When I think of an embarrassing moment (whether it be real or imaginary) I will blurt out a swear, or perhaps a sentence like, "I love you (insert name)". I believe I do that as a means to "snap me out of" the moment so as not to re-experience the feelings the embarrassment caused, or causes, or to just end the momentary thought before it completes.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.
Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.
I have had the same thing happening to me when I'm alone. I'll have an embarrassing thuoght or a shamfull thought of a past event. At that moment where the thought make me fell bad or embarrassed I burt out my wife's name and somtimes the word "help". There are time's that curse words will be in a sentence. Latey I have been blurting with the wife in the roomm with words and phrases like "goddammit" and "oh my god" and she'll ask me "what?" and I'll feel embarrassed and roll out some excuse for what I said, Like "man today was a long day" My mind is always filled with useless thuoght's. I've been having truoble latley finishing anything at work or at home without stoping and starting somthing eles that i'll never finish. ADD, ADHD, Tourette's whatever it is I have atleast acknowleged it.
If it is Tourettes there are medications that can help control it and some of the other symptoms you mentioned remind me of Bipolar. Fourtunately, if it is Bipolar,the drugs used for Bipolar are also used for Tourettes; antiphysoctics. There has been research done possibly linking Tourettes and Bipolar. I would certainly go see a doc about it.
Normally Tourettes begins in late childhood thru early 20's . Anyway, best to both of you and I hope you can get some help soon.
I have mild Tourettes and I do get stuff like that, in that I say random words or phrases during periods of silence or irrelevant conversation. the most humiliating one for me at the moment is shouting 't!tties' especially being a girl!! That has been going on a couple of months after I heard it on someone's ringtone.It annoys me because people just think I'm a freak but I do find it a bit funny too. But getting to the point I find Tourettes at its worst always has to say the most embarrasing thing or noise at the most wrong of times!!
hey my names annie i have tourettes too i no what you meen it like you think of something and it comes out as a tic and ive had a really bad t.s tic saying really offensiva tics its sooo annoying becoss people just look at you like your a peace of rubish im 13 and my t.s is getting bader butt i gess it something im going to have all my life love annie :)
I have this too! And, I live in the same fear of looking foolish or wrecking my relationship. We’re not alone- try googling “Compelled to blurt” (or check here: http://ask.metafilter.com/97265/Compelled-to-Blurt) there’s tons of people experiencing the same thing. They’re calling it Wince Words. Zenfulways2009, you’re the first person that’s speculated that blurting out might be a way “snap out” of the moment- I know the feeling! It’s exactly like snapping out.
I only blurt out if I’ve drifted off in thought AND I’m thinking of something embarrassing. Usually this is while doing something alone and mindless like showering or driving. If my body is occupied doing motor skills and my mind wanders to an embarrassing thought WHAMO I involuntarily blurt out a noise, a phrase, or I sing a part of a song that might be playing on the radio. For particularly embarrassing memories I sometimes catch myself screaming out the “wince words” and the blurting-out snaps me back to reality (and then have to sit there feeling embarrassed that I’ve just screamed). The fact we snap back to reality is key. If it was tourettes wouldn’t it happen all the time and not just when we’re mentally wandering? On the other hand I’ve heard that tourettes is like a verbal tic, and that makes sense to me because sometimes when I blurt I also make a strange face or jerk my head.
When we dream our mind becomes cut off from our body right? Well, daydreaming might be like dreaming but not deep enough... something about an embarrassing moment causes the flood gate to open and our mouth involuntarily blurts out a sound that was supposed to be suppressed- hearing the sound brings us to. But I wonder, why come to? And why not blurt out for other memories like love, fear, sadness? Why is it always embarrassment?
I wish I had answers. I’ve been noticing (and hiding) this for a few years now and I’m worried it’s getting worse. I’ve been doing a lot more public speaking lately and that’s certainly providing me with embarrassing moments to relive. I’m also much more stressed out at work which means I’m tired more often and that gives me occasion to mentally wander... in public... during meetings... where blurting out is certainly inappropriate! If only I could change my wince words into a cough I might be able to get away with it but unfortunately I seem to just blurt out some random words (or on occasion the exgirlfriend’s name and proclamation of love/hate).
I’m going to take a previous poster’s advice and talk through all my embarrassing moments with close friends, my plan is to “work through” each memory in the hopes of “letting it go”. I also had to come clean and admit the blurting thing to my wife. Luckily I had this and the “compelled to blurt” post to back me up :) In case readers are wondering... in all other respects I’m a healthy, well educated, well functioning person in my late 30s. Man I hope someone figures this out! I’ll volunteer for the study!
Wow I realize I'm 3 years behind the last comment but I was so relieved to read all the testimonials here that I feel I want to contribute my experiences with this annoying phenomenon.
Whenever I'm alone doing something mundane or mechanical like getting dressed driving or using the bathroom I let my mind wander like most people do. When I inevitably arrive at a thought or memory that embarrasses me I will generally blurt out a quick curse or inappropriate phrase without control. It's usually one of a small hand full of things I seem to go to. Usually it's "f** you" or "I hate you" or " I'll kill you" real fun stuff like that. Most the time I will incorporate the N word into any one of these fun sayings or just let it fly on its own. I'm embarrassed of the "n" word most of all. it really troubles me to hear me say it. I'm white. I swear I'm not racist.
I second guess myself and wonder if there is some deep subconscious racism in me that comes to the surface in these moments. I think it might have more to do when I once said it in front of a group friends and was mortified, ever since then it's been my my top tier material.
Sometimes when I'm alone with my girlfriend watching tv or driving I catch myself doing it and try to stop it as I start, and she will ask me what I was saying and ill just start a conversation about something random or try to shrug her off with a "nothing" fortunately I haven't used the last one around her.
I think I have had this problem longer than I realized but it seems to be more on my mind, or worse for the last couple of years. I am 30, employed, and otherwise sane and liked.
There is a history of depression and borderline personality disorder in my family. I have been seeing a therapist for depression for the past 6 months, and she recommended I take Wellbutrin. I have been taking it with good results as far as depression goes but the blurting continues. Up until now I haven't mentioned it to her because I have been afraid to. Thanks to this thread, I feel like I can talk about it now.
thank you for posting this. I have struggled with that exact issue for so long. It started when i was in about 2nd or 3rd and they put me in detention for "disrupting" class a few times. Back then it was just sudden throaty noises...I couldn't hear myself doing it and I couldn't control it.
Then one day it just stopped. Over the years, I noticed my mother would suddenly say things out of nowhere but only while doing housework, computer work or getting herself ready to go out of the house. She will say the first part loud then finish it as a sentence, like she meant to say it but I know she doesn't mean to say these things. She still does it.
I'm not sure when I started to say random words and phrases but I either didn't realize or didn't accept that it was involuntary. I don't want to spend my days covering it up like my mother seems to. I finally had to type into the search bar what I was going through and this forum popped up on top. Now, I hope I am brave enough to get evaluated or find a natural way to get help for this problem.
Also, your wife should be understanding as long as she knows you have tourette's or bipolar.If not, still get help knowing that God is someone you can turn to when others let us down. I know if it turns out I have something like this, my spouse will not understand to the point of putting me down. I just have to pray for strength and long suffering.
Damn it feels awesome knowing I'm not slowly losing my mind. Or if I am, I'm not the only one. But now I'm more curious to our shared problem. Why are all of us saying the same things? There has to be a reason we only say we love/ hate something or someone, or just start cussing. Most of us even share the same muscle ticks. Why is this? Do we all share some traits we aren't mentioning? I read that it happens to creative more imaginative people. I'm into photography, writing, play guitar and other string instruments. Im highly comedic, maybe that's some kind of connection. Does anyone else have any of this stuff in common? More importantly how can I make this stop? Meditation works sometimes but it more often then not it just gives my mind a chance to go out of control. I really want this to stop. I hate it. It's getting worse. I'm having trouble controlling it in public. At work I've taken to staying away from co-workers because I don't know when it's coming sometimes. As long as I'm active my mind doesn't seem to snap. Only when I'm not focusing. Does that mean I need to be busy in some activity to get through this? What do I do when I'm trying to sleep? Laying in bed saying "I wish, love or hate someone. The 4 hours of sleep I get a night trying to not to think is really getting old. When I wake up I have to goal of just trying not to say any names out loud.
I'm 30 and single so maybe I deep down I have this problem until I fall in love or something but as I'm starting to see from other writers is that it doesn't stop for them. That's probably the worst news I found out.
I will let someone study me if they could do something to help me with half of the outburst.
At least I'm not the only one. At least I know I'm not going crazy. I so glad I'm not going crazy.
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