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Delayed/Retarded Ejaculation....yes or no?
Hello,
I'm a 24 year old male, and when it comes to my sexual history, My concern is I feel I may have Delayed ejaculation. Every time I had sex(4 women total) I didn't really feel anything inside the vagina, nor did I ever feel close to cumming/ejaculating. The first woman I had sex with, I didn't have sex with for very long, because it was before school. The second woman I had sex with much longer, but I didn't come close to having an orgasm, infact I didn't really experience that much sexual pleasure from that interaction period. Even during the oral sex, I received, I didn't really feel any of the sensations that I was expecting to experience. I also went soft on a couple of occasions. The third woman I was with sexually, and and she was with me for an hour, and like the last female, I don't feel I came close once to feeling an orgasm. The fourth woman which was last friday, I also felt disappointed by my sexual experience,I don't honestly felt I came close to having an orgasm, nor did I experience as far as the sensations I was expecting during sex, did I feel I received. I wondering, what may be the issue? I'm very confident, it's not physical, I had two physicals this summer(just because I wanted to) one with a personal trainer, because I was starting weight lifting, and 2nd with a doctor to get a regular physical, and they said I was healthy and for the most part in good shape. So I'm wondering is it something Physiological....Is it performance anxiety(perhaps), lack of attraction for the women I was with( 3 out of the 4 women...I wasn't really attracted to, even though getting a erection was never a problem) or was it the condoms I was using, or maybe even though I had an erection, I wasn't truly aroused enough. I have ejaculated/orgasm before(so I know my penis works) but It always been when I was sleep dreaming(I was very aroused then).
I'm a 24 year old male, and when it comes to my sexual history, My concern is I feel I may have Delayed ejaculation. Every time I had sex(4 women total) I didn't really feel anything inside the vagina, nor did I ever feel close to cumming/ejaculating. The first woman I had sex with, I didn't have sex with for very long, because it was before school. The second woman I had sex with much longer, but I didn't come close to having an orgasm, infact I didn't really experience that much sexual pleasure from that interaction period. Even during the oral sex, I received, I didn't really feel any of the sensations that I was expecting to experience. I also went soft on a couple of occasions. The third woman I was with sexually, and and she was with me for an hour, and like the last female, I don't feel I came close once to feeling an orgasm. The fourth woman which was last friday, I also felt disappointed by my sexual experience,I don't honestly felt I came close to having an orgasm, nor did I experience as far as the sensations I was expecting during sex, did I feel I received. I wondering, what may be the issue? I'm very confident, it's not physical, I had two physicals this summer(just because I wanted to) one with a personal trainer, because I was starting weight lifting, and 2nd with a doctor to get a regular physical, and they said I was healthy and for the most part in good shape. So I'm wondering is it something Physiological....Is it performance anxiety(perhaps), lack of attraction for the women I was with( 3 out of the 4 women...I wasn't really attracted to, even though getting a erection was never a problem) or was it the condoms I was using, or maybe even though I had an erection, I wasn't truly aroused enough. I have ejaculated/orgasm before(so I know my penis works) but It always been when I was sleep dreaming(I was very aroused then).
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello,
Thanks for posting your query.
I can understand your concern for the lack of orgasm during intercourse. Since you are getting erections strong enough for penetration, I don’t think there is any problem with erection. However if it is getting soft repeatedly then we need to think regarding erectile dysfunction. An erection problem is not only to get an erection but to maintain an erection that is firm enough for a man to have intercourse.
Secondly if there is delayed or no ejaculation then it can be termed dry orgasm when no semen is ejected during orgasm. A 'dry orgasm' is when a man reaches sexual climax but does not ejaculate and no fluid emerges from the penis. Again, at your age two important possibilities would be psychological causes and diabetes.
You are just 24 years of age, so you are right that it may be psychological in nature. Psychological factors which couple up include stress and anxiety, poor communication with your partner( possible because you had no attraction for 3 out of four) , unrealistic sexual expectations which make sex a task rather than a pleasure and negative feelings about non performance which may be due to the thoughts in your sub conscience that you will be having delayed ejaculation or no orgasm. Then this forms a vicious cycle of non performance—stress—non performance.
Other than that, smoking, alcohol and taking illicit drugs may also cause such symptoms. I hope you are not indulging in any of these. Basically erection and ejaculation requires a sequence of events. Nerve impulses in the brain, spinal column, around the penis and response in muscles, fibrous tissues, veins and arteries in and around the corpora cavernosa constitute this sequence of events resulting in participation of ejaculatory duct and hence ejaculation. Injury to any of these parts which are part of this sequence (nerves, arteries, smooth muscles, fibrous tissue) can cause problems with maintaining erection and ejaculation. Hence other than psychological causes, medical causes like hypogonadism, thyroid disorders, pituitary disorders such as Cushing's disease, diabetes and hormonal imbalances also should be ruled out. Having said this, to bring it to a nutshell, it looks more psychological and should improve with behavior changes. You can check whether you are having any problems with ejaculation or orgasm during masturbation. If no then it is due to psychological causes and if yes then it can be due to physical causes.
Regarding the treatment part, you can consult a sex therapist. He may explain step by step regime becoming more comfortable coming when a partner is around. You can indulge in plenty of foreplay, kissing, masturbating in front of each other or mutual masturbation before penetration. The basic idea is to increase comfort with coming while someone else is present. Yoga and meditation also helps in calming the mind and you can participate in that also.
Hope that this information helps and hope that you will get better soon.
Wishing you good health.
Thanks for posting your query.
I can understand your concern for the lack of orgasm during intercourse. Since you are getting erections strong enough for penetration, I don’t think there is any problem with erection. However if it is getting soft repeatedly then we need to think regarding erectile dysfunction. An erection problem is not only to get an erection but to maintain an erection that is firm enough for a man to have intercourse.
Secondly if there is delayed or no ejaculation then it can be termed dry orgasm when no semen is ejected during orgasm. A 'dry orgasm' is when a man reaches sexual climax but does not ejaculate and no fluid emerges from the penis. Again, at your age two important possibilities would be psychological causes and diabetes.
You are just 24 years of age, so you are right that it may be psychological in nature. Psychological factors which couple up include stress and anxiety, poor communication with your partner( possible because you had no attraction for 3 out of four) , unrealistic sexual expectations which make sex a task rather than a pleasure and negative feelings about non performance which may be due to the thoughts in your sub conscience that you will be having delayed ejaculation or no orgasm. Then this forms a vicious cycle of non performance—stress—non performance.
Other than that, smoking, alcohol and taking illicit drugs may also cause such symptoms. I hope you are not indulging in any of these. Basically erection and ejaculation requires a sequence of events. Nerve impulses in the brain, spinal column, around the penis and response in muscles, fibrous tissues, veins and arteries in and around the corpora cavernosa constitute this sequence of events resulting in participation of ejaculatory duct and hence ejaculation. Injury to any of these parts which are part of this sequence (nerves, arteries, smooth muscles, fibrous tissue) can cause problems with maintaining erection and ejaculation. Hence other than psychological causes, medical causes like hypogonadism, thyroid disorders, pituitary disorders such as Cushing's disease, diabetes and hormonal imbalances also should be ruled out. Having said this, to bring it to a nutshell, it looks more psychological and should improve with behavior changes. You can check whether you are having any problems with ejaculation or orgasm during masturbation. If no then it is due to psychological causes and if yes then it can be due to physical causes.
Regarding the treatment part, you can consult a sex therapist. He may explain step by step regime becoming more comfortable coming when a partner is around. You can indulge in plenty of foreplay, kissing, masturbating in front of each other or mutual masturbation before penetration. The basic idea is to increase comfort with coming while someone else is present. Yoga and meditation also helps in calming the mind and you can participate in that also.
Hope that this information helps and hope that you will get better soon.
Wishing you good health.
Sex therapist, Urologist, what would be my best option?
I've never been into masturbation at all, my whole life, so i've never practiced it. So yes based on what you said, it does sound like it's psychological. I'm not currently in a relationship, so I don't have a steady partner now, could a sex therapist still help me?
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