I was told St. John's Wort was not safe to take, because it did not have a measurement standard the way prescription medication does, and one can get side effects from it just as surely as prescription anti-depressants. If you only want to stick with natural, you might try something a psychiatrist recommended to me- Naturemade brand of Sam-E. It does cost quite a bit, but it's natural and has had scientific studies done with it as to affect on mood. He didn't recommend other brands, just that one. He also recommended omega fatty acids, such as freshwater fish (ie like tuna and salmon), walnuts, pumpkin seeds, macadamia nuts, and flaxseed.
But with heavyduty depression, such as yours, you may have a chemical imbalance in your brain that would require temporary intervention with a prescription antidepressant to try to get the balance better. This can happen to people. If the psychiatrist is recommending you give it a try, you might work with him/her to find one that has the least amount of side effects for you. You might try starting on an extremely low dose to give your body plenty of time to adjust to it. You might just find that it helps your mood to improve some.
If you don't get help for your health, there may soon be no band and no school at all. The fact that you are still interested in these things tells me you still have interest in living. The fact that you are still talking on here tells me you want help. And to live, you must take care of yourself.
If you are uncomfortable right now with going to a neurologist, why not see an opthamologist for a field of vision test as a start, since your vision is so bad? Or have you had that test done yet? They might be able to open doors for you to a neurologist based on your vision. And a plain neurologist might not be the right one to go to even. If you haven't had all the endocrinology hormones checked yet, it might be that something there is off kilter, and you might need a neuro-endocrinologist.
See if a family doctor will order TSH, a fairly routine family doctor test, because the thyroid being off balance can cause a lot of emotional disturbance.
See if they could order FSH and LH blood tests (a gyn could tell you when to get these done) to see if they are running outside the normal range. And with your menstrual irregularities, hopefully they wouldn't just tell you you're fine, to go home and get some rest. They might mention that stress can affect your menstrual cycle, however. So, I would stress to them that you started your menses at a very young age (9 or 10) and have never been regular, that it isn't just a current trend.
I was sent to a mental health institution the other day due to some emotional instability/suicide threats. I explicitly requested not to be admitted, see a counselor, nor be put on anti-depressants. After my interview, they told me all of those things would be optional. I'm currently taking St. John's Wart, which I took for a few months a while ago and just ran out and forgot about it, which is helping slightly, but I still feel quite a bit of anxiety about several things...not to mention my parents constantly checking up on my is a little bit stressful. Of course, that right there may just be a pride issue.
I'm far too exhausted today to reply to everyone individually, so I shall reply here.
Anyway, after visiting the mental health institution, I was told I have a fairly severe case of depression, which is what I've known for quite a while and it took that woman to convince my mother it was true--I think it's just because she's looking out for me. Either way, I wonder if this depression is triggered by a hormonal imbalance--not one that is as common for someone my age but perhaps more severe. My menstrual cycles are impossible to track, being 7 to 15 days long on average and 7 to 40 days apart at time and I've been experiencing this from a fairly young age, starting earlier than my most peers at age 9 or 10. I also tend to shift mood very dramatically, being extremely excited and hyperactive one minute then agitated then next and finally sad and tired. The cycle rages on. I'm not exactly sure if this is normal, but it's something I certainly don't observe in my peers.
I'm always extremely apprehensive about visiting a doctor--especially a specialist. First because there might be nothing wrong and he simply will say "You're fine, go get some rest" and it would be a waste of time and money. On the other hand, if my symptoms prove to be caused by a very serious illness, I would have to get treatment and might be paying hundreds of dollars for it for the rest of my life. So honestly, although it might not be the correct thing to do, I'm going to wait until we move some time in September or later before I take any serious action and see a neurologist. Also, it's fairly difficult to get adequate and punctual medical attention in my area. I just hope there is someone who can help me near this small town. My grades simply cannot allow a long out-of-town trip. I know this sounds foolish, but it's how my priorities are set--band, school, health.
A person with mental illness can still write a very impressive letter. I know, I've lived with it for 10 years. It doesn't mean you are crazy or lacking in knowledge. Mental Illness comes in many forms. I was stuck down in a very monent. I couldn't see, couldn't walk, was extreamly weak. Migraines. Then upset stomach without warning after a meal. I would be doing something and have a moment of blackout and have to really think to remember what I was doing. After many many Dr's my Dr put me on an anti-depressent and all the symtoms went away. Then they came back. I have been a a patient at my local mental health for about four years. They changed my med's added to them and I've have to change med's due to bad reactions. It takes time for them to find out which ones work for you. If you have not experienced a mental health issue it's better for you to leave your comments left unsaid. Only expeienced need apply
Get to your local Dept. of Mental health right away.Speaking from experience you need a medication to get rid of such thoughts. I have had them and they can be so strong and overwhelming. This may be temporay due to the pain or it could be a life long mental illness where you need med's for life. I do. Depression/anixity so bad I lost my job for time missed from work. It appeared in the form of a total body malfuntion, thought I as gonna die right then and there. After many dr's my family Dr put me on a depression med, it worked for awhile but ended up a life long patient of Mental Health. I have a severe case, can't concentrate and stay physically sick alot. On disability. Mine is strange in that the med's don't work as good for me as they do for others. Other people there attend college and work but I can't
You don't find yourself worth it because your feelings are lying to you. You are worth it! I'm glad your parents are willing to rule out a few things (or discover what's medically wrong with you, hopefully, if that's the case). Your symptoms are definitely not something to trivialize.
You don't find yourself worth it because your feeling are lying to you. You are worth it!
First of all, from your intelligent posts and analysis of your situation, my opinion is that you are in no way mentally ill. I am very impressed by your intelligence, your straightforwardness, and your presentation. Nor do I see any evidence of bipolar disorder, a "catch-all" diagnosis in the DSM that is in my opinion not helpful at all. I am VERY concerned about you. Some of the symptoms you describe, specifically the light sensitivity, suggest you have physical, NOT mental problems. You do not need an examination by a single "family physician" nor a single MRI. You need an evaluation by a diagnostic team, preferably at a teaching hospital. You have what medical students call an "interesting case history". There is a good chance your problems can be resolved. The last thing you need is a psychiatrist pushing happy pills. Physical problems, particularly low levels of oxygen in the blood often lead to depression. I am also concerned you will visit a single physician who will immediately prescribe psychiatric medications. There are a host of possibilities, from an endochrine disorder to chemical imbalance, to structural abnormalities within areas of the brain. The first advice I would give you is not to blame yourself for any of these problems nor to think "lifestyle" changes will solve things. If anyone tells you you are responsible for these problems, ignore them. I am puzzled as to the cause of your symptoms, but I suspect that you have a genuine medical problems, rather than a "behavioral" disorder resolvable by "counseling" or "the church". You don't just need "any" doctor. You need a team evaluation and the psychiatrist should be at the tail end of the treatment team. I put most of them in the same category as astrologers. I am frightened by the term "brutally honest". You need for starters a 3T (Tesla) CAT scan. As of yesterday. The good news is these are provided for free in many areas. Next on the list of tests would be blood sugar and an A1C. Third would be an endochrine work-up. You need a neurological (NOT a psychiatric) work-up. Do not let doctors tell you you have a psychiatric problem. I want you to keep posting as to how you are doing.
It's not too hard for me to say this but I don't truly find myself worth the time and money that my family puts into me. However, we're moving soon and my mother has told me to make a few lifestyle changes which she has specified and after we get settled into our new house and have a little more cash at hand--and after we've ruled a few things out--she said that she will take me to a doctor she has seen before who is brutally honest and, if necessary, have me scanned. Now my biggest challenge is to have everyone watch out for my racing thoughts and make these lifestyle changes that are probably necessary in the first place. Any more input, however, is fine by me.
Given your suicidal thoughts and your symptoms, if your family values your life, you can't afford NOT to have a serious doctor visit. It's a matter of priorities. You won't know you don't have cancer or something just as life threatening if you don't get tested. Please, you are worth it...
I haven't gotten any scans or such of the sort; rather, I've been spending quite some time trying to self-diagnose. The biggest problem with me is that I can't afford to have a serious doctor visit. Money is tight and my family has even completely dropped dental insurance, so my health insurance pretty much pays for a severe car crash and cancer. If I can raise some money, I'll try to visit a doctor, but for now, it's been difficult for my family to make ends meet in this economy.
And, while I appreciate the thought and I don't mean to offend whatsoever, religion and deities aren't really my cup of tea.
Have they done a recent catscan or MRI scan of your brain? Have you seen a neurologist and told them about these symptoms? If you have not been tested for things that could be causing your changes, you really need to have your parents get you to some doctors. Have they checked your thyroid levels? Suicide is not the answer. You need the Saviour Who is holding out His hands to you and Who can lift your head and give you a reason for living. Private Message me if you want to know more.