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Just really lookin for some guidance
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This forum is for questions and support regarding Women's Choices including abortion, adoption, parenting, problems with a pregnancy, woman's health or life, and fetal anomaly.

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Just really lookin for some guidance

So... I wasn't sure how to go about just reaching out to people for advice so I figured why not online.  Really don't have a specific question but am in desperate need of some real,honest and truthful advice.  I am a 25 yr old women and I recently took an at home pregnancy test.  And yes it was very much positive.  I did the online tracker it puts me at about 7 weeks along.   I am in a state of utter confusion as to what emotions to feel let alone what to do.  I recently suffered a stillbirth in september at almost 7 months and I thought that was the end for me.  Emotionally it was draining not to mention physically.  I was alone then and my son meant the world to me... still does.  Now I'm facing this pregnancy and am at a lost.  Unfortunately had a lapse of judgement and this baby is with someone else and this father has told me to not keep it (doesn't want to deal with me for 18+ years...lol.. I knw real mature) and I am still dealing with losing my son.  I look at this as a second chance but yet I feel like I'm takin away from my son and that I may not be ready.  So please if there's ne women out there willing to lend an open ear and give me advice I'm all yours... Thanks....miss. happy but heartbroken :'(
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Needy, Well you got a man, you have a second chance, but do you want to do it on your own, I think that is the bit that will need lots of thinking about.
Look I know what your saying, but can you go it alone, thsi will be the end of your now life as you know it, there will be the costs and they will only go up, as any child will drain your pockets of all your lonley life and money, these are the things you really have to think about, before you go forward with your life.
This is were you need to come out and look from the outside of your life as it now is, and at the same time look to were your going to be in the future as a single mum, by me saying this do you understand it, because its a hard life out there for a single mum, no more saturday nights out, no more have meals with your friends in restaurants, no going for a mid week drink with the girls at work, all gone, why, because you will be on your own.
So please think very clearly before you go ahead.
But at the end of the day this will be your choice and its your body, not mine or anybody elses, your the one who has to do all the thinking, right.
Good Luck
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136956_tn?1363091289
That definitely would be heartbreaking and a hard decision to make.

I can't imagine what it would feel like to have a stillborn after all those months carrying it.

The only thing I can say to you is accidents happen and sometimes we do things that arent what we would normally do, like getting pregnant by someone else.

Thing is what is your heart telling you to do?

I was pregnant with an abusive man and at 5 weeks I left him. For me abortion wasn't an option (not judging at all just so you know) I knew that I just couldn't do that. However I knew the relationship was bound to end but I decided to have her anyways.

I left him when she was 5 weeks old due to abuse and took him to court for child support. He never had a job, never paid so I closed my account and moved on with my life.

My 10 yr old Grace is the love of my life and she saved me from who I was as a person. If I didn't have her I would never be the person I am today. I am glad I made the choice to keep her.

Are you financially able to keep the baby on your own? You could always have him sign off his rights, or you could put the child up for adoption.

There are so many mothers out there looking to have a child that can't so there are so many options open for you.

I wish you the best of luck on your decision because I know it isnt easy.

In the end go with what your heart is telling you to do.    
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973741_tn?1342346373
Sweetie, I guess you'll have to do what your gut tells you.  I honestly wasn't sure if a fetus was a baby until i was pregnant and felt my kids move inside of me.  That changed everything.  You've felt that now and I believe you'd love this child just as much as the child you lost.  But it is up to you if this is the right time or not for a pregnancy and to have a child.  

Lots of luck and peace in your heart as you make this decision.  Let us know what you decide.  
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