Aa
Please dont judge me.
So i just found out i was pregnant 5 days ago im 5 weeks ..i havent told anyone just yet except my boyfriend. This was an unplanned pregnancy and yes we used protection .. however once i missed my period that was it.. we both hav an amazing relationship however neither one of us are ready financially. Im scared that i may be selfish for bringing this baby into this world and were not established yet, we both work hard from pay check to pay check to make a living. Right now i dont have family and friends moved miles away almost 2 yrs ago to pursue my career and have a better living, im turning 25 and i currently live with roomates (student housing) thats what i could afford at the time but im moving out soon since i got promoted at my job. So ill have my own apt, i was saving up for a car so i definitely have something to show for ..... anyways to just cut straight to the chase... a part of me wants to be happy that im pregnant but other days i feel a guilt that i may not be the right mother for my child.. and my bf is very supportive about weather i decide to keep it or not... but i cant imagine ending something that couldve been... its tearing me apart and keeping it all a secret isnt helping... and each day time is ticking i feel i have a desicion to make.....and please no negative comments i know that therr are some mothers expecting and cant even begin to imagine doing such.. i completely understand.. i just dont need to be bashed on ..on top of everything.. any advise?
Don't be so hard on yourself. Condoms break sometimes and birth control fails occasionally, you were just one of the unlucky ones it happened to. Don't beat yourself up over it.
It sounds like you're not ready for the financial burden that comes with having a baby. That's ok, and it's good you're thinking ahead like that. Ultimately, you'll have to make the choice about what to do based on what is best for you but I'm sure if you take the time to think it through that you'll make the right choice for you. Everyone's situation is so different and so individual, it's impossible to give a blanket answer that covers everyone equally.
It sounds like you're not ready for the financial burden that comes with having a baby. That's ok, and it's good you're thinking ahead like that. Ultimately, you'll have to make the choice about what to do based on what is best for you but I'm sure if you take the time to think it through that you'll make the right choice for you. Everyone's situation is so different and so individual, it's impossible to give a blanket answer that covers everyone equally.
COMMUNITY LEADER
We are here if you need any help or support. peace
PS: exactly right make a decision that is right for YOU. :>)
PS: exactly right make a decision that is right for YOU. :>)
Thank you everyone for taking the time to hear me out, understand me, and sharing your experiences, i do feel a little relieved and hopefully i can make the desicion thats right for me. Thank you all.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there, bashing isn't allowed on this forum, no worries. If you feel bashed or judged, please report it and it will be removed.
Abortion is a good choice for some women who are not ready to bring a child into this world. It is legal in this country and gives women more options when an unplanned pregnancy happens. There is absolutely no one that can tell you an abortion is wrong to have if it is the right choice for you, so please, take that into consideration.
I want to commend you for your responsible thinking.. Many go ahead and have children when they aren't emotionally, physically or financially ready. Parenthood is very hard. I'm the mother of two kids and they were planned and wanted and I STILL think it is really hard work. It's very expensive. Sure, babies are expensive but as they move into the toddler years, elementary years, etc. the amount needed adds up. In wildest dreams, I never imagined how much it would cost to help my kids along in life! And it often comes with great sacrifice from my husband and I. New things for us or our home is secondary to our kids needs and when you have kids . . . their needs aren't just food, shelter which are basic, but as a parent, you will want them to have nice presents at birthday and Christmas, etc. Meaning, you will want to DO for your kids and it is hard when you can't afford to. I also must comment on how parenthood changed my life in terms of ME. I am not a mother. That takes priority over everything. I must take my kids needs into consideration over everything else I want to do. The amount of time I get to do just me is not a lot. But, part of the job and kids are only young for so long. But if I hadn't planned on that, giving up my social life, my ability to work long hours without worrying about what was going on at home with the kids, etc. would have been hard (harder than it was I should say).
Now, I am NOT saying you shouldn't have this baby. Please do not think that. It is YOUR choice. Babies and children are also WoNDERFUL and my boys are the best thing in my life for sure! But being aware of the realities of parenthood is important to make a good decision for YOU.
So, I'd weigh out your options. Thing about each one and what it would mean for you.
If you had the baby--- think about how it would change your life. Where would you live, do you have medical coverage, do you have income for baby needs, do you have childcare so you can work, etc. Planning out these things helps in my opinion to see if it is do-able at this time. you might have to go live with your parents or something like that. Is that a possibility? Think of how a child would impact your life and if this is something you can and want to take on right now.
Another option is adoption. This can really be a beautiful thing. You do have to carry the baby through a pregnancy but at the end, you give another couple the most beautiful gift. Then down the road when you are in a better place, in a more stable position, you can have a child. Adoption lawyers are great help and you could possibly help pick out the adoptive parents and nowadays, they do open adoptions in which you would have knowledge about what is going on with your child and some contact.
The other option is abortion and this is a good one if it is just bad timing for a pregnancy in general. Abortions are performed often on a sliding fee basis so can cost nothing to not very much and is a fairly easy and simple procedure. This frees you to continue on your path that you had set for yourself unencumbered. My dear friend had an abortion when in college as it was not the time for her to have a child. She went on to have a successful career and had her first child at 30 with her husband. I fully understand her choice and any woman that makes that choice.
so, those are the three things to think about. all have pluses and minuses and you must think of those for yourself and what it means to you. There is no right or wrong. We are here if you need any help or someone to talk to. peace
Abortion is a good choice for some women who are not ready to bring a child into this world. It is legal in this country and gives women more options when an unplanned pregnancy happens. There is absolutely no one that can tell you an abortion is wrong to have if it is the right choice for you, so please, take that into consideration.
I want to commend you for your responsible thinking.. Many go ahead and have children when they aren't emotionally, physically or financially ready. Parenthood is very hard. I'm the mother of two kids and they were planned and wanted and I STILL think it is really hard work. It's very expensive. Sure, babies are expensive but as they move into the toddler years, elementary years, etc. the amount needed adds up. In wildest dreams, I never imagined how much it would cost to help my kids along in life! And it often comes with great sacrifice from my husband and I. New things for us or our home is secondary to our kids needs and when you have kids . . . their needs aren't just food, shelter which are basic, but as a parent, you will want them to have nice presents at birthday and Christmas, etc. Meaning, you will want to DO for your kids and it is hard when you can't afford to. I also must comment on how parenthood changed my life in terms of ME. I am not a mother. That takes priority over everything. I must take my kids needs into consideration over everything else I want to do. The amount of time I get to do just me is not a lot. But, part of the job and kids are only young for so long. But if I hadn't planned on that, giving up my social life, my ability to work long hours without worrying about what was going on at home with the kids, etc. would have been hard (harder than it was I should say).
Now, I am NOT saying you shouldn't have this baby. Please do not think that. It is YOUR choice. Babies and children are also WoNDERFUL and my boys are the best thing in my life for sure! But being aware of the realities of parenthood is important to make a good decision for YOU.
So, I'd weigh out your options. Thing about each one and what it would mean for you.
If you had the baby--- think about how it would change your life. Where would you live, do you have medical coverage, do you have income for baby needs, do you have childcare so you can work, etc. Planning out these things helps in my opinion to see if it is do-able at this time. you might have to go live with your parents or something like that. Is that a possibility? Think of how a child would impact your life and if this is something you can and want to take on right now.
Another option is adoption. This can really be a beautiful thing. You do have to carry the baby through a pregnancy but at the end, you give another couple the most beautiful gift. Then down the road when you are in a better place, in a more stable position, you can have a child. Adoption lawyers are great help and you could possibly help pick out the adoptive parents and nowadays, they do open adoptions in which you would have knowledge about what is going on with your child and some contact.
The other option is abortion and this is a good one if it is just bad timing for a pregnancy in general. Abortions are performed often on a sliding fee basis so can cost nothing to not very much and is a fairly easy and simple procedure. This frees you to continue on your path that you had set for yourself unencumbered. My dear friend had an abortion when in college as it was not the time for her to have a child. She went on to have a successful career and had her first child at 30 with her husband. I fully understand her choice and any woman that makes that choice.
so, those are the three things to think about. all have pluses and minuses and you must think of those for yourself and what it means to you. There is no right or wrong. We are here if you need any help or someone to talk to. peace
Im not bashing trust me but abortion (if I understood) is not the way. There are always other options. I am about to be a mom of 3 and I cant even afford the 2 I have, so im freaking out with u. Im currently going to school to fix the problem and give my kiddos a better life. Me, my hubby and 2 kids live on literally $ 900 a month and have been for 4 yrs. Thats for bills and everything. I don't know how we do it but it can be done. I know u say maybe this child deserves a better mother, but that child was specifically designed for u. It was no accident. I know u will do the right thing
Me and my husband are very young im 20 he is 21 we go married when i was 18 him 19 and july 2012 we found out we were pregnant we were beyond excited and then the next month found out we were having twins once again excited but scared we live on our own and depend on no one but ourselves we make it each month some months r rough finacially but we get through all we worry about is if we will be able to care for our boys financially! But i know we will cuz from day 1 we started buying stuff slowly and shld be set for a lil while! Im scared and nervous but we are first time parents so of course we worry! But just think it all through before u make a decision and know abortion isnt the only option there is! Prayers ur way!♥
Well in the end its only your choice that you can make on what you think is right for you. If you have any doubt you may regret it forever. I don't think anyone is every completely financially ready to have a baby but when that happens somehow you just make it all work and it all falls in to place. When I got pregnant with my first my so and I was far from financially stable but we did what we could and made it all work out. As long as you have love and a home the rest will come. I wish you the best of luck!! :) keep your head up it gets better. . It really does.
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