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Embarrasing Thoughts Make Me Blurt Out Things
When I think of an embarrassing moment (whether it be real or imaginary) I will blurt out a swear, or perhaps a sentence like, "I love you (insert name)". I believe I do that as a means to "snap me out of" the moment so as not to re-experience the feelings the embarrassment caused, or causes, or to just end the momentary thought before it completes.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.

Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.
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I have had the same thing happening to me when I'm alone. I'll have an embarrassing  thuoght or a shamfull thought of a past event. At that moment where the thought make me fell bad or embarrassed I burt out my wife's name and somtimes the word "help". There are time's that curse words will be in a sentence. Latey I have been blurting with the wife in the roomm with words and phrases like "goddammit" and "oh my god" and she'll ask me "what?" and I'll feel embarrassed and roll out some excuse for what I said, Like "man today was a long day" My mind is always filled with useless thuoght's. I've been having truoble latley finishing anything at work or at home without stoping and starting somthing eles that i'll never finish. ADD, ADHD, Tourette's whatever it is I have atleast acknowleged it.
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1192491 tn?1265035429
If it is Tourettes there are medications that can help control it and  some of the other symptoms you mentioned remind me of Bipolar.  Fourtunately, if it is Bipolar,the drugs used for Bipolar are also used for Tourettes; antiphysoctics. There has been research done possibly linking Tourettes and Bipolar.   I would certainly go see a doc about it.
Normally Tourettes begins in late childhood thru early 20's .  Anyway, best to both of you and I hope you can get some help soon.
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I have mild Tourettes and I do get stuff like that, in that I say random words or phrases during periods of silence or irrelevant conversation. the most humiliating one for me at the moment is shouting  't!tties' especially being a girl!! That has been going on a couple of months after I heard it on someone's ringtone.It annoys me because people just think I'm a freak but I do find it a bit funny too. But getting to the point I find Tourettes at its worst always has to say the most embarrasing thing or noise at the most wrong of times!!
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hey my names annie i have tourettes too i no what you meen it like you think of something and it comes out as a tic and ive had a really bad t.s tic saying really offensiva tics its sooo annoying becoss people just look at you like your a peace of rubish im 13 and my t.s is getting bader  butt i gess it something im going to have all my life  love annie :)
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I have this too! And, I live in the same fear of looking foolish or wrecking my relationship. We’re not alone- try googling “Compelled to blurt” (or check here: http://ask.metafilter.com/97265/Compelled-to-Blurt) there’s tons of people experiencing the same thing. They’re calling it Wince Words. Zenfulways2009, you’re the first person that’s speculated that blurting out might be a way “snap out” of the moment- I know the feeling! It’s exactly like snapping out.

I only blurt out if I’ve drifted off in thought AND I’m thinking of something embarrassing. Usually this is while doing something alone and mindless like showering or driving. If my body is occupied doing motor skills and my mind wanders to an embarrassing thought WHAMO I involuntarily blurt out a noise, a phrase, or I sing a part of a song that might be playing on the radio. For particularly embarrassing memories I sometimes catch myself screaming out the “wince words” and the blurting-out snaps me back to reality (and then have to sit there feeling embarrassed that I’ve just screamed). The fact we snap back to reality is key. If it was tourettes wouldn’t it happen all the time and not just when we’re mentally wandering? On the other hand I’ve heard that tourettes is like a verbal tic, and that makes sense to me because sometimes when I blurt I also make a strange face or jerk my head.
When we dream our mind becomes cut off from our body right? Well, daydreaming might be like dreaming but not deep enough... something about an embarrassing moment causes the flood gate to open and our mouth involuntarily blurts out a sound that was supposed to be suppressed- hearing the sound brings us to. But I wonder, why come to? And why not blurt out for other memories like love, fear, sadness? Why is it always embarrassment?

I wish I had answers. I’ve been noticing (and hiding) this for a few years now and I’m worried it’s getting worse. I’ve been doing a lot more public speaking lately and that’s certainly providing me with embarrassing moments to relive. I’m also much more stressed out at work which means I’m tired more often and that gives me occasion to mentally wander... in public... during meetings... where blurting out is certainly inappropriate! If only I could change my wince words into a cough I might be able to get away with it but unfortunately I seem to just blurt out some random words (or on occasion the exgirlfriend’s name and proclamation of love/hate).

I’m going to take a previous poster’s advice and talk through all my embarrassing moments with close friends, my plan is to “work through” each memory in the hopes of “letting it go”. I also had to come clean and admit the blurting thing to my wife. Luckily I had this and the “compelled to blurt” post to back me up :) In case readers are wondering... in all other respects I’m a healthy, well educated, well functioning person in my late 30s. Man I hope someone figures this out! I’ll volunteer for the study!
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Wow I realize I'm 3 years behind the last comment but I was so relieved to read all the testimonials here that I feel I want to contribute my experiences with this annoying phenomenon.
Whenever I'm alone doing something mundane or mechanical like getting dressed driving or using the bathroom I let my mind wander like most people do. When I inevitably arrive at a thought or memory that embarrasses me I will generally blurt out a quick curse or inappropriate phrase without control. It's usually one of a small hand full of things I seem to go to. Usually it's "f** you" or "I hate you" or " I'll kill you" real fun stuff like that. Most the time I will incorporate the N word into any one of these fun sayings or just let it fly on its own. I'm embarrassed of the "n" word most of all. it really troubles me to hear me say it.  I'm white. I swear I'm not racist.
I second guess myself and wonder if there is some deep subconscious racism in me that comes to the surface in these moments. I think it might have more to do when I once said it in front of a group friends and was mortified, ever since then it's been my my top tier material.
Sometimes when I'm alone with my girlfriend watching tv or driving I catch myself doing it and try to stop it as I start, and she will ask me what I was saying and ill just start a conversation about something random or try to shrug her off with a "nothing" fortunately I haven't used the last one around her.
I think I have had this problem longer than I realized but it seems to be more on my mind, or worse for the last couple of years. I am 30, employed, and otherwise sane and liked.
There is a history of depression and borderline personality disorder in my family. I  have been seeing a therapist for depression for the past 6 months, and she recommended I take Wellbutrin. I have been taking it with good results as far as depression goes but the blurting continues. Up until now I haven't mentioned it to her because I have been afraid to. Thanks to this thread, I feel like I can talk about it now.
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thank you for posting this. I have struggled with that exact issue for so long. It started when i was in about 2nd or 3rd and they put me in detention for "disrupting" class a few times. Back then it was just sudden throaty noises...I couldn't hear myself doing it and I couldn't control it.  
Then one day it just stopped. Over the years, I noticed my mother would suddenly say things out of nowhere but only while doing housework, computer work or getting herself ready to go out of the house. She will say the first part loud then finish it as a sentence, like she meant to say it but I know she doesn't mean to say these things. She still does it.
I'm not sure when I started to say random words and phrases but I either didn't realize or didn't accept that it was involuntary. I don't want to spend my days covering it up like my mother seems to. I finally had to type into the search bar what I was going through and this forum popped up on top. Now, I hope I am brave enough to get evaluated or find a natural way to get help for this problem.

Also, your wife should be understanding as long as she knows you have tourette's or bipolar.If not, still get help knowing that God is someone you can turn to when others let us down. I know if it turns out I have something like this, my spouse will not understand to the point of putting me down. I just have to pray for strength and long suffering.
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Damn it feels awesome knowing I'm not slowly losing my mind. Or if I am, I'm not the only one. But now I'm more curious to our shared problem. Why are all of us saying the same things? There has to be a reason we only say we love/ hate something or someone, or just start cussing. Most of us even share the same muscle ticks. Why is this? Do we all share some traits we aren't mentioning? I read that it happens to creative more imaginative people. I'm into photography, writing, play guitar and other string instruments. Im highly comedic, maybe that's some kind of connection.  Does anyone else have any of this stuff in common?   More importantly how can I make this stop? Meditation works sometimes but it more often then not it just gives my mind a chance to go out of control. I really want this to stop. I hate it. It's getting worse. I'm having trouble controlling it in public. At work I've taken to staying away from co-workers because I don't know when it's coming sometimes. As long as I'm active my mind doesn't seem to snap. Only when I'm not focusing. Does that mean I need to be busy in some activity to get through this? What do I do when I'm trying to sleep? Laying in bed saying "I wish, love or hate someone. The 4 hours of sleep I get a night trying to not to think is really getting old. When I wake up I have to goal of just trying not to say any names out loud.
I'm 30 and single so maybe I deep down I have this problem until I fall in love or something but as I'm starting to see from other writers is that it doesn't stop for them. That's probably the worst news I found out.  
I will let someone study me if they could do something to help me with half of the outburst.
At least I'm not the only one. At least I know I'm not going crazy. I so glad I'm not going crazy.
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I'm not crazy!!! yeahh!! I have the exact same issue. For me it started when I was 20, blurting my ex boyfriend name out of nothing. Then after few years it changed to a different boyfriend name who I really don't miss or think about at all. Later, it changed to mom, yes, to mom, hahahha. It comes sometimes as I hate you, or I'm going to kill you... It happens when I think about an embarrasing situation where I look or feel guilty or stupid. As someone else commented on this chat, I'm a creative person, I'm into design and drawing (not sure if that is related or not). I'm 31 now and happy to know that I'm not alone in this world!!
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I forgot to say, some other of the phrases I say are: ''I'm going to die'', I'm going to go away'', ''do you love me?'' ''I want to go (insert country name)''. I think all of these reflects that maybe the solution is to face those embarrasing moments by going thru them and forgiving ourselves for being fool or doing something wrong.....
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I am 53 and just started noticing that I do this about 5 years ago. I do it just before I go to sleep, every time I wake up in the night I say something out loud. ( gets embarrassing on trips when I stay with friends in hotels). I also do it during the day, especially when alone and not working. Sometimes it is a cuss word, sometimes what ever I am thinking about. How can we quit doing it?
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I am SO happy to find this post!!  It is so encouraging to know that I'm not the only one, that others have my exact symptoms, and that it's beginning to make sense!  I first started noticing myself blurting about 2 years ago.  I thought I was going crazy or was having a mental breakdown or something.  I have no history of anything and have never been on any meds or anything.  I was teaching in a particularly stressful position at the time and was having relationship problems so I related it all to stress.  It would get worse, then reside a little bit.  But then I noticed it even when I wasn't that stressed out.  It seemed to be getting worse.  I was scared I would do it in front of someone, I hadn't yet.  I would always blurt "I love you Dwayne".  Dwayned was a guy that was an awkward acquaintance that I had a strange friendship with, and never dated.  I certainly didn't love him.  I was afraid someone was going to hear me say that and wonder why I was saying I loved him.  I would consciously try to repeat something better whenever it would happen, for example if I had blurted "I love you Dwayne" I would immediately talk to myself, saying "no you don't".  And try to suggest to myself to say something else if I had to say anything at all, like, "this is great" or whatever would be less conspicuous.  But it never worked.  Then I had an epiphany moment.  I realized that whenever I blurted, it was during a time when I was thinking about something I was embarrassed or ashamed of or thought I should have done differently or acted differently concerning.  I realized that I was being a perfectionist and being hard on myself for these situations that were replaying in my mind. So I wonder if mostly perfectionistic and type A people do this blurting stuff. I really identified with the earlier post where the person said it helps to work through these situations by talking to a person about it.  I need to do that.  Or at least start writing it out in my journal, writing about thoughts helps me so much.  I've also noticed that I do it alot more when I'm anxed up on caffeine or brain stimulants like msg or maltodextrin....for some reason those make my mind go in overdrive and I blurt more.  When I get into a blurting season,  I drink a lot of water, go for a hike to pump things out or exercise real hard, and it seems to help put things back to normal.  So for now this Is my road to a cure.... reduce stress with exercise and eating healthy and drinking lots of water, talk to a friend or write out all embarrassing or anxiety causing situations, and stop thinking that I have to be perfect in all situations.
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PLEASE SEARCH on : TOURETTE SYNDROME AND MAGNESIUM .
Mg deficiency is an underlying cause to Tourette syndrome.
Please check You Tube and Google . Hopefully you all could find help with your health issues.
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I am relieved to find others suffering from the same embarrassing problem. I have been doing this for some time now, atleast 15 years or that is when I first noticed it. I am 38 years old.
I used to do a lot of recreational drugs, l.s.d, ecstasy, weed in my late teens and early twenties until I had a very bad l.s.d trip which brought on panic attack disorder. This made me became very introspective and the constant battle to fend off the panic was waged by talking to myself incessantly (not out aloud) and thinking and more thinking - I was in a constant state of panic for two years and I believe at this time I picked up the habit of blurting words or sounds out whenever I thought of a situation where I had embarrassed myself or had made a silly decision. Generally I use the 'F' word as in 'f it', 'f sakes' 'mother f'er', 'gonna f that *****' or say ' love you', 'hate it/you/xxx' or sometimes just make a weird noise. I also sing, generally a song that is current/popular, except I've never been good at remembering lyrics so I end up substituting some of the lyrics with my own random words - SUPER EMBARRESSING! I also sometimes hum a random tune. I am fully aware that I do this to stop my train of thought. The irony that in the course of trying to stop recalling an embarrassing moment I end up embarrassing myself is not lost on me.
Since I became aware of it I have sometimes been able to stop myself but most of the time not.
I have never considered or taken note of a physical tic until reading a post on this page but I do have one: usually a 'tsk' and a slight shake/jerk of the head as I blurt - sometimes I won't blurt but just tsk and shake my head.
I am currently on medication for depression and anxiety (Sertraline 100mg for about 6 weeks now) and receiving therapy. I had previously been on the SSRI called Aropax for about a year and a half when I was 25. (This left me with brain zaps which I get occasionally and also may be a possible alternative cause of the blurting). I have never brought this up my my doctor as I've just kind of accepted it as probably a residual effect of the bad trip but I do hate it! It's difficult to keep trying to cover it up or make up random stories to explain it away.
I wouldn't consider myself very artistic although I can draw better than the average non artistic person and have artistic tendencies for example I really enjoy photography and am starting guitar lessons soon and have learnt/played piano before although I have forgotten it mostly now unfortunately.
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4670047 tn?1375734001
Hey!!  Unfortunately this forum runs extremely slow or to be honest it looks dead! But I guess if you just want to tell your story it's great! My son is 38 and has Tourrettes. No medication, no resolve. He has mainly taken street drugs to self medicate. So not much to say there.
Congratulations on trying to understand this! It's a long road, but you sound like you would like to get help. I do know that it requires the correct medication, and the precise dose. So you won't sleep all day.  It's also best (if possible) to see a Neurologist. If not possible ask the doctor that's prescribing your current meds if he knows anything about Tourette's.

The beginning of this thread is from 2009, maybe you can start a new one if you want to. Top of the page "post question".


Anyway very best to you Panic!!!! Nice to read your story!!! Keep searching your not alone!!! :):).  
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I get the same thing, glad to have found this post. I'm in my mid twenties and noticed it for the last 7-8 years, mainly after drinking. In the last while its gotten worse though, and I've blurted out random things when others were around. Have tried magnesium, but didn't have any effect. Glad to see I'm not totally losing my mind though
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same thing happens to me, except that i keep saying "i wanna get married" im 24 and single and yes i want to marry, but not to this extent!

i also think i can solve the problem because i wasn't like this when i was in high school or the beginning years of college.

i will try to keep a journal, i remember this helped me in the past.

in the past, i used to hit myself ( my head and my face) if i thought about something embarrassing

after i started writing my thoughts down i suddenly stopped doing it, so i'll try the same thing now.

thank you for sharing and believe me i am sane and i don't believe i have any kind of disorder!!
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I am so happy that I found this discussion board. I have been searching on-line for years now trying to find someone who has a similar involuntary blurting problems and now I see a lot of people suffer from the same curse. Laurataylor347 I have the exact same problem blurting out my ex's names eventho I am totally not into them now and I have a boyfriend of three years now that I love so much. Thankfully I never blurted out anything in front of him (at least while I am awake). But now I blurt things like "Do you love me?" or "Do you like me?" which makes me sound totally pathetic and clingy when it comes out more than one time during a sitting. And yes now I blurt out mom I love you and so forth. My mom used to get so surprised when I was in my twenties and there would be people sitting and I would blurt out my ex's name and say I love you afterwards. It mostly happens when my mind is full of random thoughts that I cannot seam to organize in my head or when I feel embarrassed or lonely. Now my mom seems to have gotten used to me saying my exboyfriend's name who I dated when I was 17. That was twenty years ago! It didn't end well and I was deeply in love with him. Then another dude came along and I also fell in love and this story also ended badly. These are the only two boyfriends that I blurt out their names out loud. The good guys have not gotten the verbal glory. BTW I am also a graphic artist / painter.

I really really do want to get rid of this bad habit. It bothers me so much and I feel desperate after I blurt things out as well as vulnerable/ emotionally naked. I am usually a deep well, no secrets come out unless I really really trust someone. Some secrets will be taken with me to the grave and I would not like them to be blurted out to strangers....or maybe this would be the solution. Just talk to strangers who will not judge you as badly as close ppl. I like three pieces of advise here and will try them out: 1) Meditation 2) Magnesium 3)go through my embarrassing moments maybe in a diary or with a therapist and forgive myself.
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1048831 tn?1253657096
Hi,
I have mild (so far) touretts that was caused by light brain and nerve damage involving Zanax OD, and I am not bipolar. I have depression, fear of crowds in tight situations, and performance anxiety. I have some of the main signs/symptoms. It usually  only happens when I am either asleep (uncontrollable and often furtive gestures, and unintelligible words/sentences) or when very anxious/nervous, etc., and my mental health dept. has seen the blurting out of explicitives, and furtive hand gestures (shooting the bird at those who have upset me). I don't realize I have done this (especially when in public in crowded conditions). I sometimes experience a jerking of shoulders (does not effect my driving as it does not apparently effect the arms or hands).
They (local mental health is afraid to put me on more than I am already taken due to the weird reactions I have to medications. They have been monitoring me since the OD which literally almost killed me, and are keeping tabs on health issues as well as other meds I have to take. Most of the time I am like anyone else, but when vexxed, all bets  are off.
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Hi.
So glad to read all these posts. I started noticing it about 2 years ago (I’m 33).
Usually when I had a hangover and thinking about the night before. Some of the things I did or said which I found embarrassing would cause me to blurt out something like "you idiot" or even "I love you ___" usually some ex.  I just come to expect it now with a hangover but it does happen randomly when I think of something on sitting on my own. I have managed to control it in public so far.
I always thought blurting out something like “you idiot” was kind of understandable as I thought it was a verbal form of self-harm (not that I have ever done that physically) or being uncomfortable with myself. But have no idea what the “ I love you ___” is about!
I have had anxiety issues my whole live but I haven’t been on medication as I’m pretty familiar with it now and can work through most situations. Also creative too working in animation.
Was really nervous about researching this as I wasn’t sure if I was losing my marbles or on the verge of a mental breakdown.   Do any of you find it comes or goes or does it continue to get worse?  
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9620576 tn?1404882444
I know this post is pretty old, but it comes as a huge relief to me to see someone else, well, many others, who suffer from a similar situation. I'm 15, when ever I remember something incredibly embarrassing, or something I wish I could forget forever, I usually blurt out a cuss word. As well as other things people here mentioned like: "I hate you," "you idiot," or even "are you an idiot." I find myself doing this every single day, and I wish it would stop. I've never been professionally diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, I don't believe I have it. This has only been happening as of recently. I don't know what it is. I can't speak for everyone, but maybe we are incredibly sensitive, and the feeling of embarrassment and shame is so strong we blurt out something in order to suppress the feeling of embarrassment and shame. At least that's how I feel/ see it.
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Add me to this exact phenomena.  I'm 51 and about 7 years ago, I began blurting out "I love you, mom!" each time I remembered something embarassing (my mother was and, of course, is deceased).  After a year, it changed to my ex-girlfriend's name wherein I would remember something embarassing then and I'd say out loud "I love you, Kim."  Still happens everything I think of something embarassing while not prepared.  If I know something embarassing is coming, I can stop the urge.  Also, sometimes, it changes to "do you love me?"  But mostly, "I love you, Kim." ~Andrew
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I have the same, I'm 48, and have had it for years but it's getting worse. Whenever recalling an embarrassing moment I do a little shake of my head and blurt out "No!"
Luckily I have a supportive husband who doesn't get fed up with me doing this, I also do it when I am allowing my mind to wander say, as a car passenger etc.
I also mutter other things, thankfully not swear words, but random words.
It is horrible and I wish I could stop doing it, but I'm grateful to read of other people's experiences.
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I certainly did not expect to see that others experience the almost identical thing I've been going through. It's pretty amazing, really.

Like the other posters, I get flooded with embarrassing thoughts of something I did in my past that I regret. It usually happens when I'm alone and doing some mindless task... Like driving a car, brushing my teeth, exercising etc. these thoughts are usually very trivial in the grand scheme of things.

When this happens I find myself yelling out the same few sentences every time. It's usually 'my sister came over' which I have absolutely no idea why this would come out of my mouth. Like others said, sometimes I say 'I wanna die.' Which I think is a reaction to how stupid and embarrassed I feel at the moment.

I guess I should add that I was diagnosed bipolar 2. My depressive episodes are out of control. At my lowest I was not functional and, like often happens with mental illness, negatively effected the lives of the people I care about. This in itself feels me with guilt and embarrassment. Before I got some help I self medicated with alcohol.

I've found a good combo of drugs that have helped immensely. But it hasn't
helped this 'issue.' I know some of you believe it's Tourette's among other things. Maybe it is. My pdoc believes it a combo of anxiety and OCD.

I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences. It's really encouraging to see others going through the same thing.

I have one question: has anyone asked a doctor what this is a symptom of? I'm just interested to hear. Thanks.
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I don't have Tourette's (or maybe I do??) but I have ADD, so my mind always has a million thoughts. It drifts back to embarrassing memories quite often but it's usually when I'm alone with my thoughts, such as in bed (I have insomnia) or in the shower. So nobody knows I have this problem. What happens is that I feel the discomfort and burning embarrassment/shame of that memory, which immediately provokes a huge compulsion to get out of that frame of mind so I might start swearing, saying gibberish such as Aargh, No no no no no or lalalala or some lyrics to a random song that's been stuck on my mind recently, or say I love you. I usually squeeze my eyes shut at the same time, as one might when cringing after witnessing something awkward.

Other than this I don't have any of the physical symptoms of Tourette's, so I'm not really sure what it is I have. But I'm relieved to find that I'm no isolated case.

Already as it is, due to impatience and impulsivity from my ADHD, I tend to like swearing more than the average person. But I've never ever done it out of context, or towards someone who's pissed me off as it's against my nature to hurt others' feelings. So I feel like I do exercise restraint in social circumstances. But in the situations of embarrassing memories, blurting out random things is something I feel I *have* to do in order to drive the thought away.
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Like others, I am so happy to have found this discussion, because I do exactly the same thing. And have done so for a very long time (I'm 48 now). A lot of times, I notice it in the morning, when I'm lying in bed... thinking random thoughts. Then I hit on an embarrassing moment, or something I'm not proud of doing or not doing, and I blurt out something... usually it's just a whisper, and it's usually pretty horrible ("I hate myself," or "I wish I was dead." When it happens later in the day, I do it louder (and in those cases, there's more profanity involved, especially "the c-word," which I loathe and despise and would never use consciously)... and sometimes I even physically flip the bird, without being able to stop it. It happens while I'm shopping, or walking the dog... even driving. The other day, I did it in my elevator, and when the door opened, the UPS guy was standing there... he said, "I hate myself, too." Which made me really sad... because I don't think I really do hate myself. Mostly, it's embarrassing... especially when my boyfriend or a friend hears it. (Like others in this discussion group, I try to cover it up... sometimes it works, but sometimes not & I think it just makes me look like I'm nuts.) I've also been in therapy, but crazily I have *never* opened up about this to a therapist. Which is weird, because I try to be very open with therapists. But I just never think to bring it up, even though it's a pretty large part of my life. I'm going to do some more Googling on "wince words" to see if there are any therapies used to "fix" this (I have been on Wellbutrin for years, but it doesn't seem to have any affect on this problem). If there I find anything in my search, I'll report back. But I am SO thankful to have found this discussion! I don't feel so scared and alone with this problem anymore.
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Again, it is relieving to view all of these posts and know that I am not an isolated case. I'm 17 and first noticed the compulsion about 4 months ago. Most of the time I'll blurt something unintelligible and/or make some sort of bodily jerk, whether it be my head, legs, arms, squinting my eyes, etc. Other times I'll blurt the ending of a sentence as I'm thinking it while simultaneously experiencing an embarrassing thought (I did exactly that as I was writing this). I am not diagnosed with any psychological disorder but I have been subjected to higher levels of stress recently, as it is junior year and I've adopted multiple AP classes. As it stands, the occurrence is more or less daily and only when my mind is left. Addressing an earlier conjecture that this affects mostly individuals with artistic dispositions, I'm a more mathematically and scientifically oriented person that enjoys computer science and software development. I'd enjoy discovering a possible explanation for this condition.
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I have the same exact issue.  I do not know if I have ADHD or Tourette's.  (Although I do tend to be a little bit hyperactive and have trouble focusing sometimes).  When I am thinking to myself of a situation I have encountered that is embarrassing, or even my behavior in certain instances (even if not overtly embarrassing), I say the phrase "I'm in love with you sweetie!"  involuntarily aloud.  I think it is my mind trying to snap out of it.  Sometimes my wife asks what I said, and I have to say 'nothing", and that in itself is embarrassing or hard to explain.  Occasionally, when alone, in my vehicle, I will also swear aloud in that phrase forcefully.  It's weird not being able to control these outbursts.  I have a young child, so I do not want this to happen around him especially.  I do think the incidence of occurrence increases with stresses in my life.  
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This is so me and I'm 60 years old. I have had this issue for many years, I just blurt out random things  when I'm reliving a moment of embarrassment   Usually say things like I love you and  add a name of my current partner of an ex from many years ago, the other thing I say is my adults daughters name calling her a ***** or I say saysomeones name and then say I'm pregnant.  Stupid things that have no meaning and are totally out of context.  It seems to be getting worse as I get older and for many years I've covered it up but  now i'm at home more often with my husband with more idle time as we are empty nesters he seems to be more aware of the issue and I'm getting caught out more and more. I don't know what to do or who to talk and would love for it to stop.
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15975549 tn?1444375954
Hello, I'm new here, an empty nester and old enough to know the blurtng is here to stay. Lexapro does nothing. I'm less embarrassed now that I'm older and I talk about it with my sons and husband who take it as just another harmless quirk I have. Glad to see the board liven up. My doc does not label the blurting as Tourettes, rather a way to quell anxiety. I think our inner critic is taking part in the act too, nasty b-$%^rd! Thanks to everyone for sharing. We are not so alone ... or unique. Sometimes I wonder how all these mental illnesses survived ... that nature would have weeded them out in our evolutionary process. Onward.
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15975549 tn?1444375954
Hello, I'm new here, an empty nester and old enough to know the blurtng is here to stay. Lexapro does nothing. I'm less embarrassed now that I'm older and I talk about it with my sons and husband who take it as just another harmless quirk I have. Glad to see the board liven up. My doc does not label the blurting as Tourettes, rather a way to quell anxiety. I think our inner critic is taking part in the act too, nasty b-$%^rd! Thanks to everyone for sharing. We are not so alone ... or unique. Sometimes I wonder how all these mental illnesses survived ... that nature would have weeded them out in our evolutionary process. Onward.
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I too am grateful for this thread. It seems to have been going for 6 years now, but is still alive so I'm glad we all found this place to reassure us we are not crazy!

My random blurts started out as a mixture of 'F$&% you a$$hole, I hate you' and 'I love you, sweetie pie!'. I know that the 'sweetie pie' refers to my ex-boyfriend as this is what we called each other, so I do share that trend of it being about my ex which is commonly mentioned in this thread. Thankfully, I have never yelled out his actual name, as I'm currently happily married like many of you. Over the past three years, my blurts have expanded to include variations such as 'F you a$$hole', 'Sh*t, F$&%, I love you', 'F$&% you a-hole', 'F you sweetie pie, I love you' etc.

Like many of you who have commented already, I am also not one to swear in this way in day to day conversation, so these angry outbursts are very unlike me, or the 'conscious me' anyway! My loud outbursts usually happen when I'm home alone, or at home around my husband, but no-one else. When I'm with other people, such as at a meeting at a client's office, if I feel any sort of anxiety creeping up, my mind somehow knows that I shouldn't shout out the outbursts, so I end up mouthing them silently instead. This is entirely subconscious. I don't feel like I am controlling it consciously at all. It's just that maybe my mind is being kind to me and preventing me from having a very embarrassing situation. Nonetheless, I do worry that my clients may begin to think I'm a weirdo when they see my mouth moving involuntarily in meetings with no words coming out – and god help me if anyone can lip read!!

I am a very critical person. I need to be for my job. I conduct quality assurance reviews including proofreading and software testing. I am a grammar and punctuation freak and I often spot errors in menus and advertisements, and occasionally in published books. I notice that a few others have said they are artists or designers, so this may involve quality assurance and fine attention to detail also… Does anyone else with this condition share any of these traits?

My theory on the cause of it for me is that I am a perfectionist who is intolerant of errors. I expect perfection from everyone around me and most importantly from myself. I place a large amount of pressure on myself to deliver perfect work and behave appropriately at all times. In terms of the root cause of why this is the way I am, I think I have worked out from therapy that it's because as a child I felt that my parents didn't praise me or tell me they loved me, so I was always striving to be perfect so that I could become 'lovable'. My mum was a very critical person. For example, if I washed the dishes, she would notice that there were still a few soap suds remaining in the sink when I was done, rather than say, 'Thank you, what a great helper you are'. This has made me really good at my job today, so I thank her for that! But it also may have contributed to this unhelpful habit I have. That is, where my brain has some quiet time and ventures into 'subconscious land', it replays an event from my past where I did something embarrassing or shameful to remind me that I'm not perfect.

Then comes the vocal outburst… In relation to the specific words that come out at these times, well, my 'sweetie pie' ex-boyfriend was a man I adored and was deeply in love with, but he broke up with me 3 times over the course of our 3 year relationship. Each time it was over something I'd done that he didn't like, such as getting moody (you know, things that are unpleasant but you can usually apologise and move on). Anyway, the first two times we got back together and I felt more and more vulnerable each time as I was trying harder and harder to be perfect for him to try to avoid him breaking up with me again. In my subconscious, I think the break-ups made me feel like I was not worthy of love because I was not perfect. The third time he broke up with me, I didn't take him back because I realised I did not want to live like that: never living up to his expectations. I've since moved on and am now very happily married (and have no contact with my ex). My husband accepts me exactly as I am – imperfections and all – but the blurting still continues! Many of you have commented that you blurt about your ex-partners, even though they mean nothing to you now (consciously), so I wonder if you might agree with my theory which is: I think the words we choose in our 'blurt' might be representative of a point in our lives when we might have been trying so hard to be perfect that we were very vulnerable and someone else pointed out to us that we are less than perfect. I'm pretty sure that this is the cause in my case.

Another thing is I work from home full time and have done so for the past 3 years. Do you think a common theme could be that we all seem to spend a lot of time alone, and therefore our brains have no-one else to criticise for imperfections, but ourselves?

Also, I have a constant ringing in my ears (only very quiet). At first I thought it was some equipment in my office, but it isn't. I put it down to hearing damage, but it did seem to start around the same time that the outbursts started, so I wonder whether it might be connected at all, if anyone else has the same thing?

In terms of treatment, I can say that my condition has improved quite a bit over the past year as I've been keeping a list of the embarassing moments on my phone. Every time I do a blurt, I write down the embarassing moment that popped into my mind to trigger it. Most of the time it's something so trivial that most people would just laugh it off, so when I look at it in writing, it makes me think, "Oh, THAT'S what I'm berating myself about now?!' And it's strange but that seems to serve the purpose of dismissing that event and putting it in the trash (in my mind), as the same trivial thoughts don't seem to pop up again after that...

And with the big ones that are not trivial – the genuinely shameful things I've done that I feel guilty about – well, when I write those I say to myself, "I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I do the best I can and I forgive myself for that error in judgment." These ones usually need more than one time round before I seem to be able to put them in the 'trash'. Nowadays, the embarassing moments that pop up with my blurts are usually ones that have occurred recently (like in the last 24 hours) but old ones can pop back up again when I'm going through a particularly stressful time. Also, exercising daily in the morning and trying to meditate does help me too.  

I'm looking forward to following this thread to see if anyone else has some commonalities to share…
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I'm so thankful I'm not alone in this.  I thought I was crazy.  Thank you to everyone for sharing.  I really needed to hear this.
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17218185 tn?1454681273
My 12 yr old son has Tourettes and just recently he has started doing/suffering exactly the same thing you have described.  It took us both a while to figure out what was going thru his head 'cause he was so frightened by it and couldn't sleep at nite. He'd awaken with bouts of rage/crying from frustration about not being able to go back to sleep. The thoughts that provoke him to blurt-then-tic are always related to "naughty/forbidden" subjects like: pretty girls, nudity, revenge....of course these are natural feelings and I try to reassure him that he's not "Bad" to feel or think these, but he's become terribly scrupulous and even accuses himself of things he hasn't done!  One factor may be that his psychiatrist put him on Risperdal for the obsessions with nudity, but that only made his tics explode 10x worse! And I'm sure it was the cause of his insomnia-rages because now that he has been weaned off that crap he sleeps ok (just wakes to pee, then the "thoughts" start up, but he goes back to sleep ok). He's off meds now, we're waiting to see how it goes.  He does have some hostility issues with his dad that he is afraid to express around him, which makes things worse.
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however bad as this sounds you need to come to terms with some of the things that make you shout. I have suffered for years with this and have been put in difficult situations. I say a lot of things like go **** yourself (which is aimed at my ex girlfriend) who I haven't been with for over four years. I say her name the most and I even say **** hole fanny lick ????????? I have no idea why I say the last one! Anyway for me I have had ups and downs with this problem.Sometimes I whisper but majority of the time I shout it at the top of my lungs. Im in a security job and I have to deal with lorry drivers that come into the plant and direct them to where ever they have to go. I would direct them and when they walk away I shout go **** yourself at the top of my lungs I have been in some sticky situations with it believe me. I have a solution that helps me but doesn't cure it always. I think about the things that make me do it. I take the time to think deeply about it . I know it sounds crazy to think about embarrassing stuff or what ever it is  but really think about it. Be at ease with yourself and understand that it happened ,its done and nothing can change it. I read a book Bear Grylls survival guide for life it really did help my mind set. The book gave me a great guide to how to deal with things. One of the chapters said THINK CHECK CHANGE. This is exactly how deal with my tics and do it. the idea is to take the time to think about what is it, feel how it makes you feel and then change that feeling into a positive thought and try to hardwire it into yourself.Change it so the next time you do think about it you can tell yourself ...ive thought about it ive delt with it and know im moving on from it. I also find that when my mind  begins to wonder i say those words in my head over and over again crazy but again i helps. For some reason because i think of it so much i don't tic as much. i hope this can help you in some way or at least you can try to structure something from this. I wish you all the best with your journey of peacefulness ! Go **** Yourself!
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Thank you so much for this thread. I'm 23 and I've been freaking out, thinking I'm slowly going insane.
In the past (early childhood to 14 or 15 years old), my random outbursts would only occur when I was feeling isolated or lonely and would think of embarrassing moments. I've never been able to cope with embarrassment very well. I still cringe about things I did as a child.
I've suffered from PTSD, anxiety and depression for the majority of my life, have always struggled with getting to sleep and have been a recreational drug taker (ecstasy, LSD, amphetamines, assorted RCs in my mid to late teens, GHB  and methamphetamine in my 20s) since I was 14 years old. I have never been on medication, but have gone through multiple sessions with psychologists at especially difficult times.
I've experienced brain zaps and sleep paralysis on and off as well. On average I’d say i have an episode or two every year, either when I’m extremely run down, going through a substantial bout of depression or if I have been oversleeping.
Only recently in the past few months have my vocal outbursts increased to almost daily, frequently accompanied with wincing/cringing/squinting, clenching my fists. I think it is possibly related to the conclusion of a relationship with my 'best friend'/love interest – who fell in love with someone else, broke my heart and used me. He was my emotional support for years, as I was his and I'm currently reeling with heartbreak and dealing with the fallout of him being absent from my life and not having someone to turn to for emotional support/comfort -  subsequently feeling very alone and isolated.
I find that my most frequent outbursts are "I hate you.", "I love you." "I know what you've done.", "I'll kill you.", "I hope you die.", "I need to die.", "No." and "What are you doing?”
I'm going to start writing some journal entries/express some of my thoughts on paper to lighten the load on the non-stop vicious whirlwind of shame and self-loathing that is my anxiety/depression.
Seeing that I'm not alone in this has been so valuable so thanks to all those who have shared their experience.
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I just searched "saying things out loud on accident" cause i just yelled while my husband is sleeping, and I've been doing this for years... and oh my gosh ! i can't believe how similar everyone's stories are.
The cycle is i do something embarrassing, i don't address it or laugh it off i just awkwardly move on, i replay the scenario in my mind later usually when i'm by myself although sometimes my husband is subjected to and then i'll yell things like "I don't know" "i hate everything" or i'll swear and sometime i just repeat my husbands name..
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oops i posted before i was finished...

I'm really shy, keep to myself and over-analyze things. I give myself a hard time when i say something stupid, i don't get over little insignificant mistakes on the grand scale of things, i let them bother me. I wish I could change that. I get so lost in my thoughts.. But it's like there's too sides to me, the way i am and the way i want people to see me, thats where i get in trouble trying to act "normal" to fit in and then i feel stupid. I wish i could give myself a break and not be so mortified by social conversation mistakes

examples for ties to similar traits of others that have this affliction:
I'm imaginative, love creative sorts of things like knitting, cooking, and really goofy immature humor. I have a bad memory, don't drink much, don't do drugs. And i work at home.
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Oh wow, I just googled this! I have been blurting out random words lately, often my husbands name, daddy (?), or random words like coffee, tea etc. I wont even be thinking about these things. I seems to be generally when I'm alone luckily, and anxiety or stress seems to be a trigger. I'm not diagnosed with anything. Dont know whats going on with me!
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