Sex drive

[TheChief]

I'm a 22 year-old female and I have NEVER had a sex drive.  I have always liked guys a lot, been attracted to them in an emotional way, but never had a sexual "urge" in the purely physical sense.  I have been to a couple of gynecologists about this, and they referred me to a psychologist.  After an evaluation, the psychologist did not feel that there was any reason to believe my problem was mental, but could offer no solution to the problem.

I have mentioned the idea of female viagra to my doctors, but they told me it hasn't been approved by the FDA.

I have no past history of abuse and I have always felt very comfortable with my sexuality and with my body.  I have no problem having sex, and have been in healthy relationships.  I have never had the desire to masturbate, though I have tried many times (with vibrators, etc.) and have had no success and not an ounce of arousal; while the sensation is "good," it is no different than it would be on any other part of my body.

The only time I have EVER felt ANYTHING resembling sexual arousal, is a few years ago when I was using this ab roller - I know this sounds strange, but bear with me.  Pushing down with all of the muscles in my abdomen produced a sort of "quiver," though the feeling went away after only a second and the sensation could not be reproduced more than twice.  Though I had always believed this problem to be physical, rather than psychological, this experience confirmed it.

Has anyone ever heard of a problem similar to this?  Any ideas on what this might be?  Any thoughts on how to overcome this?

[Mandybell]

I agree, you need to have your hormone levels checked. But I think you need to learn your own body and try to masturbate and get arroused own your own. I do agree with watching porn and trying sex toys. Sometimes finding a man is not the answer. Listen, I love men but I never knew what an orgasm was until I decided to find out what felt good to me and started experimenting with sex toys. I had my first orgasm when I was 27 and it wasnt with a man. I finally realized what I had been missing. Good luck!!

[Eli_Elle]

I didn't know this was a common situation! I, too, have only ever experienced sexual arousal from using an Ab Wheel and have been unable to produce the same effect from anything else. Why is the Ab Wheel the only thing that works?!

[Linwet]

I know exactly what you mean! It happens to me as well.  The only time I ever get extremely aroused and orgasm is when I use my Ab roller. My boyfriend gets extremely frustrated with me.  I used to think that I didn

[pazman1]

The best way to go is to have your hormone levels checked.

[hyepod]

Did the gynecologists draw blood for total and free testosterone and female hormones?  Some people believe that the total testosterone test is adequate.  It may be that the free testosterone test is more accurate.  Some of your testosterone is bound to a protein.  This molecule cannot be used by the body.  The rest of the testosterone that is floating around is "free" and unbound, and is available for use by the body.

[swaggy]

Well, studies have shown that some women (and though a much smaller porportion, men too) just don't have a sex drive.  There isn't really anything you can do about it, but accept the fact that you know, sex just isn't the epitome of your life.  That's totally ok.  As long as you are happy with your sex life, and happy with yourself, there is no cause to worry.  Of course, if having a sex drive is very important to you, maybe ask yourself why?  I promise you, there are guys out there that don't have a high sex drive, that aren't gay, that don't have any problems, so it is possible for you to find one like yourself, and to just enjoy the relationship as it is.  Actually, having little or no sex drive may be considered a blessing, because you have the ability (whether you use it or not) to disassociate sex from love, and passion, etc.  If you're not happy, men's viagra can work for women just as well as men (though talk to your doctor first, I am not a doctor) Low sex drive may just equal low testosterone levels, which isn't bad, but if you're really worried, ask about a hormone treatment therapy, or do some at home things, I've heard that meditation works, watching porno, you know, different things. Also, testosterone levels are highest in the morning when you wake up, so try something then.  There's my two cents for you.  Good luck with that.

[myproblem]

I was never aroused either until I met my husband, and I dated enough guys who would have been willing, if you know what I mean. I just don't think it's that abnormal. Some people are just harder to turn on.

[678anonymous]

But she's saying that she's NEVER ONCE been aroused - not by a guy, not by masturbation.  Watching porn isn't going to change that.  She also wrote that she's been in healthy relationships, so it can't be a matter of meeting the right guy.  Despite whatever ups and downs the female sex drive can take, despite how ambiguous sexuality can be, if you're 22 years-old and you've NEVER been aroused by anything or anyone (except an abroller :) ), I think it's safe to say something's wrong.

Any ideas?

[fcar]

hi

Oprah had a big show on this sometime last year.  for many women its a problem.  Seeing a therapist for lots of women had nothing to do with it and was not the answer. unfortuanatley doctors think that if they cant figure something out its all in our heads.  trust me I know been seeking doctors help for too long with not feeling good anyway.... There were these two female doctors that specialize specifically in this matter.  Do some searching on Oprahs site maybe you can even email them with your questions and tell them you saw two female doctors who take care of this but cant remember there names.  By the way the outcome lots of women had extremley low tetostorone levels which is what caused there problems.  Who better to seek then doctors who specialize in this problem , especially when they are women doctors. Whom I find are much easier to talk to.  By the way like the other women I too after finding my husband felt the same way they do.

[myproblem]

P.S. I agree with Tula!     :)

[Tula]

don't watch porn wrong way to go.  maybe when you meet the right person it will all happen give it time do the right thing and it will be ok...

[myproblem]

It is not as abnormal as you think. The world is so overpowered right now with sexuality on TV and everywhere else you look, that many people think there is something wrong with them if they don't get turned on easily. Some women just have a harder time getting an orgasm or getting turned on. This is a normal varition of female sexuality. It doesn't mean there is anything really wrong.

[pazman1]

It seems very unusual for a 22 year old female not to have raging hormones, I am assuming your hormones are all at normal levels? Let me ask you this, and please dont take it the wrong way, have you tried watching porn, to see if that would stimulate a response?

[TheChief]

I should mention that I've been tested for hypothyroidism and anemia, both of which have come back negative, and I do not suffer from anxiety or depression.

Thanks!