How do I help our adult daughter loose weight?

[joannjoe]

Our 25 year old college educated daughter is from an active healthy family. She is also active but is not interested in exercise. Her daily choices include regular soda, pastries, coffee lots of creme and large fatty meats for her main diet meal. She drinks Large cocktails and beers nightly.  She is very bright and knows and understands the value of quality meals. She truly was a beautiful women. The weight gain has her thick hair thin and skin pale.

We are all concerned at her choices and extremely worried for her weight. She is 5'4" and closing in on 200 lbs. What can we do as a family to help? We do not live in the same state. Should I offer a fitness membership? I do not think she would go. Weight watcher membership?

Bonus money if fitness health is achieved?

Any advice?

[joannjoe]

I greatly appreciate the more direct information on how I can not interfere with our adult daughter. The fact is I would be alienated even with asking her to see a professional(dietician or doctor) would her feel like a child. She strongly does not like to be told anything. Saying that I do like the Wii recommendation. I also like your reference on the uncaring
'your weight is your concern". She is sensitive and would be hurt if I expressed such callous remark. If she makes a comment about fitness or heath, I need to be positive in a gentle way without sounding over the top. Her obsessiveness with eating a high fat and sugar diet has some emotional issue because she goes out of her way to add or eat these foods, Thank you for your reply. i found it very helpful.

[karilaine]

I was thinking that exactly, especially the "be made to" parts. I'm 24, overweight and I would hate it if my mom did this. She is living her life as an adult and should be treated as such. With my parents we only talk about my weight and health when I bring it up, and they encourage me and that's it. Its nice the parents are concerned for her but mine would never ever say "she WAS a beautiful woman" Great recommendation for the wii!

[karilaine]

I was thinking that exactly, especially the "be made to" parts. I'm 24, overweight and I would hate it if my mom did this. She is living her life as an adult and should be treated as such. With my parents we only talk about my weight and health when I bring it up, and they encourage me and that's it. Its nice the parents are concerned for her but mine would never ever say "she WAS a beautiful woman" Great recommendation for the wii!

First, I understand your concern but she is a grown woman.  No amount of force or trickery will get her to do something she does not want to do. Frankly despite the fact that she is your daughter... her fitness and food choices are hers to make not yours.  

Now that that is said.  "I don't care how much you weigh as long as you are healthy and happy."  is what an un-shallow person who loves her would say.  

As to the poster who said "Also she should be made to take all blood tests for obesity check ups such as diabetes, cholesterol, thyroid etc."     Friggen hell... "Made?"   How about encouraged?  Again the OP is a parent concerned but no longer responsible for her daughter's choices.  If she goes along these lines .... she will only serve to alienate her daughter.  And  once that happens she will be lucky if she sees her daughter ever again.

Here is what I would recommend.  Get her a Wii.  Most wii games require movement the sports package I did this morning had my arms burning.  Eventually, I'll get the Zumba ones.  This would be great for her too if she loves to dance.  

This way she doesn't have to go somewhere with a bunch of scrawny-assed witches judging her.  She can do it at home.

[joannjoe]

Thanks you for your reply. I do agree that a dietician is a great beginning to a permanent life change. Her friends can be a manipulator cause it always fun to have someone join the group to eat. Her social group are people who are fit and make healthy choices. Her entire situation does not make any since with her food choices. Her facebook posting yesterday included ordering pizza's from another city. I am going to look into a nutrition type program for her and hopefully it will be accepted. Thanks again.

[Dr. Kokil Mathur]

Hi!
I can understand your concerns. However self realization is very important for a fitness program to be effective. You could probably nudge your daughter to consult a counselor or a dietician regarding her diet. Also she should be made to take all blood tests for obesity check ups such as diabetes, cholesterol, thyroid etc. Usually people who do not eat healthy have these problems and metabolic disorders. Seeing abnormal test results is often motivational enough. Then she can be made to join a fitness center and have regular meetings with a dietician. Her friends and family who stay around her can act as motivation for her and can urge her to eat healthy and exercise. Hope this gives you a way forward. Take care!