Tourette Syndrome Community
I think I have it, but maybe not.
About This Community:

This is a patient support community for discussion relating to Tourette syndryome.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

I think I have it, but maybe not.

I'm 45 years old.  At about age 38 I had a very stressful and traumatic 2 year period (courtroom drama and a lawsuit that I thought would win and destroy my life.)  After it was all over, I tried to get back into life but found I wasn't able to cope.  I was relieved, but I hadn't taken time to relax and I became severely depressed.

As the stress waned, something new happens.  In any moment that I have a recall memory, especially one with regrets, I blurt out noises.  The noises aren't words but they are... well... "stupid" and self-deprecating.  I am "mocking myself" by doing this.  And doing so relieves the emotion.

It is specifically triggered by regrettable memories... including childhood interaction with bullies, etc.

I described it to my wife this way: It's a sudden surge of emotion.  It's like the desire to swear when you hurt yourself.  I am able to avoid this if I am in a public place and "on my best behavior."  (Thank god for this, since I'm a business owner!)  

But avoiding the noises is kind of like stubbing your toe, hard, in church, without swearing.

These noises are NOT a big problem in my life, since most people don't know I do this.  My wife knows and she's very understanding.  Luckily, I don't generally experience bad memories when I'm engaging in conversation.

I did speak to a psychiatrist about it.  She said she "knew exactly what it was"... But when I asked her to tell me, but apparently she felt I would be better off not knowing.  "I don't want you to think about it too much."

Well, I'm really not afraid of any stigma.  What do you all think?
Related Discussions
2 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I think it is absurd the psychiatrist won't let you know what she thinks is going on. Even if she was afraid that you would dwell on it, she still has to fill you in on what she believes is going on. That is not good practice on her part!!!! It just tells me that she doesn't really know what is going on, she just doesn't want to admit it. We all deal with stress in different ways. I went through something no one and especially no parent should have to go through six years ago. It will be 6 years on the 22nd. I saw a psychiatrist as well and was placed on a few different types of anti-anxiety anti-depressants. I believe it made everything worse. I wanted to deal with what was going on naturally. For a long time, alcohol was my "medicine" well, I soon found that it too was making things worse. I will never forget what happened and I will always miss my sweet daughter. I think about her everyday. I have a one year old daughter now who brings light into my life. I am very sorry that you are dealing with these problems. I hope you can find out what is going on so you can feel better!!

Take care my friend,
Krystal
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I think it is absurd the psychiatrist won't let you know what she thinks is going on. Even if she was afraid that you would dwell on it, she still has to fill you in on what she believes is going on. That is not good practice on her part!!!! It just tells me that she doesn't really know what is going on, she just doesn't want to admit it. We all deal with stress in different ways. I went through something no one and especially no parent should have to go through six years ago. It will be 6 years on the 22nd. I saw a psychiatrist as well and was placed on a few different types of anti-anxiety anti-depressants. I believe it made everything worse. I wanted to deal with what was going on naturally. For a long time, alcohol was my "medicine" well, I soon found that it too was making things worse. I will never forget what happened and I will always miss my sweet daughter. I think about her everyday. I have a one year old daughter now who brings light into my life. I am very sorry that you are dealing with these problems. I hope you can find out what is going on so you can feel better!!

Take care my friend,
Krystal
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Tourette Syndrome Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank