Tried everything?!? Im sat crying my eyes out and lost at where to turn....

[steffieUK]

Im 22 years old next week... weighed in at 369+ lbs in April 2009 (scales didnt go any higher)
Its now July and I weigh 329 ....

In the past I have tried absolutely EVERYTHING....
Going to the docs
Exercise
Diet change
Atkins
Cambridge/Lighter Life
Slimming World/Weight Watchers
Glupe diet  - given to heart patients to loose weight before surgery
Food diaries

Any many many more....

None have ever been successful...

I am now taking tablets through a slimming clininc,
I have tried tenuate diazapan? think thats how you spell it...
I became immune to this quite quickly... but it messed up my sleep patterns something rotten...

Am now taking Phentamine - essentially works like speed....

These tablets have stopped me feeling hungry so much that i struggle to get 1200 calories a day down my neck and with regular exercise due to hardly eating anything the weight is coming off vry slowly....

Now I undertstand eating less etc and more exercise is good and essentially is what I am doing except I worry because I don't feel hungry, but most days my body is probably only getting 1 meal?? Im not starving myself, I'm genuinally not hungry, and when i do feel hungry I don't really get cravings when taking the tablets  - you see food as a desperate measure - see it as simply fuel which essentially it is except over the years the fuel has become more and more glorified to make it appealing and earn people more money...

I worry that although not feeling it, my body may well be in starvation mode?

I also cannot sleep to save my life... Ill go two days with no sleep at all - Cannot switch my mind off and Im taking the tablets at 7/8am .. so for example Monday i take my tablet at 7-8am, awake all day monday, try to go to bed in the eve but not tired, mind is too switched on, awake all day tuesday, (here is where i often don;t take the next tablet as dont want to stay awake again, tuesday night I try to sleep and usually end up drifting off about 6-9am in the morning!!

Its slowly killing me as Im getting so stressed out, then I know when I don't take the tablets I feel hungry quicker, although I know I have shrunk my somach in last few months, so then I don't want to stop the tablets as it seems they are one of the only things to have worked....  ARGH!!  Im just at a bit of a loss and feeling quite low!! :(

Also, I went to the doctors (NHS) for thyroid tests which i have done several times over the years..... in the past - mum has been told it is all her fault and it wouldn't be my thyroid so they wouldnt test me, then they have tested me and not bothered to phone me to tell me the results came back normal etc....

Had a hormone profile done.... Was told somethng about a sex stress hornmone being slightly raised??  No technical names given on phone, as receptionist was phoning my results through to me - not the doctor - told nothing to worry about, pretty normal..... asked to fill in a food diary of which i did and when given to the doctor she simply said so you should of lost a considerable amount of weight on this... I was fed up of arguming my corner as once again I had done everything right and not cheated etc... got on the scales knowing what my weight had done over the period of the food diary and the doctors reply was " well its clearly gone up 2 pounds becaus you have cheated... if you had written EVERYTHING down your weight would have gone down".....

so now, not only did i do what they say and my weight go UP - I am apparently a lier!!!

The system is a joke.... I've been plamed off doctor to doctor - informed that its all my fault - that only I can change it etc!! When I asked the doctors about slimming tablets they said they were only a last resort - IM 22 YEARS OLD, HAVE TRIED COUNTLESS THINGS AND I WEIGHED IN AT AT LEAST 26 STONE  - Im at my last resort.... I don;t want to drop down dead tomorrow... Im trying my hardest...

I asked about forms of gastric surgery and was told that I wasn;t really heavy enough to qualify!??!?! WTF?!?

So I have to go and put weight on before you will contemplate helping  me? and in the pocess I could drop down of a heart attack!? How does that work! The UK NHS are shockers!

You see so often programmes on TV where people who can barely walk let alone wipe their own *** get gastric surgery and or  tons of help  from the professionals who all want to help them live longer then the patient reqards their efforts by then going an ordering take aways .... ive seen gastric band patients blending mars bars and pizzas....!!

then you have us... those poeple in the middle who do everything right, but are punished with a weight problem their entire lives, despite trying everything they are asked,  and when they ask for help they are refused!!!!

How is this fair....

They say sucicide rates are high amongst obese people.... by all means I am not suicidal but after what I've told you - would you really blame me if I did?!

Sorry for essay and venting.... just needed to get it all out and seemed like a good place to do it, with similar people in similar situations...

No offence intended to anyone who reads this - except maybe the doctors I have had to deal with

Love from

A very upset 22 year old girl xx

[Lucey12]

Hunny. Dont be down. Focus on what your doing, and thats something. Doing anything, even if its unsuccessful, is something. Stick to something, stick to eating LOTS of fruits and veggies and water. Exercise daily weather you see results or not, find something you love. Less salt more water.

Count your blessings rather than your hardships.

[cjpietrz]

I wouldn't worry yourself too much about the pins and needles.  A lot of times it can be due to tight muscles/spinal discs compressing a nerve.  Have you tried stretching at all (especially for your neck & back)?  If it doesn't let up, you could consider seeing a physical therapist to address any biomechanical issues that may be to blame for it...but I would cross that bridge if/when you come to it :)

Hang in there girl!

[steffieUK]

thats how I feel in regards to food... nothing appeals at all... u could put every food in front of me imaginable and none of them appeal any more than the other... :(

lump in your throat could be a "goiter" not sure how you spell it but its to do with a hyperactive throid - by mum had it


sounds like your body is so busy burning fat that its full from the fat ... ive got loads spare if you run short! :) hehe

I swim 5 miles a week and try to get on the cross trainer for 1 hour a week and the odd power walk in a morning /evening.... but im a teacher and there is genuinally no time! :(

[Stro512]

Oh one more thing..during this sick period I'm going through the first few days it felt like I couldn't get enough air, sitting or lying down made it worse. So for 3 days and nights I shuffled around the house like a zombie, constant moving seemed to help but after 3 nights of no sleep the fatigue really sets in. I found some music that really helped me get some sleep. Dr. Jeffrey Thompson; Delta Sleep System. You can find it on itunes and you can listen to a sample on Amazon.com. Delta sleep is deep sleep. I listen to "Delta Sleep System" not "Delta Sleep System 2.0" The 2.0 is too stimulating for me. If you try it, play it just as you lay down to try and sleep. I found that turning the volume way down so that I can just hear it is most effective for me. I use it nightly and it has helped me get some really needed sleep. Getting some good sleep is so important.

[Stro512]

Don't give up..I'm spiraling in the other direction. I was at 252 when I decided to do something about my weight..I started riding my bike around the neighborhood every couple of days (March) and I tried not to eat past 7:00PM. I started to steadily lose a little each week. You can see my progress on my weight chart, then during the last weekend in June, my wife and I were doing some cleaning, I got sick two days later and ever since I have no appetite or want for food. I'm waiting for some blood work to come back but it will take a few weeks. I have a feeling of something stuck in my throat all the time. It does not help that I have some anxiety issues when it comes to my breathing! You can see from my chart that I'm losing weight almost by the day. It's a scary thing because I'm not in control of it. I don't understand how I can't be hungry. before getting sick I couldn't eat enough Chinese food it is my favorite but now even that has no appeal. The things I eat, I eat because I know I have to eat not because of hunger or want. I know losing weight too fast is bad for the body but what is one to do? I hope we both can overcome the issues that plague us. What ever is ailing me, I don't wish on anyone. It's disturbing to the psyche.

[steffieUK]

yeh its a slow release tablet... this is week 6? nearly the end of!!

for the last 2 days I have also been sturggling with pins and needles in my left hand, mainly my little finger, and sometime my right hand againg starting in my little finger...

I also have a dull pain above my elbow on the underside of my left arm and it wasnt bugging me but havign spoken to people and obviously being big etc Ive now worried myself silly and the pins and needles arent letting up,,, my little finger on elft hand is feeling a bit numb!!

:( just one thing after another!

[cjpietrz]

You're absolutely right that dr's and the health care system suck when it comes to issues with weight.  It's ridiculous how little dr's know about weight/weight loss/diet/exercise.  Don't let them tell you that you should have lost weight if you had written down everything in your food diary, they don't know what they're talking about.  Weight naturally fluctuates from day to day due to a variety of factors.

My friend is actually taking phentermine and she said the same things as you did about it, said she was getting really bad headaches as well.  Her side effects went away (for the most part) after being on it for 2 weeks (although she still is only eating barely 1,000 cal/day).  How long have you been taking the stuff?  Do you know if you're on an extended release tablet by any chance?  If not, you may be able to cut the tablet in half (ask your dr about it first).

I too have struggled with my weight throughout my life.  At 15, I ended up with an eating disorder, and at that point my parents took me to a registered dietitian and a personal trainer.  They were able to help me MUCH MUCH more than the dr's ever could.  They really saved my life.  They actually inspired me to go into the health field myself.  My B.S. was in Wellness, Health Promotion and Injury Prevention with a Minor in Exercise Science.  

I know it's very hard, but try to keep your head up.  I know how you feel when you say the weight is coming off extremely slow, but in reality anything above a weight loss of 2lbs/week is unhealthy (not to mention if you're loosing more than 2 lbs/wk it's probably not entirely fat that you're losing, but a mixture of water/muscle/bone loss).

Anyway, you're not alone, I have been in similar situations myself and I know how hard it is.  Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, keep on keepin' on :)

Christina

[steffieUK]

Apologies for my awful spelling and grammer!! Am upset and type too fast for my own good !  But I am sure you all know how it is when you need to say something when your angry and upset and can't get the words out quick enough

Steff xx