kids and headaches

[ny2125]

our one daughter will complain her head hurts, then the next minute she is fine and running around. we notice this when she has to do something she doesnt like, hasnt eaten well or slept enough. we do not see any other neuro signs nor has her dr. her dr. says she seems fine. she hasnt gotten sick to her stomach from these nor have had to stop doing whatever she ws doing. she will complain to my wife or i, not really anyone else. she will usually complain in the car, she gets "antsy" in the car and doesnt care for the long rides. anything we should look for as a "red flag"??? any insight would be great.

[utahmomma]

How old is your daughter?  Has anyone in your family (or any of her close friends) been sick lately?  Has she, perhaps, associated a "headache" as a way to get out of doing something or getting extra attention?

When my children were young I discovered that observing their behavior was a better predictor of "sick" than taking their word for it!  Usually their version of "sick" was associated with getting out of chores or avoiding something unpleasant.

[ny2125]

she is 5.  what would be "red flat" for us to say, ok your going to the doctor now???  its the complaint one minute fine the next that is driving us nuts!!!

[PGB]

I sympathize completely!  My seven year old boy is the same way.  He has "cried wolf" so much that myself and my husband and  his teachers sometimes don't believe him when he really is sick now.  This has lead to me sending him to school when he was sick and having to go pick him up an hour after school started and also to the teachers keeping him at school when he really was sick.  I have tried everything.  I have tried talking to him and explaining to him that one day he could really be very sick and nobody would believe him because he "pretended" to be sick so much.  I have even tried to explain that sometimes we all have to do things that we don't  like to do and don't want to do, but if we just go on and do it, before we know it, we are finished and can do something we do like to do.  No luck.  My other 2 children are not like this.  The only thing I can think of is that he is the "baby" of our family and I treated him as such for a little too long.  This sounds awful but this got to be an everyday thing for me to have to leave work and go pick him up at school and when I left the school, he started playing, he wasn't even sick.  (He had a teacher that year that he could con rather easily.)  So I finally told him that if they called me to come get him again, he WAS going to the doctor and that I would make sure that they gave him a shot so he would feel better and be able to go back to school the next day.  That helped a lot.  When they are really sick, my children don't mind getting shots.  But don't talk about it if they aren't.  I have tried that again, and it is helping for now, but how long will it last?  I wish he would just listen when I talk to him and not make everything so difficult.  Best of luck to you and yours!  Children are a challenge on the best of days, the days my son pulls these stunts I could pull my hair out.  If you find a solution that works, please post it here so others of us who have this problem can possibly try it.

[popokinui]

My opinion......if they say they are sick, then treat them like they are sick.  If they have to stay home from school...make sure they stay in bed all day....no video games, tv, etc.  Offering some yucky medicine works sometimes also.

I know this sounds cruel, but they need to realize that if they're sick...then they need to act sick.  If they are really sick, then staying in bed wouldn't be hard for them.  If they are faking....they will get "sick" of being treated thay way.

This was what I did for my boys, and they learned that faking isn't so good.

Hope this helps....

Debbie

[utahmomma]

I finally had to sit my children down and explain that "being sick" isn't the right way to get attention and it makes Mommy not believe you when you ARE really sick.  

Then I backed it up just like PGB suggested.  No TV, no games, stay in bed all day, only applesauce or oatmeal, lots of temperature taking, and horrible tasting medicine (I found a small dose of Vicks Formula 44 worked wonders).  Only had to do it with my oldest (the drama queen!) - her brother figured it out just by watching.

Yeah, it wasn't fun to take a day off from work but I figured it may save me MANY days off from work if she kept it up.

Isn't it amazing how they can figure out how to manipulate us at such a young age!  :-)  Hang in there.