Hello - thanks for asking your question.
Without examining you, it would be impossible to say way you have.
1) Herpes, syphillis or chancroid are all possibilities for genital lesions. If there is confusion as to whether this is herpes or not, you can consider a herpes culture, Tzanck smears or blood tests.
2) The frequency of recurrence depends on the severity of the initial infection. Thus, both numbers you quoted above may be correct. The mean duration of lesions is generally shorter (10 days compared to 19) and systemic symptoms infrequent; keep in mind that 25 percent of recurrent episodes are asymptomatic.
3) It is certainly possible to obtain a dermatitis or exacerbated a fungal infection from rough sex. To be sure, I would be seen by your personal physician or a dermatologist.
4) I cannot think of any disease offhand that may be related to this. Again, a referral to a dermatologist for further evaluation would be the most comprehensive course.
Followup with your personal physician is essential.
This answer is not intended as and does not substitute for medical advice - the information presented is for patient education only. Please see your personal physician for further evaluation of your individual case.
Thanks,
Kevin, M.D.