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Weight Loss & Dieting Community

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My Husband needs to lose 2 inches by Friday!!

by mrschavez, Jul 28, 2007 06:58PM
My husband needs to lose 2 inches by friday anyone know any easy FAST ways to do it??
Member Comments (4)

by DrJigoroKano, Jul 29, 2007 08:06PM
To: mrsschaves
Wow that's a tough one.  One week to loose two inches.  

First off I'm wondering where the two inches is?  Is is he too tall? Or too round?  Does it hurt when you have sex?  Let's assume that he needs to loose it off of his waste since this is a weight loss forum.

Since time is of the essence.  I would recommend going to the hardware store and buying a hand planner.  You can get a cheep one for about twenty dollars but this is your husband's health so you don't want to skimp on it, buy purchasing a sub par planner or asking for medical advise on a web forum.  Here is a link to a good one that costs about $70 http://www.woodcraft.com/family.aspx?FamilyID=370.  I would go to Home Depot or Lowe's to find one.  Stop by a gas station and pick up a case of Crazy Larry Deep Space Blue Energy Drink, we'll need those later.  You also want to pick up about five or six extra large packages of gauge.  There is going to be a lot of blood!  

First you and your husband both need to slam two Crazy Larry Deep Space Blue Energy Drinks each.  This will get you phsyked up and help him deal with the mind boggling amount of pain that's in store for him.  Next take your husband and tie him to a work bench or a coffee table, really any hard flat surface will do.  Make sure he is secure since he will be flailing around a lot.  Use the hand planner to cut the excess fat off of his midsection. You'll need to have an open can of Crazy Larry Deep Space Blue Energy Drink on hand to pour on the open wounds this will keep him awesome and it will help with the healing process.  After dousing the wounds with Crazy Larry Deep Space Blue Energy Drink, cover them with the gauge you bought earlier.  Make sure to cut the fat off evenly or he will look funny the next day.  

I would keep the excess fat to make soap with later.  This will be a fun shared experience and every time you bathe you can remember how hard you two worked to help to him loose weight.  As an added bonus, it's good for the environment! :)

Hope that helps! :)  If you have any questions, let me know.

by Symplgirl, Jul 30, 2007 09:18AM
To: All
Check out www.hcgdiet.com.  It is possible to loss those inches by Friday....tell them Shel sent you!

by wubbie3, Aug 09, 2007 01:14PM
To: DJK
You're an ***

by live4fitness, Aug 09, 2007 08:37PM
you tell him
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