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I need help

I need to drop about 100lbs and am having a hard time. My hubby has a big sweet tooth and when he is snacking it looks so good I have to have some too. I have a hard time with all the fruits and veggies because my mouth loves them but my tummy doesn't. I have a job that I sit all day and I have a problem making time at night to work out (don't want to do it in frount of hubby). I just need some advice as to what I can do. I feel like I'm just stuck being overweight the rest of my life. I hate the way I look and need to know what I can do to be happy with myself. Please help!
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I understand your dilemma because I also am very easily tempted when I'm around someone who is eating something I have a weakness for. Basically if something is in front of me that I love, it's extremely difficult for me to ignore it. The only foolproof method I've been able to develop for myself is to just keep those kinds of temptations out of my house and away from me. If I don't have immediate access to any of my trigger foods/snacks, then I don't have to worry about eating them! However there are times when I'm out with friends or are in some type of environment where I can't avoid it completely, so I try my best to limit myself to small portions of my absolute *favorite* things and then just get back on track as soon as I'm not in that situation anyore. I'm less likely to overindulge when I'm in a social setting around a lot of people anyway. When I'm home alone I feel "safer" overeating because I don't feel the pressure or worry of being judged if I overeat, hence I keep as much garbage out of my house whenever possible!

It would definitely be a lot easier for you to lose weight and get healthier if you could get your hubby on board too. Whether or not he has to lose weight, I'm sure he could still benefit from eating less sweets. Have you talked to him about wanting to lose weight? Maybe you can explain to him that it's important for your health and mental well-being to lose weight and it's very difficult for you to stick to healthier eating because you get too tempted when he snacks in front of you. Maybe you guys can come to a compromise and keep healthier snacks around the house. And if he's not willing to cut down on his sweet intake, ask him as a favor to at least not to so in front of you (whenever possible) and maybe have him keep those kinds of treats in a seperate cabinet away from your other food so you'll be less likely to grab some.

There are a lot of good snack options that will satisfy your cravings. If fresh fruits and veggies upset your stomach, there are still some ways to work around that. Try different varieties because for example you may find you have a hard time digesting melons, but no issues with oranges. Some fruits like apples or pears may be easier for you to digest if you remove the skin (lots of nutrients in the skin but some people just have a hard time with the skins of some fruits and veggies) Same goes for potatoes, zucchini or cucumber etc. Raw veggies may upset your stomach too so if remove the skin/peels from some of them doesnt work for you, you could try something like Beano or just quickly steaming, grilling or roasting the veggies may make them easier on your stomach

As far as desserts and snacks, there are some some granola and healthy snack bars that seriously TASTE like dessert..Luna and Kashi make great ones and the best part is they're individually wrapped so you'll be less likely to go back for a 2nd or 3rd helping. Try keeping pre-portioned sealed treats around the house. 100 calorie packs are rarely nutritious BUT they're a way to indulge your sweet tooth, but within reasonale portion sizes. Try other things too like nonfat greek yogurt with a little granola or fruit. You can even make oatmeal taste like dessert. My favorite way to have oatmeal is to cook some plain steel cut oats (WAY more filling than mushy quick cook oats) with a little vanilla extract and then mix in some unsweetened cocoa powder, walnuts and fresh berries. You could use a little honey for sweetness, but I usually add a packet of Stevia in the Raw (no calorie natural sweetener) I also will make oats with about half a tbsp of peanut butter and raisins (or any other dried fruit) OR another way I have my oats is to cook a sliced banana in with the oatmeal so that it melts into the oats and then add some nuts and cinnamon and it tastes exactly like banana bread! And if the banana is ripe enough, it sweetens the oatmeal enough where you don't have to add any sugar or sweetener at all.

Also I'm not sure if you like to bake at all (I love to) but there are a ton of healthier baked good recipes out there, You can bake with egg whites instead of whole eggs, whole wheat flour instead of white, half the sugar in the recipe (I swear you can't even tell), use applesauce in place of oil or butter and the list goes on! I subscribe to a few health/nutrition based magazines which always have great lightened snack/dessert recipes. Cooking Light, Health and Clean Eating are my personal favorites. Usually when I bake something like cookies or muffins, I half the entire recipe so I won't have SO much leftover and if necessary I freeze the rest so they arent sitting in front of my face begging to be eaten!

I know how challenging losing weight can be, but there are always ways to work around whatever personal obstacles you may face. I've lost over 154 lbs at this point and although I still struggle at times, in general I've tapped into my inner strength to just keep going even when I fall off the wagon repeatidly. You can do it too I promise you that! Best of luck to you and feel free to send me a message any time if you have any question! :-)
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh and as far as working out goes, what about if after dinner you and your hubby go for a walk, even if it's only a few times a week at first. Walking may not BLAST those calories away, but it's still movement and you can make it more aerobic by walking at a brisk pace, choosing to walk up stairs or up hills, even walking with ankle weights on. I think it would be easier for you in general if you try include your husband in your healthy lifestyle changes as opposed to working around him. He shouldnt be too opposed to taking an evening stroll with his wife. It's a nice way to connect anyway :-)

I have a "thing" with working out around people too (which is why I still havent joined a gym or signed up for any type of classes)If you don't want to join a gym either, get a few good workout dvds and some free weights and just simply workout in a room that has a door you can close if you never have a time where you have the house completely to yourself -- that's what I do! I'd highly recommend Leslie Sansone's 3 or 5 mile weight loss walking dvds. I used to be skeptical about them because I thought they would be *too* easy (ie: ineffective) but although they're low-impact and not particularly challenging, you actually do get a great workout!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for the advice :o) I will have to try it and see if it will work. I'm just worried I won't have the disiplin to stay with it. But I will try.
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1310468_tn?1274867525
I hate to sound harsh, but until your long-term desire to look and feel good becomes stronger than your short-term desire to eat sweets you're not going to get very far. There's a box of Toblerone sitting on the coffee table less than three feet away from me right now that someone gave my boyfriend for his birthday a couple of weeks ago. I ADORE Toblerone, but I haven't touched it and I'm not going to - it's a piece of food, it doesn't have power over me.

If this really is a problem, would your husband be willing to forgo his treats to help you? If you can persuade him not to eat them, or at least to buy them as he eats them and eat them away from you, so they're not in the house, that would probably be a big help. When you say your tummy doesn't like fruits and veggies, do you mean you're actually allergic to them or just that they disagree with you?  If it's the latter you should get used to it after a couple of weeks, you just have to stick with it.

Why don't you want to work out in front of people? Does that apply to the gym as well as your husband? I can understand if it does, but feeling embarrassed about your body in front of other people could be a pretty good motivator. If you exercise alone, you're more likely to just tick over on the treadmill instead of working hard ... and I say that from experience, the only way I can effectively exercise on my own is to set myself a HARSH target (say 10km on the cross-trainer on middle resistance in 24 minutes) and get competitive with myself. Otherwise, I'll just spend an hour doing naff all in the gym.

More practically, here is the best food regimen you can follow...

First, cut wheat altogether - it's high in oestrogen, which makes your body lay down fat layers. It is almost impossible to reach a low-body-fat percentage if you're eating wheat, you won't believe the difference it makes until you've cut it.

Second, cut sugar altogether, including fruit sugar. Use artificial sweeteners if you must, but spikes in your blood sugar level causes the body to produce insulin which is what converts sugar to fat.

Third, eat only good, low-GI carbohydrates, only in small amounts, always with protein, and only after hard exercise. Good carbs include porridge oats, brown rice and sweet potatoes - bad carbs include white rice, regular potatoes and of course pasta and bread, although cutting wheat will eliminate those last two anyway. Again, the issue is energy-density; these foods dump a lot of sugar into your bloodstream, which causes the problem I described above. You need a little after hard exercise so your body can use protein to repair your muscles, but it should be minimal and eaten with a big portion of protein so it doesn't get broken down too quickly.

Fourth, eat LOADS of good quality protein. These include skinless chicken and turkey, lean beef, fish (any fish) and eggs, although take it easy on the yolks. Good protein cannot be converted into fat, and will keep you full - and prevent you from catabolising your muscles and slowing your metabolism as you lose weight. There is no reason to be hungry when losing weight - seriously, as much protein and vegetables as you can eat is fine.

Fifth, eat loads of veggies (except potatoes, and be careful with roots like swedes, parsnips etc). As much as you like.

Six, buy some omega 3, 6 & 9 capsules, and take at least two every day. It's a complex chemical equation, but essentially without good fats your body can't get rid of the fat in your cells. A good fat is anything high in unsaturates ad poly-unsaturates and low in saturated fats.

Seven, exercise efficiently. First thing in the morning when your glycogen's low so you'll burn fat, and after your last meal in the evening so your post-workout burn will continue through the night (although if you find you're getting sore, have a low-calorie protein shake like Promax Diet after your evening workout). Interval training burns more fat than steady-state exercise, and heavy weights is even better again.

That's the essentials, really. If you haven't resented the harsh early comment and you'd like any more advice, just message me. If you can stick religiously to the above for just a month, you should lose a good few inches all over - but don't go by weight, because you may find you gain muscle which is heavier than fat.
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1487356_tn?1329258277
I know exactly how you feel, this could have been me posting this months ago before i decided to change my lifestyle. I too have/had 100 pounds to lose and I am currently 38 pounds down. I have a sedentary job where i sit all day. But now i have a "walking" buddy who works with me and we walk 2 times during the day on our 15 minutes breaks. I work 7-6 and have a 4 year old and a 9month old so i'm always busy, busy busy. So when i get home i throw dinner together and while its baking  in the oven i will go to the gym (its in my apartment building) while it cooks, so when i come back its done. Then i spend time with my kids and do whatever else I need to. Sometimes I do a workout video on the days when I get off at 3:30 instead of 6 before my husband gets home. Sometimes i do them when he gets home even though he complains because I'm using the big tv. And for me planning is a big must. I always plan out the night before what my meals will be for the next day. And I keep a food diary too, it helps keep me aware of how much i'm actually eating. For example, I splurged today and had Chick-fil-A for breakfast and when i got to work i looked up the nutritional values and my meal was 830 calories! thats not as much as compared to some fast food meals but thats 1/3 of my daily calories. I don't think I will be doing that again for a while. Normally when I even have a craving for eating out I will look up the nutrional content and it deters me. And even worse is that I dreaded putting that in my diary because I do go to a weight loss center and see a nutritionist who looks over my diary to see what my diet has been like.

It gets easier the longer you stick with it. And I've actually been finding some really good recipes that are actually healthy for you and my husband doesn't even realize that he's actually eating food that is good for him.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks everyone.
Soggymoggy as far as the 1st comment I guess I should have said that I don't pig out of junk food. There is always some inthe house but I don't  eat them all. It's only a couple times a week I will have some low fat icecream if he is having some.

I don't understant the no wheat though. Always thought wheat was the better choice.

Kimmit- I will be doing more walking outside as soon. I don't get breaks at work so I can't just go
out :o( If you don't mind my asking what types of things do you eat for breakfast and lunch that help with your weight loss.

I normaly have a bowl of cereal or a protein shake for breakfast and a 1/2 pb&j sandwich carrot sticks and applesauce for lunch.    
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1310468_tn?1274867525
Hi Shanniree.

I wasn't trying to say that you pig out all the time, but sweet food of any type is an issue because of the spikes it causes in your blood sugar. Excess sugar in the blood is converted automatically to fat if it's not used immediately. Ironically, low-fat foods can be worse as the fats (which weren't necessarily bad anyway, although they probably are in icecream) are often replaced with sugars.

Wheat - whole wheat anyway - is good for digestion if you're not intolerant to it. Unfortunately, they now estimate that around 60% of adults are intolerant to wheat and it typically results in bloating, gassiness and generally feeling low. It's like cow's milk - we all use it, but we're just not well adapted to processing it. This isn't well known though; most people don't realise they have a problem with wheat until they cut it out for another reason. Personally, I find that if I go back to eating wheat my waist will be a good couple of inches bigger within a week just because it upsets and bloats my guts.

Look, simple calorie counting is OK to a point, and if you're taking on 1,400 calories and burning 2,000 per day you WILL lose weight. The problem is that if you're not careful with the TYPE of calorie you're taking in, you can end up burning muscle instead of fat. Since most of your energy demand comes from your muscles, this can make the situation worse in the long term - it's why so many people struggle to lose weight as they get older, they've reduced their muscle mass through previous diets.

To put it simply, protein and veggies (except potatoes and other high-starch ones) can't be converted to fat. Carbohydrate and sugar are very easily converted to fat. Unsaturated fats are necessary to shift body-fat out of your cells.

Going back to the sugar thing for a moment. One of the issues with the modern diet is that we have far more sugar and starch than our systems evolved to deal with. This means we produce far more insulin than we would naturally, and many people become over-sensitive to it. When this happens, it means that even a small amount of blood sugar will be converted to fat because the body essentially "overreacts" to it. The diet I've outlined above is not only good for fat-loss and the maintenance of your metabolism, but it resets your sensitivity to insulin too in about three weeks as long as you can stick to it religiously for that time (unfortunately, even one sugar spike can undo all your good work, so you really do have to stick at it).

I'll be honest, the meal plan you mention above made me cringe. You're going hungry, and because there's SO much starch and sugar there you won't be achieving as much fat-loss as you could.  Weight Watchers sell their customers a high-starch, low-fat diet. This results in weight loss to start with... but look how many people spend their lives going back and forth to Weight Watchers. That's a diet designed to produce repeat business, not to help people lose weight permanently.
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hi Soggymoggy.

Thanks for all the advice and I know u didn't mean that.

My problem is I don't really know what healthy food is. I grew up with boxed food and pasta every night. I don't do that since I moved out on my own but I also don't know the right food to eat. I will stay away from sugar and wheat. Maybe that's part of my problem.

What is a good sorce of protein for breakfast other than eggs? I always thought I was doing good with only having cereal or protein shack.  I just don't know what to eat. It's frustrating.
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1356580_tn?1294266917
Relying on will power alone will almost always lead to failure. Plus, I don't think it's healthy to put yourself in a mindset where you get points for depriving yourself.

We need to change the way we see food, not get obsessed with resisting it. Food is meant to be enjoyed. It tastes good for a reason. It's comforting for a reason. Instead of training the brain to resist food--which could lead to other issues--I think it's a safer bet to change your attitude towards food.

shanniree, have you tried reading up on low glycemic foods? It's a great way to decide what to eat and what to avoid. And it works for everyone.

What to avoid:

Anything precooked or prepackaged. They tend to be high in sodium. Anything made with enriched bleached flour. Anything loaded with sodium or fat that isn't necessary.

Check the nutritional information on the back of the package, then check the ingredients.

I wouldn't give up on wheat, but stop eating plain pasta and switch to whole grain pasta. It's more filling, has more fiber, and tastes just as great! Make sure all your bread, bagels, and rolls are whole wheat as well.

Don't forget to read the labels, though. The first ingredient of any bread that claims to be whole wheat MUST be "whole wheat flour." Avoid anything that uses the word "enriched," and look for how many grams of fiber are in each serving. Aim for 3 grams or higher.

For breakfast, I say go for the eggs. They are high in protein and good fat, which means you'll stay full longer, and you'll less likely to eat as much the rest of the day.

If you don't like eggs, then try a cereal high in fiber and protein, such as Kashi. Or go for a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter and a banana. Don't be afraid to eat a large breakfast. It should be the biggest meal of your day, in fact.

The foundation of your daily diet should include protein, fiber, complex carbohydrates, and fat. Don't try to cut any food completely. On top of that, you want vegetables, which are loaded with things like fiber, potassium, and vitamins. They can also fill you up faster.

For vegetables, I use color as a determination of what's good for you. Green vegetables (with the exception of pees) are almost always low in calories. (Green vegetables: spinach, green beans, lettuce, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, and broccoli,) White or light vegetables (with the exception of cauliflower) are almost always starches that tend to have more calories. (White vegetables: corn, lima beans, pees, potatoes.)

But don't avoid the white vegetables completely, since they also have important nutrients for the body.

If you can possibly manage, try to not drink your calories. Avoid juices or sodas that are high in sugar. And drink plenty of water.

This is a lot of information, and if you're like me, it'll take awhile to start adapting to this lifestyle, which is fine. But this isn't about depriving yourself. It's about finding foods that are healthy that you also like.

Even now, if I really want something, I'll eat it. Making a food forbidden is going to make it that much harder to resist. You have the freedom to eat whatever you want, but you also have the freedom to realize it may not be worth calories. Foods that are processed, loaded with sugar, sodium, and fat aren't always that great tasting once you've been exposed to fresh, healthy options.

Good luck!
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1563048_tn?1299190177
I was 234 when I started my diet 4 months ago. I have 3 kids, my youngest is 16 months. I am now 202 and still dropping. I want to get down to 160 by June, but I will be happy with any results I get! My biggest problem is that after having 3 kids so close together I have a lot of extra skin so I want to lose it slowly so it has some chance of going back to normal. Basicly what I do is eat healthy. I hear you on the hubby thing, this morning he comes home with a thing of donuts, I wanted to smack him! lol. But instead of eating 5 donuts I had half of one. I wont deprive myself of anything cause I know I will end up eating an entire box of something if I take it out completely. What has REALLY helped me is drinking a slim fast in the morning and for lunch along with a piece of fruit that I like. For dinner I have a weight watchers meal. I LOVE dessert so I buy the 100 cal packs and have one of them. I also find drinking crystal light seems to help also. I HATE water, but I love the fruit punch crystal light. I just bought a $500 treadmill on craigslist for $50! I hated spending the money but it is well worth it. I have only lost 2 pounds since i bought it two weeks ago, but I can see myself getting smaller. I can fit into my jeans and my underwear isnt cutting into me anymore. So I know I am losing inches even though the lbs arent coming off as fast. IT IS HARD! I wont lie, It is prob the hardest thing I have ever done but I just keep thinking of how fun its going to be to be able to go shopping in regular store and go to the beach and be somewhat comfortable in a bathing suit! I work out at least 30 min a day, if I can handle it I will push myself to an hour or more, but I make sure to get at least 30 min it. I set my treadmill up inside right in front of the TV so at least I am not bored. I know I would be watching it whether I was working out or sitting on my butt, so it makes it easier. You CAN do it. But It will be hard. I had to prepare myself emotionally because I knew it would be so hard but so worth it in the end!!
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