Im 30 weeks pregnant with my first child. I am 21 yrs old. Upon finding out I was pregnant I was sure having this baby is what I wanted. But my situation is not that nice.. Me and my fiance live with his parents and both dont have jobs that can support us to live on our own. I love my fiance but recently found out about his very serious drug problem. All the stress of living with his parents,.dealing with his habit, being broke and with a baby on the way is driving me crazy. Im always crying.. I just really have grown to hate my life. I feel disgusting in my body especially woth all the stretchmarks..and my fiance never seems that into sex anymore.. He says hes scared to hurt the baby. I just feel.so depressed..i get angry at the fact im so stressed over the baby.. Shouldnt I enjoy this? Ive been thinking of adoption lately.. But I know none of my family or fiance wants that... My best friend just found out she is pregnant and gping to get an abortion.. Sometimes I feel jealous she has that choice and I dont.. Idk what to think.. Help?
Hi there sweetie and welcome to med help. I'm sorry it is such a rough time for you. You have much on your plate.
First, remember that you are hormonal from being pregnant and that up and down emotional state sure can take its toll. And I would say that when you give birth, you should stay in close contact with your doctor to address any post partum symptoms you may be having.
Now, your boyfriend's serious drug problem is a huge issue to deal with. I'm sure that is horrifying. I've loved an addict before and it is very painful. They are sick but they are also ruining their life and yours in the process of feeding their addiction. Simply getting help doesn't always work--- some have a life long battle with addiction. Addiction often is a cycle of depression as well, so I am wondering about depression with your boyfriend. Has he been diagnosed with this? As it sounds like money is tight--- is rehab an option for him? Counseling/therapy? These are really important. At the very least, a 12 step NA meeting is crucial. You should go to an al anon meeting and become a regular as well as connections with an addict are difficult. This group is a support group for loved ones of an addict. If he is using, he is of danger to a newborn baby. This really worries me. He needs to address the problem or that should be a deal breaker in my mind. I would not stay with an addict after having the baby.
As to the employment issue. He is using and that might explain his difficulty. I would really think about what you can do on your own to become financially independent. Job training? College? Start working out a plan for yourself on that end.
Adoption is personal. I personally think it is a beautiful beautiful thing and can be best for all involved. YOU should make the best decision for yourself no matter what others say. I really feel that way. If this is bad timing for a baby to the extent that you think you would have trouble handling it--- adoption is a viable option. You could have something like an open adoption these days so you'd still be connected. But it is a huge decision that you need to be prepared for many emotions that go with it. I'd do some research on it in case you decide to go that direction and then just think about it.
I do wish you luck. YOu sound like a very smart, articulate young lady. I wish I could make this easier for you. Hang in there. We are here to support you in any way we can. Peace
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