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My ex wants abortion
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My ex wants abortion

I just found out I'm pregnant for my ex that left me before we found this out. Right now the situation is that I can't do abortion and he totally hates me. I told him that even tho this was unplaned I want to keep it. He said I'm the most selfish person and he doesn't want anything to do with me. And as far as he knows we don't exist and he pitys this child inside me. I do not feel this hate on me is fair on me cause he didn't use protection. Now he's going around tellin ppl I'm mentally ill and I'm keeping the baby to get hom back. I'm in really stressful situation and now he even changed his number.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there and welcome to med help.  Well, reality is that you will be raising this child alone.  He doesn't sound interested in being a father of any sort.  Once the baby is born, you can go through legal means to establish paternity and have him pay child support.  This will take a lawyer.  And your support will be based on what he is currently making.  It could end up not being a lot of money.  In terms of bonding with baby, having any sort of relationship---  that is not something you can force upon someone.  He'll perhaps change his mind but I doubt it.  And if he does, he may then seek custody to share with you, meaning he'd have the baby at times and you'd have the baby at times.  Many couples do this successfully but it is key that you accept that he would then be interested in the baby only.

Those are just some of the things that are realistic about your situation.  I know it is hard.

So, what I'd do now, if you are wanting to keep the baby and adoption is something you don't want to consider, start making a plan of how you'll raise and care for the child on your own.  Do you have support from family?  Do you have job training/education so that you can work and be financially independent and raise the baby?  Who will watch the baby while you work?  Where will you live?  All of those things that go into planning a stable home for a child.

No one should force another to have an abortion.  But once someone is carrying a child, they have to start thinking in terms of being responsible and providing for it.  That's where you are at now.

You can't  count on anything from your ex at this point.  good luck
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973741_tn?1342346373
ps, many women do raise kids alone.  it's hard work but they are successful doing it and if that is your desire, just get the plans together and you can be successful too.  good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi S, End of the day, your body and your choice, which ever way you go, make sure you add up all the pro's and the con's, and make sure you get your head around things before its to late, dont have it just for the hate of this guy, keep a clear head in all things you do.
Bringing up kids are fun, they will educate you, as you them, its a two way thing of give and take with them, but you will need lots of money, kids arnt cheap, and as they get older and bigger so will the bills, this is were the pros and cons come in.
So just think deep about what you are going to do.
Good Luck
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973741_tn?1342346373
Probably what I would say the hardest part of having kids for me is the giving up of my own time.  Any moment that they are awake, I'm in charge of them.  And their needs always come before mine.  I sacrifice a lot of my own time (and sometimes my own adult fun, grown up fun, personal fun) for fun with them.  trade off.  wouldn't trade it for the world but it is absolutely an understatement that kids monopolize your time and energy.  
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