My wife and I have been married for nearly 12 years. The last seven years has been very irregular in the sex department, sometimes being as many as 22 weeks between sexual encounters. On average, we have sex about every 10-12 weeks. We are both 44 years old and in good health. My wife has indicated to me that she has no desire for sex. She is usually too tired, her back aches, or she'll promise me sex and then doesn't fulfill her promise. I find that the constant turn down is very frustrating and long for the intimacy and passion that we once had. When we have sex, I make certain there is plenty of foreplay and that she is well lubricated. She seems to have a climax when we have sex. I can never get her to have sex with any type of frequency. I can track on a calendar nearly down to the day when she might be receptive to my sexual advances. We have discussed the issue extensively and she freely admits she has no libido. I bought her some supplement vitamins once that were supposed to increase her desire but it only made her mad (those were mis-marketed). I had heard a family story about her grandmother who shut off grandpa ( so grandpa had a mistress for years) and I wonder if her lack of desire may be hereditary. I find that I have a strong libido and desire sex often, at least a couple times a week but I would settle for the national average of married couples of once a week. My problem is I tend to get short on patience and easily irritable if I do not have sex or masterbate. The lack of sex effects my self esteem and my whole outlook on life. I find myself masterbating in private to relieve the stress and to achieve some limited sexual satisfaction. It has worked for me for a number of years until recently. Now I find myself masterbating more and more frequently and achieving less and less satisfaction. It has become nearly a daily ritual in the shower or any place where I have some privacy (car, tool shed, 3 a.m. in the bathroom) and when my wife is gone for a few days, I spend all my free time masterbating, as much as 3-4 even 5 times a day. I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with my sexual situation. There are all these great drugs for erectile dysfunction, but is there something that would tone it down or take away my sexual desire altogether? We have a very good relationship except for the sex (the lack thereof)and I fear that the sexual barren aspect of our relationship will eventually drive us apart or lead me to seek a partner other than my wife. I have given the situation a lot of thought, and the conclusion I've reached is that the sex needs to become a non-issue, ie no desire, no sex, no frustration, everybody lives happily everafter. I am willing to to take an anti-testosterone drug if one exists and has limited side effects. I certainly don't want to lose muscle mass or grow breasts or ingest something that has permanent effects. It would certainly be nice not to have nearly daily erections.