OMG

[laura1977]

Moms this question is for you.

I have made the startling discovery tonight while looking at some pics of me....................I NEED TO LOOSE WEIGHT!  hehehehe
Remember I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works lots of hours and I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old in school, so I need a way to do this that will work around my schedule.  Should I buy a treadmill and just walk every night............. HELP ME........... hehehe
Man it is weird how it creaps up on you and you don't notice it till you see a pic of yourself.

[laura1977]

I'll have to try that because we have a couple of veggie tales dvds.  (I'll have to close the blinds so no one sees me dancing though.  hehehe

[Confused-one]

Hey just to add to your original post I thought I would tell you what helped me lose weight :) When my son was 3 I went the same thing & what we did was dance together. If his cartoons were on anytime they played music we danced ~veggie tales is Great for this my son loves silly songs with Larry lol~ but also we could just turn on the radio or put in a cd & it was great because it was "our" time & fun & good exercise. Just a thought but it worked for me & I didn't have to spend any extra money or miss out on any time with my son ~although I'm not a stay @ home mom, wish I could be though lol~ Hope this helps!

[Avas Mom]

Well i feel that way. But again my opinion. ANd yes laura i see it, you mail me your stories and if mine are any worse, haha ill email you mine back!

[laura1977]

up in the top right hand corner there is a little word that says inbox click on that.

[Happy2girls]

Sorry you felt judged.  That was not my intention.  I did not hold my daughters 24/7, that's not practical.  But it seemed to me that you were telling people that to hold their children was to spoil them.  We are all entiltled to our opinions of course.  

[Avas Mom]

uh no i didnt even know there were forums on this site i just started coming on here! so im new to it all

[laura1977]

Oh boy could I also tell you some doosies about my mother-in-law.  You should message me and we can talk about it.  Do you know how to do that.

[Avas Mom]

No i didnt get offended by your comment at all, thats your opinion and you can have it. I def agree with the mother-in-law thing even thought shes not technically my mother in law. I could go on and tell you so many stories of the things she did when i was preg and/or said and thats why to this day we do not speak and she rarely sees my baby. I hate advice when its not asked for and thats what she feels she needs to do.

[Avas Mom]

Ok first off i think happy you are judging what im saying too fast. WHy would you assume just because i didnt hold my baby constantly that i would neglect her in a way to wear i wouldnt hug her? WHat is that?! all im saying is i DO believe a baby can be spoiled. ANd you know what im allowed to have that opinion! I was never saying anyone was a bad mother for holding there baby. But im sorry i just didnt sit around 24/7 holding my daughter while the house cleaned itself and so on. And my daughter is just a few days over 10 mos and she walks too! When did i ever say holding them would make them a slow learner? My baby plays on her own learns everything on her own(not that we havent tried to teach her she does her own things) and i feel shes independant. She likes to play in her room and do her own thing So calm down!

[laura1977]

I would like to add though that I think that you should tell your boyfriends mother to stop telling you how to raise your child though.  I know where you are coming from on that one because my mother-in-law is really really bad about that.  But the thing with that is my mother-in-law wouldn't stop doing it, and now we pretty much never see her because she was so hard headed that she wouldn't except that fact that first, I'm not her daughter so I am not going to raise my child like she would, and second that she couldn't control her son or me.  
I'm not saying anything about you being a mother good or bad so I don't want you to think that, because I refuse to do that to a mother.  Every mother is different and most do the best they can and shouldn't be told how to do things..........most.  
I just don't believe in a baby being spoiled.  When my daughter got older though I didn't drop everything I was doing to go pick her up, I waited a bit, but not when she was 4 months old.  I just didn't want you to think that I was putting you down as a mother because I wasn't.

[laura1977]

Isn't it funny seeing a 9 month old walk though.  Which my daughter was small for her age, but I always thought it looked funny seeing her walk when she was so little.

[ksanden]

my daughter started to walk at 9 months also and i held her alot also
ksanden

[Happy2girls]

I have to agree with Laura on this one.  I guess anyone can cite cases to support their biases but I held both my girls (my oldest daughter had colic too, it was the longest three months of my life, but that's a different post)  and they are both doing wonderfully, in school, with friends and in extra-curriculars.  My oldest is more reserved and my youngest is more outgoing.  I personally always believed that you hold a baby when it's crying for attention, that's how babies communicate.  If your daughter said to you, "Mommy, I need a hug or can I sit on your lap"  would you deny them.  What do you mean by an independent 10 month old, I don't understand?

[laura1977]

I would like to add that my 5 year old daughter that I held alot, walked at 9 months old.  So that right there shows her independance.  I remember everyone couldn't believe such a little child was walking, it almost looked kind-of funny in a way.

[laura1977]

well I have two kids.  One is 5 and when she was a baby I held her all the time because she had colic really bad, and she now is one of the most independant girls in her class, I have to pretty much TELL her that I am walking her to her class because she would rather go on her own.  So I can't say I agree with you that your 10 month old is independant just because you didn't hold her all the time.  At 4 months old, a baby should be held and babied......hence the word baby.  We aren't talking about 7 or 8 months old.  You know babies are only babies for so long, and when your daughter gets older you will miss the fact of being able to hold her.  Some babies require much more attention then others.  It has been said that harder babies that have colic get more attention then easier babies that are quiet.  I so believe this to be true.  My 5 year old got alot of attention because she was so fussy, but my 2 year old when she was a baby I had to make sure I picked her up often enough because she was the type of baby that would sleep all the time and be able to entertain herself.  
Holding a child doesn't mean you are spoiling it.  I just don't want you to think that just because you didn't hold your baby alot is why she is indepenant.  Independance comes naturally in some children and others aren't like that because they are quiet and has nothing to do with spoiling them.  You could have 5 or 10 kids and they all would be different even if your mothering skills weren't.  

[Avas Mom]

I have to kind of disagree about not spoiling a baby. Yes a 4 month old can be spoiled!!! I rarely held my daughter when she was younger because i felt she would be spoiled and want held all the time! And shes now 10 mos old and is very independant. My friend has a son who is 4 mos younger than my daughter and she never ever put that baby down and when i baby sat for her and put him down all he did was cry, thats all he was use to. Im sorry but i had this same argument with my bfs mom and we are no longer on speaking terms(along with a load of other reasons though) I just dont agree when ppl say you cant spoil a young baby.

[ksanden]

u see i have tried to spend time w him but he goes on th computer every nite and plays on it. he picks out tues to be w/ me because thats movie day. he will watch the movie with me then go on the computer and play.. ive tried so many things i went out and got a poker set to play with him, went out got a wii and still nothing has change im just so loney. als because of our son we dont sleep together i sleep on the futon in our room. its been that way for the past 2wks
ksanden

[TMB1975]

Hey Laura, I have a suggestion since you are a stay at home mom, and I will tell you this really works. This work out is fun and challenging you will see a difference in a week. I bought this from an infomercial. I am usually not a believer in these advertisements but  I decided to give the Billy Bootcamp workout a chance and it works. And since you are at home how much easier can that be, you don't have to leave the house to go to the Y.M.C.A. but yeah check it out online if it sounds interesting to you. I lost 40 pounds with it and watching what I ate of course. Good Luck!

[laura1977]

there is no such thing as a spoiled 4 month old.  But rest assured that is exactly alot of the fights my husband and I had.  I mean you are probably tired and wore out and feel like you are being pulled in many directions, and your boyfriend probably feels neglected a little bit because of the new baby.  These are actually all normal things that happen to people when they have kids.  You know the best advice I can give you is when the kids do go to sleep, turn off the tv, computer, and whatever else, and play cards together, a board game, or sit outside and talk, or have some fun.hehe
I can't tell you how much fun my husband and I have at playing rummy.  It gets competitive and we enjoy it.  You don't have to have a babysitter to reconnect with your boyfriend, but it is important that you guys have time together.  Many married couples find out that after their children grow up and leave, that the couple doesn't know eachother anymore because they didn't work on their marriage when the kids were home.  Your kids will one day grow up and leave, and the only two left will be you and your boyfriend.  

[ksanden]

about how our son does not sleep and crys alot about how when he crys i comfort him  i baby our son. for the longest time while being pregnant with him doctors thought id not carry him full term they thuoght id have him at 25 wks and i had him 2 wks earlier from my due date. i had a really bad pregnancy and he is my gift and yes i spoil him but he is 4 months old what can you do to that age.. we have so many different partenting views. i have had a kid before and he is just learning it all and thinks he nos everything to do.. i no to put a baby down to cry isnt bad i dont do it alot the only time i do it is when ive had enough or he wants to be down.. im just tired of not haveing time in our relationship  never do anything. we used to talk alot now its about nothing, im scared that we have maybe came to the end. it feels as though we are roomates. little one is mad g2g

[laura1977]

Well, I have always said that just because someone is your blood doesn't mean they have earned the title dad, mom, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa and etc.  I'm glad your daughter has that kindof relationship with your boyfriend.
So, why do you guys fight......... over stupid things or things that matter?  Let me guess stupid things?  Seems to always be stupid things we fight about.

[ksanden]

my bf is the father of my 4 month old anf my 4 yr old her father has nothing to do with her i get child support from him and a phone call around christmas and a present for christmas and her birthday which is january 9th so i get it all in one.. my bf takes the responisiblies of fatherhood to her. if you ask my daughter who her dad is she will say my bf but she calls him by name and once in awhile calls him dad. just depends on her mood.
ksanden

[laura1977]

Girl, your life reminds me of my life when my 5 year old was young.  No sleep, husband and I fighting.  It does get better though.  As much as my husband and I use to fight we worked out our differences.  It was hard and took time, but we did do it, and life is great now.  EXCEPT! for the 15 extra pounds I want to loose.  hehehee
Now is your boyfriend the father of your kids or no?  I don't remember.

[ksanden]

no i have not gain weigh. the 1st month i wantedo vomit. never did but felt like it.. it has helped me for my mood swings when i have my period and the bloating.  but i have been bleeding like crazy when i get my period. iam awaiting my doctors call lol.
dont feel sorry last night i was really late i dont no how i am still awake i just had a hour nap and just got up and feel so tired. my son did not sleep i went to bed at 1 carryed him upstairs for bed and he woke up and stayed up untill 3 we fell asleep and then fought at 5 am w/ my bf about our son he pissed me off. came downstairs and slept on the couch and got up at 7 got my daughter off to school.. but thats what i did.. im sick of my bf and the cruel things he has to say im tired of the games and im tired of fighting over the kids. i just dont no whta to do..
ksanden