When I think of an embarrassing moment (whether it be real or imaginary) I will blurt out a swear, or perhaps a sentence like, "I love you (insert name)". I believe I do that as a means to "snap me out of" the moment so as not to re-experience the feelings the embarrassment caused, or causes, or to just end the momentary thought before it completes.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.
Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.
I have had the same thing happening to me when I'm alone. I'll have an embarrassing thuoght or a shamfull thought of a past event. At that moment where the thought make me fell bad or embarrassed I burt out my wife's name and somtimes the word "help". There are time's that curse words will be in a sentence. Latey I have been blurting with the wife in the roomm with words and phrases like "goddammit" and "oh my god" and she'll ask me "what?" and I'll feel embarrassed and roll out some excuse for what I said, Like "man today was a long day" My mind is always filled with useless thuoght's. I've been having truoble latley finishing anything at work or at home without stoping and starting somthing eles that i'll never finish. ADD, ADHD, Tourette's whatever it is I have atleast acknowleged it.
If it is Tourettes there are medications that can help control it and some of the other symptoms you mentioned remind me of Bipolar. Fourtunately, if it is Bipolar,the drugs used for Bipolar are also used for Tourettes; antiphysoctics. There has been research done possibly linking Tourettes and Bipolar. I would certainly go see a doc about it.
Normally Tourettes begins in late childhood thru early 20's . Anyway, best to both of you and I hope you can get some help soon.
I have mild Tourettes and I do get stuff like that, in that I say random words or phrases during periods of silence or irrelevant conversation. the most humiliating one for me at the moment is shouting 't!tties' especially being a girl!! That has been going on a couple of months after I heard it on someone's ringtone.It annoys me because people just think I'm a freak but I do find it a bit funny too. But getting to the point I find Tourettes at its worst always has to say the most embarrasing thing or noise at the most wrong of times!!
hey my names annie i have tourettes too i no what you meen it like you think of something and it comes out as a tic and ive had a really bad t.s tic saying really offensiva tics its sooo annoying becoss people just look at you like your a peace of rubish im 13 and my t.s is getting bader butt i gess it something im going to have all my life love annie :)
I have this too! And, I live in the same fear of looking foolish or wrecking my relationship. We’re not alone- try googling “Compelled to blurt” (or check here: http://ask.metafilter.com/97265/Compelled-to-Blurt) there’s tons of people experiencing the same thing. They’re calling it Wince Words. Zenfulways2009, you’re the first person that’s speculated that blurting out might be a way “snap out” of the moment- I know the feeling! It’s exactly like snapping out.
I only blurt out if I’ve drifted off in thought AND I’m thinking of something embarrassing. Usually this is while doing something alone and mindless like showering or driving. If my body is occupied doing motor skills and my mind wanders to an embarrassing thought WHAMO I involuntarily blurt out a noise, a phrase, or I sing a part of a song that might be playing on the radio. For particularly embarrassing memories I sometimes catch myself screaming out the “wince words” and the blurting-out snaps me back to reality (and then have to sit there feeling embarrassed that I’ve just screamed). The fact we snap back to reality is key. If it was tourettes wouldn’t it happen all the time and not just when we’re mentally wandering? On the other hand I’ve heard that tourettes is like a verbal tic, and that makes sense to me because sometimes when I blurt I also make a strange face or jerk my head.
When we dream our mind becomes cut off from our body right? Well, daydreaming might be like dreaming but not deep enough... something about an embarrassing moment causes the flood gate to open and our mouth involuntarily blurts out a sound that was supposed to be suppressed- hearing the sound brings us to. But I wonder, why come to? And why not blurt out for other memories like love, fear, sadness? Why is it always embarrassment?
I wish I had answers. I’ve been noticing (and hiding) this for a few years now and I’m worried it’s getting worse. I’ve been doing a lot more public speaking lately and that’s certainly providing me with embarrassing moments to relive. I’m also much more stressed out at work which means I’m tired more often and that gives me occasion to mentally wander... in public... during meetings... where blurting out is certainly inappropriate! If only I could change my wince words into a cough I might be able to get away with it but unfortunately I seem to just blurt out some random words (or on occasion the exgirlfriend’s name and proclamation of love/hate).
I’m going to take a previous poster’s advice and talk through all my embarrassing moments with close friends, my plan is to “work through” each memory in the hopes of “letting it go”. I also had to come clean and admit the blurting thing to my wife. Luckily I had this and the “compelled to blurt” post to back me up :) In case readers are wondering... in all other respects I’m a healthy, well educated, well functioning person in my late 30s. Man I hope someone figures this out! I’ll volunteer for the study!
Wow I realize I'm 3 years behind the last comment but I was so relieved to read all the testimonials here that I feel I want to contribute my experiences with this annoying phenomenon.
Whenever I'm alone doing something mundane or mechanical like getting dressed driving or using the bathroom I let my mind wander like most people do. When I inevitably arrive at a thought or memory that embarrasses me I will generally blurt out a quick curse or inappropriate phrase without control. It's usually one of a small hand full of things I seem to go to. Usually it's "f** you" or "I hate you" or " I'll kill you" real fun stuff like that. Most the time I will incorporate the N word into any one of these fun sayings or just let it fly on its own. I'm embarrassed of the "n" word most of all. it really troubles me to hear me say it. I'm white. I swear I'm not racist.
I second guess myself and wonder if there is some deep subconscious racism in me that comes to the surface in these moments. I think it might have more to do when I once said it in front of a group friends and was mortified, ever since then it's been my my top tier material.
Sometimes when I'm alone with my girlfriend watching tv or driving I catch myself doing it and try to stop it as I start, and she will ask me what I was saying and ill just start a conversation about something random or try to shrug her off with a "nothing" fortunately I haven't used the last one around her.
I think I have had this problem longer than I realized but it seems to be more on my mind, or worse for the last couple of years. I am 30, employed, and otherwise sane and liked.
There is a history of depression and borderline personality disorder in my family. I have been seeing a therapist for depression for the past 6 months, and she recommended I take Wellbutrin. I have been taking it with good results as far as depression goes but the blurting continues. Up until now I haven't mentioned it to her because I have been afraid to. Thanks to this thread, I feel like I can talk about it now.
thank you for posting this. I have struggled with that exact issue for so long. It started when i was in about 2nd or 3rd and they put me in detention for "disrupting" class a few times. Back then it was just sudden throaty noises...I couldn't hear myself doing it and I couldn't control it.
Then one day it just stopped. Over the years, I noticed my mother would suddenly say things out of nowhere but only while doing housework, computer work or getting herself ready to go out of the house. She will say the first part loud then finish it as a sentence, like she meant to say it but I know she doesn't mean to say these things. She still does it.
I'm not sure when I started to say random words and phrases but I either didn't realize or didn't accept that it was involuntary. I don't want to spend my days covering it up like my mother seems to. I finally had to type into the search bar what I was going through and this forum popped up on top. Now, I hope I am brave enough to get evaluated or find a natural way to get help for this problem.
Also, your wife should be understanding as long as she knows you have tourette's or bipolar.If not, still get help knowing that God is someone you can turn to when others let us down. I know if it turns out I have something like this, my spouse will not understand to the point of putting me down. I just have to pray for strength and long suffering.
Damn it feels awesome knowing I'm not slowly losing my mind. Or if I am, I'm not the only one. But now I'm more curious to our shared problem. Why are all of us saying the same things? There has to be a reason we only say we love/ hate something or someone, or just start cussing. Most of us even share the same muscle ticks. Why is this? Do we all share some traits we aren't mentioning? I read that it happens to creative more imaginative people. I'm into photography, writing, play guitar and other string instruments. Im highly comedic, maybe that's some kind of connection. Does anyone else have any of this stuff in common? More importantly how can I make this stop? Meditation works sometimes but it more often then not it just gives my mind a chance to go out of control. I really want this to stop. I hate it. It's getting worse. I'm having trouble controlling it in public. At work I've taken to staying away from co-workers because I don't know when it's coming sometimes. As long as I'm active my mind doesn't seem to snap. Only when I'm not focusing. Does that mean I need to be busy in some activity to get through this? What do I do when I'm trying to sleep? Laying in bed saying "I wish, love or hate someone. The 4 hours of sleep I get a night trying to not to think is really getting old. When I wake up I have to goal of just trying not to say any names out loud.
I'm 30 and single so maybe I deep down I have this problem until I fall in love or something but as I'm starting to see from other writers is that it doesn't stop for them. That's probably the worst news I found out.
I will let someone study me if they could do something to help me with half of the outburst.
At least I'm not the only one. At least I know I'm not going crazy. I so glad I'm not going crazy.
I'm not crazy!!! yeahh!! I have the exact same issue. For me it started when I was 20, blurting my ex boyfriend name out of nothing. Then after few years it changed to a different boyfriend name who I really don't miss or think about at all. Later, it changed to mom, yes, to mom, hahahha. It comes sometimes as I hate you, or I'm going to kill you... It happens when I think about an embarrasing situation where I look or feel guilty or stupid. As someone else commented on this chat, I'm a creative person, I'm into design and drawing (not sure if that is related or not). I'm 31 now and happy to know that I'm not alone in this world!!
I forgot to say, some other of the phrases I say are: ''I'm going to die'', I'm going to go away'', ''do you love me?'' ''I want to go (insert country name)''. I think all of these reflects that maybe the solution is to face those embarrasing moments by going thru them and forgiving ourselves for being fool or doing something wrong.....
I am 53 and just started noticing that I do this about 5 years ago. I do it just before I go to sleep, every time I wake up in the night I say something out loud. ( gets embarrassing on trips when I stay with friends in hotels). I also do it during the day, especially when alone and not working. Sometimes it is a cuss word, sometimes what ever I am thinking about. How can we quit doing it?
I am SO happy to find this post!! It is so encouraging to know that I'm not the only one, that others have my exact symptoms, and that it's beginning to make sense! I first started noticing myself blurting about 2 years ago. I thought I was going crazy or was having a mental breakdown or something. I have no history of anything and have never been on any meds or anything. I was teaching in a particularly stressful position at the time and was having relationship problems so I related it all to stress. It would get worse, then reside a little bit. But then I noticed it even when I wasn't that stressed out. It seemed to be getting worse. I was scared I would do it in front of someone, I hadn't yet. I would always blurt "I love you Dwayne". Dwayned was a guy that was an awkward acquaintance that I had a strange friendship with, and never dated. I certainly didn't love him. I was afraid someone was going to hear me say that and wonder why I was saying I loved him. I would consciously try to repeat something better whenever it would happen, for example if I had blurted "I love you Dwayne" I would immediately talk to myself, saying "no you don't". And try to suggest to myself to say something else if I had to say anything at all, like, "this is great" or whatever would be less conspicuous. But it never worked. Then I had an epiphany moment. I realized that whenever I blurted, it was during a time when I was thinking about something I was embarrassed or ashamed of or thought I should have done differently or acted differently concerning. I realized that I was being a perfectionist and being hard on myself for these situations that were replaying in my mind. So I wonder if mostly perfectionistic and type A people do this blurting stuff. I really identified with the earlier post where the person said it helps to work through these situations by talking to a person about it. I need to do that. Or at least start writing it out in my journal, writing about thoughts helps me so much. I've also noticed that I do it alot more when I'm anxed up on caffeine or brain stimulants like msg or maltodextrin....for some reason those make my mind go in overdrive and I blurt more. When I get into a blurting season, I drink a lot of water, go for a hike to pump things out or exercise real hard, and it seems to help put things back to normal. So for now this Is my road to a cure.... reduce stress with exercise and eating healthy and drinking lots of water, talk to a friend or write out all embarrassing or anxiety causing situations, and stop thinking that I have to be perfect in all situations.
PLEASE SEARCH on : TOURETTE SYNDROME AND MAGNESIUM .
Mg deficiency is an underlying cause to Tourette syndrome.
Please check You Tube and Google . Hopefully you all could find help with your health issues.
I am relieved to find others suffering from the same embarrassing problem. I have been doing this for some time now, atleast 15 years or that is when I first noticed it. I am 38 years old.
I used to do a lot of recreational drugs, l.s.d, ecstasy, weed in my late teens and early twenties until I had a very bad l.s.d trip which brought on panic attack disorder. This made me became very introspective and the constant battle to fend off the panic was waged by talking to myself incessantly (not out aloud) and thinking and more thinking - I was in a constant state of panic for two years and I believe at this time I picked up the habit of blurting words or sounds out whenever I thought of a situation where I had embarrassed myself or had made a silly decision. Generally I use the 'F' word as in 'f it', 'f sakes' 'mother f'er', 'gonna f that *****' or say ' love you', 'hate it/you/xxx' or sometimes just make a weird noise. I also sing, generally a song that is current/popular, except I've never been good at remembering lyrics so I end up substituting some of the lyrics with my own random words - SUPER EMBARRESSING! I also sometimes hum a random tune. I am fully aware that I do this to stop my train of thought. The irony that in the course of trying to stop recalling an embarrassing moment I end up embarrassing myself is not lost on me.
Since I became aware of it I have sometimes been able to stop myself but most of the time not.
I have never considered or taken note of a physical tic until reading a post on this page but I do have one: usually a 'tsk' and a slight shake/jerk of the head as I blurt - sometimes I won't blurt but just tsk and shake my head.
I am currently on medication for depression and anxiety (Sertraline 100mg for about 6 weeks now) and receiving therapy. I had previously been on the SSRI called Aropax for about a year and a half when I was 25. (This left me with brain zaps which I get occasionally and also may be a possible alternative cause of the blurting). I have never brought this up my my doctor as I've just kind of accepted it as probably a residual effect of the bad trip but I do hate it! It's difficult to keep trying to cover it up or make up random stories to explain it away.
I wouldn't consider myself very artistic although I can draw better than the average non artistic person and have artistic tendencies for example I really enjoy photography and am starting guitar lessons soon and have learnt/played piano before although I have forgotten it mostly now unfortunately.
Hey!! Unfortunately this forum runs extremely slow or to be honest it looks dead! But I guess if you just want to tell your story it's great! My son is 38 and has Tourrettes. No medication, no resolve. He has mainly taken street drugs to self medicate. So not much to say there.
Congratulations on trying to understand this! It's a long road, but you sound like you would like to get help. I do know that it requires the correct medication, and the precise dose. So you won't sleep all day. It's also best (if possible) to see a Neurologist. If not possible ask the doctor that's prescribing your current meds if he knows anything about Tourette's.
The beginning of this thread is from 2009, maybe you can start a new one if you want to. Top of the page "post question".
Anyway very best to you Panic!!!! Nice to read your story!!! Keep searching your not alone!!! :):).
I get the same thing, glad to have found this post. I'm in my mid twenties and noticed it for the last 7-8 years, mainly after drinking. In the last while its gotten worse though, and I've blurted out random things when others were around. Have tried magnesium, but didn't have any effect. Glad to see I'm not totally losing my mind though
I am so happy that I found this discussion board. I have been searching on-line for years now trying to find someone who has a similar involuntary blurting problems and now I see a lot of people suffer from the same curse. Laurataylor347 I have the exact same problem blurting out my ex's names eventho I am totally not into them now and I have a boyfriend of three years now that I love so much. Thankfully I never blurted out anything in front of him (at least while I am awake). But now I blurt things like "Do you love me?" or "Do you like me?" which makes me sound totally pathetic and clingy when it comes out more than one time during a sitting. And yes now I blurt out mom I love you and so forth. My mom used to get so surprised when I was in my twenties and there would be people sitting and I would blurt out my ex's name and say I love you afterwards. It mostly happens when my mind is full of random thoughts that I cannot seam to organize in my head or when I feel embarrassed or lonely. Now my mom seems to have gotten used to me saying my exboyfriend's name who I dated when I was 17. That was twenty years ago! It didn't end well and I was deeply in love with him. Then another dude came along and I also fell in love and this story also ended badly. These are the only two boyfriends that I blurt out their names out loud. The good guys have not gotten the verbal glory. BTW I am also a graphic artist / painter.
I really really do want to get rid of this bad habit. It bothers me so much and I feel desperate after I blurt things out as well as vulnerable/ emotionally naked. I am usually a deep well, no secrets come out unless I really really trust someone. Some secrets will be taken with me to the grave and I would not like them to be blurted out to strangers....or maybe this would be the solution. Just talk to strangers who will not judge you as badly as close ppl. I like three pieces of advise here and will try them out: 1) Meditation 2) Magnesium 3)go through my embarrassing moments maybe in a diary or with a therapist and forgive myself.
I have mild (so far) touretts that was caused by light brain and nerve damage involving Zanax OD, and I am not bipolar. I have depression, fear of crowds in tight situations, and performance anxiety. I have some of the main signs/symptoms. It usually only happens when I am either asleep (uncontrollable and often furtive gestures, and unintelligible words/sentences) or when very anxious/nervous, etc., and my mental health dept. has seen the blurting out of explicitives, and furtive hand gestures (shooting the bird at those who have upset me). I don't realize I have done this (especially when in public in crowded conditions). I sometimes experience a jerking of shoulders (does not effect my driving as it does not apparently effect the arms or hands).
They (local mental health is afraid to put me on more than I am already taken due to the weird reactions I have to medications. They have been monitoring me since the OD which literally almost killed me, and are keeping tabs on health issues as well as other meds I have to take. Most of the time I am like anyone else, but when vexxed, all bets are off.
So glad to read all these posts. I started noticing it about 2 years ago (I’m 33).
Usually when I had a hangover and thinking about the night before. Some of the things I did or said which I found embarrassing would cause me to blurt out something like "you idiot" or even "I love you ___" usually some ex. I just come to expect it now with a hangover but it does happen randomly when I think of something on sitting on my own. I have managed to control it in public so far.
I always thought blurting out something like “you idiot” was kind of understandable as I thought it was a verbal form of self-harm (not that I have ever done that physically) or being uncomfortable with myself. But have no idea what the “ I love you ___” is about!
I have had anxiety issues my whole live but I haven’t been on medication as I’m pretty familiar with it now and can work through most situations. Also creative too working in animation.
Was really nervous about researching this as I wasn’t sure if I was losing my marbles or on the verge of a mental breakdown. Do any of you find it comes or goes or does it continue to get worse?
I know this post is pretty old, but it comes as a huge relief to me to see someone else, well, many others, who suffer from a similar situation. I'm 15, when ever I remember something incredibly embarrassing, or something I wish I could forget forever, I usually blurt out a cuss word. As well as other things people here mentioned like: "I hate you," "you idiot," or even "are you an idiot." I find myself doing this every single day, and I wish it would stop. I've never been professionally diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, I don't believe I have it. This has only been happening as of recently. I don't know what it is. I can't speak for everyone, but maybe we are incredibly sensitive, and the feeling of embarrassment and shame is so strong we blurt out something in order to suppress the feeling of embarrassment and shame. At least that's how I feel/ see it.
Add me to this exact phenomena. I'm 51 and about 7 years ago, I began blurting out "I love you, mom!" each time I remembered something embarassing (my mother was and, of course, is deceased). After a year, it changed to my ex-girlfriend's name wherein I would remember something embarassing then and I'd say out loud "I love you, Kim." Still happens everything I think of something embarassing while not prepared. If I know something embarassing is coming, I can stop the urge. Also, sometimes, it changes to "do you love me?" But mostly, "I love you, Kim." ~Andrew
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