Well I went to my doctors today and had an ultrasound (I'm 6 weeks) and to my surprise (big surprise) the doctor found 4 maybe 5 heartbeats. I was so surprised. I knew I had 6 matured follicles when I did the iui but I didn't think 5 of those would actually implant. Now they are telling me that I have to get a selective reduction and reduce the pregnancy to a twin pregnancy. I am so sad and scared. Has anyone ever been through a selective reduction? What was it like and how painful was it?
From what I understand you DO NOT HAVE to do it but they reccomend it. If you want to try and have all the babies then thats your choice not the doctors and depending on your view it is considered an abortion espically now that all the babies have a beating heart! I would do some research but if you need to do it for the safety of you then maybe it needs to be considered but dont leta doctor tell you it has to be done!
I do feel so depressed b/c I seen all the little hearts beating. It was the most wonderful thing. I do think about the babies health and I don't want any of my babies with birth defects. I am so confused!!
hey do you watch Juoh and kate + 8? ok well not to compare anything but the pregnancy! My theory is that if it is ment to be it is.. If you were to do selectivereduction you may fell guilty for the rest of your life! I know I would as well as wonder if they would have all been healthy! Why dont you Private message me and we can talk in private! You seem so confused and upset andI would love to chat! Hope to hear from you soon!
I am just thinking about the risks there is of having multiples. I would love to keep them all, of course, but what happens if they are born with serious birth defects that are long term? Won't they be suffering? I am in a very tough situation and I only want what is best for them all!!! I am so confused.
they may have problemsbut are you willing to have a baby with down syndrom (syndrome) and take the responsibility for it. They are the happiest kids ever! The chances of haveing them be deformed is rare the highest probibilty is Downs! Im def not trying to pressure you but honestly I think that if I were in your shoes I would keep them and take what God Gives me!
I can't tell you what to do but I will tell you what I would do- I would NOT selectively reduce my precious babies and end their little lives. I know this without a shadow of doubt, whether they had a birth defect or not.
Give yourself time to make a decision. You don't have to make the choice tomorrow! And no doctor can make you selectively reduce the number of babies you're carrying.
ok, to be honest, i would selectively reduce; to avoid complications for the babies and myself. i would not come to that decision lightly by any means but i'm pretty sure that is what i would do. but, i would feel guilty about it for the rest of my life and wonder about what might have been...and my circumstances may be very different to yours, i already have three children and am single. i want to be able to afford all my children the level of attention they deserve.
I agree with worriedbabe there are many decisions in life that you look back and say "Could have, would have, should have" but the smartest choice would be to selectively reduce. Of course that does not guarantee that even the ones that you do select will not have any developmental problems but 5 at the same time is too much for your body to handle and it reduces the likelyhood that all of them will develop well.
Then there's the actual concern of after they are born how hard it will be to raise 5 at the same time, money, diapers, milk, daycare, etc.
I would selectively reduce and it is NONE of our business and we should not make her feel guilty about it and specially not tell her that she will regret it later on because she could also regret having 5 babies at the same time later on.
Octomom is regretting her decision right now.
i agree with mumita... if you can raise all 5 then yeah and good for you.. but if you honestly feel you can't then i think you should do it.. look deep inside you heart and you will find your answer... only YOU can do and know whats right for YOU and you should feel no shame or guilt for you decision.. you are doing what is best for your family.. if i was in your shoes i honestly do not know what i would do.. this is a tough call but i know that i do not have the means to raise 5 children.. but the choice is yours
did you have a plan for this if it came about? can you tell before the reduction process which may or may not have problems? what if you reduce the "normal" ones and leave any with defects? this is a huge decision, and I sure hope you dont let any of the names on a screen on this board make you make probably the biggest decision you will ever have to make in your life. it is up to you and your familyonly. you can collect our opinions but please dont let any one of us talk you into anything. here is my opinion...I am assuming you knew this was a possibility from the start and had formed your own opnion on it. (you dont have to answer this on the board, but in your own head)...what was that opinion? Before you were int he situation what did you think you would do? Stick with whatever that plan was!!! Just my opinion.
Just because a few women on TV have had many children from one pregnancy does not make it safe or wise in any way. I agree that it is a very personal decision, and it is something you really need to discuss the risks and benefits of with your Dr. and your partner. If you are not happy with the information your Dr. is giving you, or have a harder time coming to a decision because you feel the Dr. is forcing it on you, find another Dr, and get more information! Knowledge is power, and the more you know about risks to you, and risks to the babies, from a medical professional, the more clear the path you would like to choose will become. Nobody but you, your partner, and you Dr.s will know the decision you come to, and regardless of feelings you have later in life with whatever you choose, you will always know that you made an informed decision that in your heart was the best decision for you and your family. It is not easy and I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy however you go!
The first question that comes to me is .... does the doctor give you the choice of how many to try for in the beginning. I've never been through this or know much about it but I would think the mom should get to make the decision considering the risks in the beginning. I agree with the other posters as far as doing what is best for you and your family. I'm sure it's such a hard decision but you have health and many other things to consider also. Good luck!
If I were you, I would research quint pregnancies as much as I could to understand the risks. Then talk it over with the people supporting you and your Dr. and then do what your gut tells you. Good luck.
Its ur call Sweety... don't feel any pressure .. as Imc2132 says... go with ur GUT... there shud be no guild whatsoever. Its ur life.. u call the shots. No one will help u with 5 babies or even 2. Only u'll have to work with what ever ur decision is. Good luck.
What I dont understand is why you had6 embryos implanted according to most IVF doctors the norm is 3 to get a singlepregnancy! This reminds meof the octomom situation becausethey implanted 6 and 2 doubled. It is slightly unacceptable that your doctor would implant that may and not knowthe risks!
It was an IUI, not IVF. 6 mature follies is a lot, but it's probably not very common for so many of them to actually fertilize and implant. Especially since the IUI is done after there have been fertility problems.
The IVF is where actual embryos are placed with a catheter in the uterus to either implant or not implant...the IUI is where the woman is given either oral drugs like Femara or injectable drugs to stimulate the ovaries to mature eggs. Before ovulation the males sperm is "washed" the the highest quality sperm are injected into the woman's uterus to hopefully fertilize an egg and result in pregnancy.
I have not read the other posts....but here is my honest and heartfelt opinion. I know why the doctors suggest SR...BUT how can you choose which lives are more important? Would you feel comfortable explaining to the 2 surviving children your reasons for aborting their siblings if they were to ever find out? Are there any OTHER risk factors involved aside from the obvious multiple pregnancy? MANY MANY woman have carried quadruplets to term. Not just the ones you see on TV but here in the real world. Yes there ARE risks. But how high are the percentages of those risks? This probably doesn't help you much especially since I've never been in that situation and can only say with minimal certainty that I would opt NOT to do SR and let nature decide.
SR in reality is not different than an abortion in the sense that you are preventing that pregnancy or part there of from coming to term. I have had an abortion, I've had 2 miscarriages and one stillborn. I can say that every day of my life...for the past 15 years I have regretted that abortion. It is the ONLY thing in my life I TRULY regret. Even though I was 17 and young and stupid, I regret it. I have handled the natural loss of THREE babies far better than I have the one that was lost by my own selfish choice.
As you have said this is a very TOUGH and personal choice you have to make. You need to look at YOUR risk factors, YOUR health, those things make a tremendous impact. Are you in really good physical health? Aside from fertility problems do you have any other health issues that could affect a pregnancy be it single or multiple? As juvenile as this sounds....it may help to sit down with your Husband/Boyfriend and make a list. Put all of the risks and cons on one paper and all of the pros and benefits on the other. Then you need to weigh the negative against the positive. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever your decision you can come to something that you are comfortable with.
" RESULTS: Complete data were obtained for 36 quintuplet pregnancies. Preterm labor complicated all pregnancies. Six pregnancies delivered prior to 24 weeks' gestation, with no surviving infants. In the remaining 30 pregnancies, the mean gestational age at delivery was 28.9 weeks (SD ± 2.0). There were trends toward later gestational ages at delivery in pregnancies with prophylactic cerclage placement and among multiparous women; however, these trends were not statistically significant. The perinatal mortality rate for the entire sample was 253/1,000. When adjusted for pregnancies delivered beyond 24 weeks' gestation, the perinatal mortality rate was 83/1,000. Minor and major neonatal morbidity affected 20% (26/132) and 10% (13/132) of quintuplet neonates, respectively. CONCLUSION: Quintuplet pregnancies are associated with high rates of obstetric complications and significant perinatal morbidity and mortality." (http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=13424191)
I did not choose this link specifically because it's negative. In fact, everything I have found so far points to high rates of fetal demise, complications to the mother, premature births, etc...
You will have preterm babies if you carry them all. To get an idea of what that can entail, you may want to look at the premature babies forum on here. Of course, you have no idea what kinds of complications it would mean.
I am not telling you to go ahead and do it. I just don't want you to think that one or 2 happy stories in the media paint an accurate picture. Get the facts and stats from medical professionals. Talk to people who have had preterm babies. Talk to people who have had multiples. Then make your decision.
tiredbuthappy- I do have to admit that I know someone who recently found out they were having quints but early on in the pregnancy 3 of them died and were absorbed into the mother's body. So now she's only having twins.
I think that if a woman's body is capable of naturally selecting which ones live, then that's fine. But I still wouldn't be able to selectively reduce myself. Just had to add that I know someone who recently went through this.
I would never be able to go through with it either theres just no way i could ever do such a thing!! As the ladies said though only you can deicide whats right to do! I did want to put my input though has any1 heard of the Wilkinson Quints? They live in Austin TX they wanted just one more baby they had a boy and a girl and were having trouble conceiving the last so they did the treatments and wound up with quints and she never reduced infact she got the best dr in the country in AZ and they babies were all born healthy and fine!! They were actually so big they hold the guiness book of world records for the heaviest total amount of weight for quints!! Heres their website if any1 wants to see they are very cute babies!!
http: // wilkinsonquints. org/ (no spaces)
I didn,t have IVF I just had injections and then insemination. I was on treatment for 10 cycles and each cycle there was 3 or 4 matured follicles. None of those implanted and then the doctor changed my meds to a higher dose. They did warn me that I could have a multiple pregnancy but I thought I would only get 1 or maybe 2 implanted if I was lucky. I went through a lot of pain during ovulation. I had so much pain every single cycle and I got to the point that I couldn't have intercourse for over a week. That was the only reason we went with the insemination. We always knew my husband had a very good sperm count so the problem wasn't with him. The problem was with me not being able to have intercourse during ovulation. Anyway, we are still thinking of what has to be done. I do know for sure that I don't want my babies to come into this world and suffer because of some birth defect. I did have minor complications with my daughter during birth that led me to have an emergency c-section and my fear is that I will deliver early and my babies will have to be over a month in the hospital hooked up to all kinds of different tubes. It is a very hard decision we will have to face in the next few weeks. I really appreciate all the advice and support from all you readers. Thanks to all!!!!
PLease let us know what you decide....regardless of your decision, we are all thinking about you as this one of the most difficult decisions a mother can make. I think I speak for the majority of us when I say, we are hear if you need advice, just someone to sound of too or opinions.
For those of you that said you would keep all 5... do you have the means to do that? you could comfortable take care of 5 children both financially and mentally and emotionally? And if you don;t have the means you would still have all 5? honestly? i think people need to get real with themselves.. i love my daughter with all of my heart and am soo glad that she is here with us but if i would have been pregnant with 5 children all at once there is no way in the world i would have been able to provide for those children.. we were barely making it with one child... so how in good conscious could i keep all 5 knowing that i couldn't take care of them adequatly? I think it would be irresposible of someone to have all five kids if i couldn't take care of them just look at octo-mom and all the flak she got.. you know why she got all that flak? its because she had all those kids knowing full well she didn't have the means to take care of them..
so vani you do whatever you feel is right for you and your family.. don't let what anyone says affect your decision.. these are all just our opinions and in all honesty our opinions really do not matter what matters is what YOU think and what YOU feel.. Just be as honest with yourself as you can be
If I may voice my opinion....even if you are only carrying one baby, the risks of defects is still there, premature birth is possible also. Yes premature birth increases with each additional fetus.
This is YOUR decision and I can tell from what you are saying, that this is the hardest decision you will ever have to make. But it is your life.
So many mothers on this Forum have had trouble conceiving and there are many that have lost their pregnancies early. This Forum is full of emotions about deliberately aborting a healthly baby. That's understandable. I totally understand these mother's that are desparate for a child. They would go to the end's of the earth, to conceive and deliver a healthly child. So please understand how emotional this post is.
I think your doctor is waiting 12 weeks to see if Mother Nature and God make any decisions for you. I suspect where you said that one baby had a very weak heartbeat, that this baby has the possiblity of not making it. This would be horrible, but as with every pregnancy, there's a chance of an incomplete gestation.
I can only say that I will pray for you and your husband. If you decide to carry these babies, you will have the support of every mother here, through the difficult months to come. You won't be alone. Even if you decide on selective reduction, we have to be happy for the babies that will go on to be born and thrive.
This is a difficult post, for sure. Thank you for being so brave, to come here and tell your story. I hope you make the decision that you are comfortable with. If you have any doubts, now is the time to voice them. If you decide to carry these babies safely to birth , you need the best doctor in the country to help you through this pregnancy. I forget the doctor's name, but he has been featured on many episodes on the Discovery Health channel, as being top in his field of bringing multiples into the world safely.
I totally agree with you. Pregnancy is only a period of give or take 40 weeks, having a child is a lifetime commitment. My concern is to be able to provide for these children rather than only worrying about the health of the pregnancy.
There is a high risk of having developmentally compromised children and your body will definitely not be able to carry to term the chances are that you will deliver somewhere between 26-32 weeks and your babies will definitely be in the NICU for quite some time. It is a serious risk to your health and the health of the babies and not only that it is quite a challenge raising 5 babies at the same time.
You will have to leave your feelings aside for a minute and think about the reality of the situation now and in the future.
I wouldn't do selective reduction myself. I can only tell you what I would do. And I wouldn't do it. No one here is trying to make you feel guilty either. It seems that when you post a different point of view than others, all of a sudden we are trying to make the poster feel guilty. And I am NOT trying to do that at all. I am only saying what I would do. But I also believe in a higher power much greater than myself. So that gives me my faith.
It is your choice and I can imagine that it is a difficult one to make. I have 5 children myself w/ one on the way. No, I didn't have them all at one time, but kids are expensive no matter what. Do we live paycheck to paycheck. Yep, sure do. I think most people do to be honest, but I am lucky to have a very hard working husband who does his best to support us, as do I. He works 2 jobs. So, do I. Mine is just different. One job is to be here at work full time and then I leave here, and one job ends and another one begins.
I wish you the best of luck in making your decision. I'm sure we can all agree that no one envies your position in that regard. But listen to your heart and go w/ that.
Oh, and I did see a movie on Lifetime about a couple that thought they had 5 and then when it came time to deliver, she had a 6th one hiding. So, the ended up with 6. They lived with her parents for a while and the 2 women stayed home while the men worked outside of the home during the day. The men still helped at night on their nights, but worked during the day. Anyway, they got fed up w/ the MIL and left. The husband ended up staying home while the wife went back to work full time. It wasn't easy for them but it worked out for them. They too were told, or at least offered, the SR but didn't do it.
Well, I didn't mean to get into all of that again. Good luck w/ your decision.
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