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abortion *options warning its long !
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abortion *options warning its long !

I know this is a sensitive subject but I just need some advice . Im 18 currently a senior in high school & on track to graduate & of course im pregnant about 6 weeks or so . Im in a nursing program in school to become a CNA but I don't have a job . My family does not support this pregnancy & wants me to have an abortion because they feel like I'll mess my life up . My boyfriend supports me & has a job , he wants me to
have it but he likes to "run the streets" so to say & all in all I don't believe he's ready for this baby even though he has one but can't see her because of his relationship with the mother anywho I think I can do it my due date is a week before my birthday whay a coincidence cause I have the same bday as my mom but I'll graduate have the baby & find a job as a CNA everyone is telling me "you'll be on welfare & medicaide & be a bad mother cause yu won't have money or time for the babies needs & wants" but damn can yu give me a chance anyway I made an appt for Friday so I'd have time to think ... please help.
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3147776_tn?1349200103
I'm sorry you're going through this.  It's a HUGE decision, possibly the biggest one you'll ever have to make, and you're having to make it at such a young age.

I'm not going to advise you on what decision to make, because that's an incredibly personal choice (and we don't permit religious or political comments here).  My only advice to you is to not rush into ANY decision.  You've got a whole lot going on, even besides this pregnancy, and you owe it to yourself to take some time to think through all of your options, and make the decision that you feel is best for you.  

It isn't unusual for young women in your situation to get conflicting advice from parents, friends, and boyfriend.  While it is worthwhile to consider all of those opinions, remember that the decision is yours, and yours alone, and you could regret any decision that you make based on what someone else wants you to do.
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3380249_tn?1383702669
Ask yourself. Am I ready for this baby? Can I support it and give it all the love it needs and wants? If you say yes. Then, you should have it. Honestly, I'm pro-life, but it is a personal choice. Will you ever regret not giving life to an innocent child? Will you do it, again? Think about all your options, before giving up. In the end, it is yours and the baby's life, not your bf or families. YOURS. Good Luck.
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1088509_tn?1352239847
I am sorry all this is happening. First off, if we all waited for the perfect time to have a baby we would never have babies. yes there are better sittuation but everything happens for a reason (not sure of your faith) but I believe babies are God sent!!! Second: parents always come around, they are not going to hate you or your baby forever they WILL get over it.Third: If you need state assistants for a while until you get on your feet, thats what is there for hun, we are all tax payers and I am 110% ok that my money helps out young mother who decide to have and love their babies!!! Forth :I know women who have had abortion and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them regret it and would take it back in a heart beat. Dont do anything you do want to. I am also pro life and for some reason unknown at this moment you were sent a little angel!!! God Bless and Good Luck
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1088509_tn?1352239847
Bump
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134578_tn?1404951303
Some thoughts:

Your boyfriend -- you're better off if from the beginning you don't count on him to step up and act in a parent role.  This does not mean you shouldn't expect child support, because you should.  His financial help will be part of what keeps you off Medicaid and etc., your family's nightmare scenario.  You'll need to see a lawyer to put that process into action.

Your job -- Figure out what you will be earning as a CNA, and what it will take to pay for child care when you are working.  This is a very important part of the picture, especially with an unsupportive family.  Find out how hard it is to get a job, and make plans to go forward -- for example, maybe become become an R.N. later.  Then decide how you will get from CNA to the next step.  

Where you will live -- figure out rent, food, utilities -- put together a budget.  Try to live close to child care and work.

At my son's kindergarten today was a mom whose son was crying, didn't want mommy to leave him at school because he has to go to after-school care when his mother works, and he wants her to be there to pick him up at noon the way some other mommies do, and here she is, holding her crying boy and late for work and having to tell him no.  Think of yourself and where you are going to be emotionally when torn between conflicting needs.

Lots of women who got pregnant young and kept the baby will tell you it was tough but worth it.  If you go into it having thought out these hard issues, your family might possibly stop their drumbeat that you are going to ruin your life.  On the other hand if a realistic assessment tells you that you aren't going to be able to do it, please consider adoption.  Some of the open adoption approaches are very good, giving the baby a good life and giving some grieving couple the answer to their prayers.

I hope you are able to find a good solution in all ways.


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Avatar_f_tn
I somewhat consider myself prolife & feel that I can't blame the baby for something it did not do & I feel that ALL babies are heavn sent , intentional or not  , its not hers/his fault so I'm really reconsidering. I do at times think I just might regret this & that I can make it work I just have to do a little more thinking but thanks EVERYONE for all your advice & help lord knows I need it. I also did consider adoption but I once I have it I would be greedy & want it :-/ but again thanks everyone I see I have a lot to think about.
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you concidered an open adoption?
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 17 years old. I'm 29 weeks pregnant.
I had unsupportive parents at first and even got kicked out. Went from friends house to friends house my first tri. With my fiance. Like everyone is saying it is your decision. Just make sure to consider every option. In my opinion, anyone with a heart would regret aborting. Its a really harsh decision. But better in some situations. Adoption is great too, maybe look into that. But either way. My parents came around. & I'm happier than ever.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 17 years old. I'm 29 weeks pregnant.
I had unsupportive parents at first and even got kicked out. Went from friends house to friends house my first tri. With my fiance. Like everyone is saying it is your decision. Just make sure to consider every option. In my opinion, anyone with a heart would regret aborting. Its a really harsh decision. But better in some situations. Adoption is great too, maybe look into that. But either way. My parents came around. & I'm happier than ever.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think you can have the biggest heart in the world and still have an abortion. Why? Because you're thinking of the life this child may have. No father in the picture, a struggling mother, going without things it needs. I personally know many young girls that have babies. They all said the same thing. I can do it on my own. Almost all are on their own with no help at all from the fathers or their families. They get welfare, WIC, medicaid. The kids live an unstable life. I do know some young women can make it on their own. I'm a mother and I'm married. Raising my daughter was the hardest job I've ever had. And I did have help from my husband. I had to work and I struggled to find the best child care for my daughter. I felt awful having to be away from her. I think all of us here understand what you must be going through. We're hear to listen and support you any way we can with whatever decision you make.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, it is a difficult decision for sure and much at stake either way.  If you feel like you'll regret an abortion in any way, then it would be a hard thing to do.  It's certainly an option but you need to be emotionally prepared for it. The good news is, you are a smart young lady with your whole life ahead and can have more children down the road.  Someone above also mentioned adoption, open or otherwise.  This too can be a really wonderful option for all involved.  Many wait for a baby such as yours to come to them to love and take care of. And if it is open, you would get to see your baby grow and develop.

Much to think of.  I would think of worse case scenario.  What would it be like if you are on your own with a child and no support from your family or the babies father.  You can always sue for child support (and in my opinion, should) but how much you receive is relative to his income and it can be a very small amount because of that.  You should think of the expense of raising a baby/child, who will watch the baby while you work, etc.  If it seems doable and you want to have the baby and hopefully never face the worst case scenario, then have the baby.  If it doesn't seem doable, then way the other two options to see which will sit better with you long term.  Peace and luck
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