid meds.  I wasn't expecting this anxiety/depression to hit me again and I am having to go back to what he said to me before to be able to cope with what is going on and that is take the meds they will keep me safe until I can get through this new situation.  I am not a medication taker always the Word of God taker.  Icarry an anointed prayer cloth on my body and believe that He is giving me the strength to get through this.      I can understand your not wanting to take the Ativan but it is not a bad medicine at all.  It has been a lifesaver for me and has not kept me from depending on the Lord.  Like He told me it will keep me safe.  I too want the root problems resolved and am going to a Christian counseler that does Theopostic Prayer.  There are not many in Md.  I don't know where you are from.  I read somewhere where God will not let you quit so keep on keeping on and he is so full of love and compassion for us that he will never leave us nor forsake us but will keep working with us until the day of his coming.   The joy of know Christ surpasses all us.  Keep drawing closer to HIm as He is the answer to everything.     love linda

[assured]

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles.  I can really relate to what you are going through.  After suffering from increasing anxiety/panic/health fears over the past years I have determined that my root problem is a fear of death.  I realize that my only hope is a relationship with Christ and I have been going through a "dark night of the soul" over the past week.  I am seeking a relationship with Him and feel as though I am facing a closed door.  I have a prescription for Ativan which I hesitate to take because I want the root problem corrected instead of treating the symptoms.  

Keep seeking God and He will help you.  Hoping that you have a better day today.

Cindy

[Applecore]

I forgot to ask you another question.  With the adrenal glands do your emotions and nerves feel like they are weak and at time can't handle even thinking about anything.  I don't know exactly what causes that.  I also get tingling in my arms or short little shocks at times.  linda

[Applecore]

Thank you for being so understanding C.  mamajuli,  I am also content to stay home and just work on details of my job (I do assisted living at home)  filing, cleaning out cabinets etc.  I really don't want to do anything.  I sit and color when I want to relax.  Sometime my grandkids color with me.  I love to color.  I have a small routine that I do every morning because I learned it from FLYLADY.NET. check it out it is a great site.  She is a Christian and helps with routines and everything.  I have to do medications and sometimes breakfasts in the am also for my ladies.  Most of them go to a center or senior center 3 days a week.   We are trying to get out of doing this after 20 years it isn't easy.  It is going to break their heart as 2 have lived with me 16 years but at this time without my husband having learned to cook, I would be up the creek.  He is helping with everything.  

ifupleze (love that tag)  I think the hemoglobin doesn't have anything to do with the adrenals either.  Your tsh is very high - no wonder you are having anxiety.  My anxiety starts after 9:00 or around 11 also.  my tsh is 5.6.  I am taking lots of supplements and the L-5HTP for the depression.  I think a lot of my stuff right now is from the counseling.  and the thyroid.  I hate to say that but that is what I think.  If I can I will continue with the counseling as eventually it will give me peace  That is what I believe the Lord is leading me to do.  I am doing something called Theopostic Prayer. where God brings up the lie I'm believeing and then speaks the truth to me.  It had been so wonderful but the last time it wasn't.  She said we are getting to core issues and than is why.  Then I had to wait the holidays and it has been hard.  I am taking 1 mg of loprazam.  The 1/2 doesn't seem to help me right now.  I am going to try to take 1 mg 3 times today.  I'm not sure I can do that without being too dopey.  I get a little unsteady on my feet.  It doesn't seem to bother my mind but I am a little drugged feeling and unsteady.  At the beginning of all this the Lord told me to take the medicine as it would keep me safe and He was absolutely right, it did get me through the thyroid part.  Now it has to get me through the counseling part.  I also do some breathing excerises.  They really help also.  You breath in through your nose to the count of 3 (breath from your diaphragm) hold the breath for count of 4 and breath out to the count of 5 through your mouth .  Do this in sets of 3.  You can really feel the oxygen going to your brain and it makes you feel better.  Sometimes I didn't have to take a pill.  Try it.    Thank you all for your help   Linda

[ifupleze]

I have no idea about the hemoglobin and the other thing, all I know was I was tested by saliva test for my adrenals and found out I had adrenal fatigue.  The symptoms are so similar to low thyroid, they could be from either.  My TSH at last reading (ironically) was 56.  I get test results tomorrow after being on synthroid for three weeks.  I take 1/2 mg of ativan, actually, lorazapam, around 11:00 in the morning.  That is when my anxiety starts which is also when my adrenals are the lowest.  Go figure.  I take  my DHEA 5mg at bedtime, for some reason it helps me sleep.  I believe the Vit D3 400IU has really relieved my depression.  In so many words, I am feeling a lot better than I was 4 weeks ago.  Hoping to feel even better to normal, eventually.  Hope this answers your questions.  Anything else I can say to help, just ask.

[ChitChatNine]

Apple:  I understand .... totally understand on your strength from reading right now, etc. (not insulted ..never insulted) ...

Apple & Julie:  I did not go to my 30th high school reunion ... I wasn't sure why but my insides said I really didn't want to go  .. looking back at it now (this was in June) I just was down and not ready to talk about my thryoid woes (or ignore them and play along like all was perfectly fine the past few yrs healthwise) and I don't regret it .. with New Yrs party your friends will understand .... if they don't they aren't real friends!

It does get better ..... sometimes longer than we hoped for, but it does get better at some time.  

Cheryl

[mamajulie]

Girl, I am in the same boat.  For the first time in 38 years I am content (which scares me) on staying at home and being alone. Currently I am hypo. My dumb endo assured me that I would feel so much better after the ablation but I don't. I don't have the anxiety or insomnia which I had with hyper but instead I have no motivation to talk to people, be around people and especially no desire to work. I do private consultations. Instead of praying that the phone would ring for business, I am pleased when it doesn't ring.  Stay close to God, ask him for direction, has I have and still waiting for the right answers to come along. Was up for most of the night last night trying to figure out what to do. If we continue to seek out the answers they will come either through prayer or this forum of knowledgeable people.  You can only take one day as it comes and for some of us, that is enough.  

[Applecore]

Sometimes the philosphers are too much for me. Please don't stop writing to me.  The depression has really been attacking me tonight.  I am on the top of it though but I don't like it at all.  I think it might have something to do with my having to tell my best friend I am not going to have her and her boyfriend to my house tomorrow night for New Years.  It didn't make me feel too good, actually ashamed to be feeling this way.  I don't want to feel anymore like I did today in church.  It was awful until the lorazapam took over.   I could actually feel good tomorrow so who knows.  You are a friend to me and I don't want to offend you.   love linda

[Applecore]

I looked him up and at this time cannot read his writings.  I will have to find something more Christian.  Please don't be insulted but at this time God is what I need.  Thank you for your help.  You really do help me and encourage me.  Love  you all   linda

[ChitChatNine]

Try reading Kahlil Gibran's writings .. he is a philospher .. nobody ever really knew what he was troubled by but his readings can help you heal.  I used to read them and cry for hours after reading them .. you need to let the emotions be felt and crying is ok .. then they will go .. in the meantime they may play havoc with ups downs depression and/or even insomnia.  The Lorazapam will help you alot .. unless it interferes with daily life and makes you too tired I'd try the full dosing as per the Dr and see how it goes.  You are not dependent .. you are healing right now :)

Cheryl

[Applecore]

I hate when I do this, I posted a long response with questions and forgot to post it.  I wanted to ask ifupleze about the adrenal.  Doesn't the hemoglobin and hematocrit have something to do with that?  Mine are both high hemoglobin 15.5 (11.5-15) and hematocrit 44.6 (34.0-44.0).  Also what dose of ativan are you taking.  I find that 1/2 lorazapam doesn't help much at this time.  Also what is you tsh level.  Mine was 5.6.

AR10 -  I think starting tomorrow I will try to take the lorazapam 3 times a day.  How long after taking the thyroid meds can you take it.  I usually wait 2 hours.  I take my levo at either 6 or 7 am and then the lorazapam around 9 if I take it or if I wait until I feel bad it is usually around 11 then I am really a mess.   I cry a lot and then I am ok for a while.  It seems like I am getting worse instead of better at this time.  I am not sure of that.  My husband thinks I am better.  soo    I looked at that link and I don't know if I can handle it right now.  I also find that my emotions and nerves don't want to handle too much.  I try to stay as calm as possible when I feel like that.  Sometimes I am just plain normal.  Can't figure it out.    You both give me hope which I seem to need more often  as this hasn't resolved itself yet.  Thanks for the hope you guys.    linda

[ifupleze]

There are so many of us that can relate.  I went from  hypo to hyper to  hypo and all the time I had deep depression, pulled out of it when I started taking VitD3 400mu a day and DHEA 5 mgs a night, still have anxiety, am on a low dose of ativan for that and waiting for my next lab results when doctor gets back from Xmas vacation.  Hoping to feel better when the TSH levels out.  Hang in there.  Have your adrenals checked, too.  Adrenal fatigue has the same symptoms as low thyroid.  Use your anxiety meds, they do  help and chances are, when you get the thyroid under control, you will no longer need them.  Good luck.

[AR-10]

I can relate to everything you are saying.

The fear of the unknown.
The frustration of not knowing what to do.
The lack of control over what is going on.

Your anxiety issues would be better if you took the anxiety meds three times a day. I know you don't want to depend on them, but it sounds like right now you need to.

At least you have a therapist to talk to. Although it sounds like right now that is part of the problem.

What is being done about your thyroid hormones? Until you can get your TSH and T4 where they need to be you are going to feel this way. And then for another month or more.

You are not alone. Post when you feel down. It helps.
Hope you feel better soon.

Try this link. You may find some information that will help you.

http://thyroidhost.proboards30.com/index.cgi?board=Talk5&action=display&thread=1197486746