suicide

[inmajortrouble]

Me and my boyfriend have been arguing for the past 3 months now and havnt been getting along good, and now has come to the point were he said if we argue in the next few days its gonna be over, and i take soo much **** from him but he dnt believes so, but all i ask for is for him to show he loves me but he says no he said i have to be nice to him, but i find it hard, and if we break up i think there is a good possablity i will commit suaside, right now im in a state, and i just cnt control my self, im sooo scared. help me

[shanienisa]

what is going on is a form of demistic violance

[waitingwithhope]

What you want more than anything is happiness and you are equating happiness with you maintaining this relationship. The problem is, that apart from this relationship, you are not defined by anything else and therefore your self-esteem is suffering. You can't hold onto a relationship or even someone else because you can not control how someone else reacts or how they feel towards you and feelings can fluctuate so much. What you do need to do is to decide how you want to be treated and don't settle for less--that also goes for how you treat yourself. If you are quick to criticize yourself, you are sending a message to everyone else around you that you think you are not worth anything and men will pick up on that and treat you accordingly or take advantage of how you feel. BFs will come and go. You will know that you have the right one when you don't feel that you are defined by your relationship but rather you are enhanced and complimented by the relationship. If he is not the right one, don't waste time with him because there are plenty of men out there that will treat you properly. Don't feel like this is your last chance or try to hold onto every scrap of hope. Sometimes things really do work out the way they do so that we learn from it and so that we demand and expect better in the next relationship. Also, get connected with other women your age--and go out and do fun things. If possible, connect too with a church group or other organization that will provide you with support and fellowship. You probably have been so focussed on this guy that you have closed yourself off to others. Isolation is not a good thing for anyone. If you feel suicidal at any point, reach out to others and be honest with what you are scared of or hurting over. Chances are you are scared to be alone, fearful of being unloved and you feel pressure to keep a relationship so you feel validated. You know what? We all feel like that to some extent and what you are experiencing we have all gone through. Don't let this define who you are, though. You become better when you get past those things that hurt you and you find a way to deal with it, work through it and become better. Take a deep breath and really envision yourself without the guy--or without any guy. Then ask yourself what you can or would like to accomplish in your life and set forth to get it. In the midst of you working on yourself and your dreams and goals, the right guy will come along at the right time and you will be so much more healthier and stronger and better able to recognize the good one when it happens. All the best.

[ANDREA3636]

you guys should compromise. Come up with some plans of some fun things to do and forget about all the negative things thatmake you argue..life is too short and if this is the guy that you wanna spend the rest of your life with, then you will make him happy..but you can't make someone else happy until you make yourself happy. So sit down and have a talk with him and find out what you guys need to do to have a peaceful life

[lighter_times]

Please, please, please don't do anything to yourself.  My ex-husband used to start arguments for the sake of it and like a fool I would argue back at the beginning.  Then he started to tell me he'd leave if we argued again and I thought my world would end so I learnt to keep my mouth shut and try so hard not to make him upset or angry.  Next came the fists for talking out of place and still I thought I loved him so much I'd kill myself without him.  So I tried harder not to upset him.  Then we had kids and that was another excuse to have a go at me but I never argued back in case he left.  I couldn't tell you how many times I picked myself up off the floor or covered bruises so nobody could see them because I was 'so in love' with him and thought my life would be over if he left.  Then one day he beat me so bad as I tried to protect my kids and then left because I argued back and prevented him from getting to my kids.  I finally realised my life was worth more than I once believed - I've been on my own with my children for years now and I hold every life so sacred.  You are worth more than you realise and yes, he may leave but being honest from what you've written you deserve so much better.  Don't ever consider throwing away a future where you can find true love and happiness because you are frightened of someone leaving you who isn't treating you very nice in the first place.  What would you say if it were your best friend, mum or sister writing your note?  I'm sure you would tell them just how special they are and how they definately deserve to be treated better!  Please put up another message if you want to chat but I firmly believe no person who can treat another like **** is worth losing your life and future happiness over!